Video Game Nighmare!!

I have no advice for you.
But I think this is kinda funny.

When my husband was young he was having attitude problems and social issues and problems with his parents.
Then one time he was sick and his mom bought him a video game and sat and played it with him.
It was a bonding thing and became a thing that they did together.

My husband is now a very successful, highly paid, video game software engineer.
He worked for Sony before and works for Microsoft now.
He has been "head-hunted" twice and is rapidly moving up the corporate ladder.

Sometimes video games can be a good thing...

We have a screen time limit in our house, and always have. I too, HATE video games. The one I hate the most is the one my husband brought into the house for all of them. yeesh!

With teen agers, the limit is 90 min a day on the video game and another hour or so with either TV or you tube on computer......but on school days, no video games. If grades drop or responsibilities are not handled, game time goes away.

My kids think we are mean!! I constantly hear that their friends are on games all day, etc...can do any games they want as long as they want... it doesn't matter to us what their friends do.
But our kids are at the top of their classes, excel in athletics, do community service in the neighborhood and hold down part-time jobs.
I think you and your son need to find other interests---let him do the suggesting and help him try new things/ hobbies.

fyi 1: A recent study done by the University of Iowa has shown that more than 2 hours of video games a day leads to attention problems in school from age 5 thru college age---all ages were tested. I think the teachers have seen this and that's why they complain.

fyi 2: Your son is upset and moody when he can't play games b/c he has become dependent upon them for happiness (i.e: his fix). Remember what happens to smokers when they can't get to a cigarette when they need one? yikes! And if he is miserable, he thinks he will get them back because you don't want to endure his moods. My kids getting grumpy with me does not affect my mood anymore. It takes practice, but when my moody kid gets crabby, I tell him I will be happy to listen to him or do things with him when he can be pleasant to be around. I tell him, "I am not held hostage by your crabby attiitude." and then give him a big smile.

Good Luck.

I think that video games can be highly addictive even in kids. Playing a lot of video games and watching a lot of TV totally kills their imagination and motivation to do anything else, so when you take them away it is going to take a while for them to adjust and be able to occupy themselves in another way.

I think it is good for you that you have decided to do away with the games and I would strongly encourage you to stick to your guns. You can password protect both of your computer and your TV and set limited watching times.
Make sure that you don't just leave him to his own devices and boredom, but do something with him. Sign him up for a sport, take him to a park, play a board game with him...

Yes, he will be very crabby for a while, maybe even a few weeks, but it will let up. After he has gotten used to it, I would be surprised if you don't see his behavior and school performance pick up.
Personally I think that in this day and age this is one of the important parenting battles we have to fight. Electronic entertainment and social networking will be an important part of our kids' life and it is our duty as parents to teach them to use these electronics in a responsible way and not let their lives being taken over by them.
Good luck!

Sign him up for camp. That will get him up and out - every day!

It is next to impossible to make boys give up video games. So that's normal, if that makes you feel any better.

I have found, that instead of trying to LIMIT video games, just get them occupied DOING something else. For example camp, as suggested below. Get him into a sport. Find other clubs or hobbies. If he's involved in other activities, you won't be as annoyed or worried when the rest of the time he wants to play video games.

And as far as limiting them goes, pick an amount of time, and stick to it EXACTLY. The less leeway there is on that, the less hassle you will have, and he will get used to knowing that he can only game at a certain time.

But you can't worry about what's going on at his friend's house. There are only so many things you have control over.

And on that note, if game time is extremely limited at your house, and not limited at his friend's house, then you will find that you never see your son, that he will always want to go to his friend's house. So find a good balance.

let him mope and complain , dont let him have them. My kids get 30 mins of computer /video game time a day and get it taken away if they misbehave. Ground him from seeing that friend with the video games.
Get the family a wii if you don't have one, the games on there are full body get up off the couch and move games. If you have a 360 get the kinect for it, they are also full body movement games. and let him play only those games 30 mins a day. If he want's mroe time he must do all of his chores and earn more time , my kids earn points per chore and can cash those points in on either game time, an outing, allowance $ , trip to the used bookstore, etc. Do NOT give in to this behavior or it will continue or get worse every time you take something away from him.

We had the same problem a few summers ago, my son was also about 8.
The first day of summer he was glued to the vide games. I decided that this wan't how I wanted him to spend the summer. I gave both my kids a cup full of 21 quauters at the start of each week. I charged them 1 quauter for 30 mins of screen time (TV, computer, video games). This gives them 2 hours a day. At the end of the week they kept the money. They were so excited to get the money that I found that they were choosing other activities. Sometimes i would give them a free 30 mins if they were good.

I can relate! Recently, I took all the games away except on weekends. It's difficult because as they become teenagers, gaming is also part of their social thing - it's how they relate to other guys. So I didn't want to take it away completely. Also, they have to get on the computer for school, and before I know it they've sneaked in a little gaming there, too.
I think you're doing a great job. Just keep being consistent with the consequences you've set. I would add if he complains and mopes, he loses more screen time. I've had my younger son accompany me everywhere as a consequence for sneaking on when he's not supposed to. It is a difficult battle, but keep fighting it because gaming can turn into a full-blown addiction. It's our job to teach them to balance their activities, delayed gratification, etc.

B., I agree with the folks who support you in limiting his screen time! Be sure to include television watching with all other screen time (TV, video games of any type, YouTube, and ANY other computer time for any reason). He is far too young to be out there navigating the Internet for whatever he wants, and YouTube and Netflix are no place for a kid -- he could end up watching who knows what on YouTube, or eventually getting into chat rooms where adults are pretending to be kids. But you know all that and you ARE doing the right thing to limit him now before this gets further out of hand.

One thing I want to add: You need to immediately change passwords for all your accounts (and for getting on the computer at all) so he cannot ever just sit down and log on by himself. He should never be able to get on without coming to you and saying, I'd like to go to web site Z now, mom. Then YOU have to log on (and don't let him see the passwords). Also be certain the computer is in a public place iin the home, like the kitchen or living room, not in a bedroom or study where he can shut a door and be hidden from you. Read a book or the newspaper, or craft, or whatever, but stay in the room while he is online. You don't have to hover over his shoulder but be there in the same room. Every time. He will get the message: The online world isn't his to play in alone.

I also have an 8 year old son. This seems to be the age where "toys" take a back seat--it's all about electronics. But I think you're doing the right thing to limit "screen time" overall--that includes games, computer, Netflix etc.
Make him earn screen time. Or give him 1 hour of overall screen time per day, maybe?

I think you are right to be limiting screen time. Also, games can be addictive. Many times my stepson has stayed up plowing through a game. It doesn't seem to matter what kind. I think that you are in a power struggle with your son and you need to win. Take it all out. Put a lock on the TV and the computer. He may yell. He may scream. But don't listen. I would also limit his time with friends where all they do is play video games. Consider getting him into a sport or activity where he can do something healthy and have an outlet other than video games. A four year old needs more than a screen to play with.

Well of course he will be angry but you just have to ignore it. I know it's hard, but if those are your rules than it shouldn't matter that he "doesn't like it." Be consistent, and eventually he will move on to something else.
After a few weeks, maybe you can come up with a compromise. My son also loves video games and can play for hours (my husband too!) When he was younger I decided to let him play as much as he wanted on the weekend, but not at all during the week. I found it worked better than the two hours a day approach because I wasn't constantly having to police him every day.

When I was younger my mom made sure all of my games were appropriate, nothing over E10+ unless it was a special exception (I love Catwoman and the Catwoman game is rated T, I was 12 at the time, oh and they never minded hunting games) and how much time I got to play was reflected by my grades

A= +30 minutes
B= +15 Minutes
C= None added or taken away
D= - 15 minutes
F= - 30 minutes

So lets go off my last report card, since its on my desk
Phys Ed= A
Science = B
Geometry = D
English = C
Art 2 = A
Photography = A
History= C

So the three As would be an hour and a half, plus my B so theres an hour and 45 minutes, but oh wait I got a D so its back to an hour and a half. I would get an hour and a half a day.
During the summer my mom just wanted me outside when it wasn't to hot, and as soon as it got dark I could come in and play as much as I'd like, permitted I also hadn't had an attitude. We also only had one TV, so when someone's show was comming on, I had to get off and could play again when the show was over.
Oh and this didn't apply on the weekends (unless I had an F) either, but your the mom so you know whats best. Maybe you could do a reward system similar to this so he has some sort of feeling of control?

Oh and a call from the school about behavior (I have rage issues) usually meant all time was taken away, unless my mother felt the other child really started it or hit a sore spot with me.
Oh and video games arn't all bad, they were a huge inspiration to me drawing wise, and I hope to be a video game designer once I'm out of school.
As for the friend thing I don't know what to say, all my friends at that age thought I was weird for playing games lol

you need to set the rules. and it will hurt you more than it will hurt him. at least for the first week. but stand strong and tell him half hour a day or whatever your agreement on time is. and stick to it. if he wants to earn more time he has to do whatever you think is appropriate. I nanny for a family. the kids get a half hour a day of screen time. that means one half hour total split between tv/video game/ computer. thats it. if they want more they can earn it by doing extra chores and reading. and it is half hour of extra work gets them an extra 5 minutes of time on screen. you are the boss. its turned into a game and he is winning. the whining won't stop unless you stop giving in. for now he knows that it will win. good luck

I have an 8 year old game junkie too. He would seriously sit on it all day.
I have a summer link book, which is school work for the summer, he has to do 7 worksheets, then he can play for 2 hours. if he does more worksheets, he can play a little more in the evening. It is way to hot to play outside here at the moment, so I am not being to hard on him.
He plays command and conquer which is a war game E10