Visit from the Grandparents Can Be Disruptive

Updated on June 29, 2009
G.T. asks from Canton, MA
3 answers

Hi all. My parents and 83 yr old Gramma come to visit me from out of state about every 4-6 weeks. I love them dearly, my 19 mos old daughter LOVES them to death. So this is GREAT.

But when they come she fights her nap, fights her bedtime, will hardly eat, and wakes about an hour earlier in the morning (yesterday it was nearly 2 hours earlier) and will continue to do so for about a week after they leave. UGH.

I am starting to dread their visits, and this makes me feel just awful. They want me to fly out to see them, and I cannot imagine what two plane rides, sleeping and eating in a new place would do!

Is there anything I can do about this? I do keep her routine as much as the same as possible when they are here.

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N.M.

answers from Hartford on

hi G.,
your baby girl is lucky to have such devoted grandparents that want to see her in a regular basis. Dont stress out over sleep routines, she'll adjust just fine. If she senses you're stressed about their visits, she will too! & then wont be as enjoyable for her. Use this time to get some time for yourself (a bubble bath for instance) they wont be there forever, so let them build up the memories. Good Luck.

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T.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi G.,
I don't envy the routine problems that ensue as a result of the loved ones' visits. However your daughter is a lucky little girl to have so many people that love her.

Here's what I'd do:

1. RE: waking up early, don't tell her about the visit beforehand. At least the day they're coming she sleeps till her normal hour. Also, leave her in her crib until her normal wake-up hour. She may fall back asleep, or she may play and have quiet time. When she wakes up, put a toy or a book in her crib (if there isn't already something like that).

2. RE: not falling asleep at night/naps, put her down earlier. Maybe you can trick her into thinking that it's her normal bedtime and she'll fight it for a while and end up falling asleep at the regular time.

As for eating, we all know you can't force a child to eat. As long ash she's a well-nourished child, a few days of not eating normally won't harm her in the long run. I know this must be extremely frustrating for you but try to just let it go...

Good luck!

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T.H.

answers from Boston on

I hear you! Changes to routine are always difficult, and it's amazing how long it can take a little one to get back on track.

I have to say, though, that I think you just have to try to roll with it the best you can. It's so good for her to see your parents and Gramma and spend this time with them. Life is too short, and I do believe that kids need to learn how to deal with adjustments to their routines.

When you have them visit, try to spend a little extra time with her alone before putting her down to sleep. Read extra books, sing extra songs, etc. so that she's relaxed and sleepy before you put her in bed. She may even forget that the company is in the other room!

Traveling isn't easy with a toddler - my son loves sleeping in his crib, but nowhere else right now. All I can say is to do your best to make the sleeping environment as similar to home as possible. Have your baby watch you put her bed together, and spend time playing in the room when it's not bedtime so she can get accustomed to her surroundings in the daylight. Load up her travel bed with anything and everything she has in her crib at home, bring a nightlight and a white noise machine if that's what she's used to. She may still resist and have a hard time, but it will make it loads easier.

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