Hello all you wonderful mothers out there. I need a little bit of help. My nine year old son has recently become obsessed with video games! He's always liked them but recently it seems like that's all he wants to play with. He used to love to play outdoors or with other toys but if he's given the choice he will always want to play the playstation or xbox. I would like to enforce some kind of schedule that allows him to play his games but also to get him back playing outside or with non video game toys. I recently had a friend who says she doesn't allow her son to play video games during the week at all; only on the weekends. I don't believe that I need something that drastic; my son is a banner roll student who does not give me a moment of trouble. He is very well behaved and uses his manners all the time. Can some of you moms tell me what works for you? What amount of time do you allow your child each day and maybe if you use extra time playing video games as an incentive for great behavior. Thank you in advance.
I always know as soon as I post a question I know I will get the help I need from this site. Thanks to all the wonderful moms who took the time to help me. I have decided that we will do 30 minutes on weekdays and he will get rewarded with extra time on the weekends or holidays by completing his chores. We tried the thirty minute limit today and it worked really well.
Mine get 30 mins a day and have to earn extra video game time. They earn points by doing chores and they must give me 25pts to have 30 mins of extra game time.
But they dont' get to play everyday and only if chores are done first,
I have never had a strict time limit but my son did a different sport every season so w/ practices, games, matches, boy scouts, etc, he didn't have a lot of game time (sometimes he did but not every day).
One idea could be no video games until ALL homework is done. Then, for every 1/2 hour of video gaming, a non-video game/electronics activity is required (reading could be one of them if he likes reading or if he needs more practice). For extra non-electronic activies during the week, he could earn extra gaming time for the weekend (such as if he chooses non-video gaming activities during the week, he earns that extra vg time for the weekend).
my boys are still young but i know that this will be a big issue when they get older. their father is a video game nerd. my boys are 18 months and 3 and they already have a vsmile baby, a vsmile, and a vflash. they are set till they are 10. we also let them run around on games like kingdom hearts. my big thing though is educational. all the games that are theirs are designed for them to learn. i would not let him until all homework is done. also see if you can get him educational video games and games that make him move around. the wii is great for that. i would set limits to each type of game they play. i would also only let him play the regular video games after he has played at least one of the other type.
We have video game free days - Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. And on the weekdays he is allowed to play them it is just for an hour (after homework is done). This works well for us! Our son is so used to the rule about the video game free days and does not ever bug us to play video games. He just goes and plays with his legos or goes outside or asks to have a friend over. Try something like this and see if it feels better. I will say that our son still seems to be addicted though...he just loves his video games. sigh.
Since you are in a warm area I would say that an hour after school would be good, or after dinner before bed. Getting into the game and getting leveled up can take some time. Perhaps as soon as his homework is done he can play until Xpm. That way if he gets it done quicker he gets more time. Of course the homework should be checked by an adult to make sure it didn't get crammed in the backpack half way done...lol.
I have a 16, 13 & soon to be 12 yr old here, the 16yr old struggles @ school, the 13yr old is & alwayz has been A-B student, the youngest is in school for the socialization 1st & education 2nd but manages to stay in the A-B-C range. They are all great kidz who LOVE their games. They are only allowed to play video games & answer e-mail on the wknd., if they want to play educational games that's cool once their chores & HW is done (if HW requires the internet then they can be on) the family computer is where I & my DH can see what they are doing @ any given time. Weekends are gaming time as long as it doesn't get ridiculous as they play online with other people via a microphone. They still get outside time with friends, pets.
That is what works in our home. The worst punishment in the world is to lose your gaming privileges so that is my weapon of choice when they need to be 'punished' for something.
I have to say I agree with your friend. My daughter can only play her video games Sat and Sunday morning or on holidays/days off school. I put her in after school activites twice a week to keep her out and active. She gets to pick the activities but if it turns out she doesn't like it then she must finish the session before trying somethng else. But I feel she needs to do something and I tell her so.
During the week, mind you we homeschool so his work is done by dinner, he get's one hour. If it's a new game and it's the weekend, I will allow more time and he can earn time sometimes with extra chores. Our doctor precribes one hour of video games or TV per day. That is tough, but probably a good idea.
My neighbors son is 9... He LOVES video games.. He's an amazing kid! Great manners, respectful, smart (sounds a lot like your son)... His parents decided that as soon as he got home from school, he'd do his homework, then after for 30-45 minutes, he can play video games during the week... On the weekends, he can play whenever....
PS during the week, they set a timer.. It's worked out perfectly for them.. After the bell goes off, he has to go outside to play...
My kids just got a bunch of video games for Christmas, so this past month they've been playing the Wii a lot more than usual (plus it's mostly been too cold or rainy to go outside much). However, we're starting to normalize again and get back into our regular routine. My older boys are 7 & 5, and they really only have about 1/2 hour of time after school that's available to play the Wii. Right after school they have an hour to eat a snack and play, anything but TV, video or computer games. If it's nice, they go outside. If not, they have a playroom, the garage, or anywhere in the house really. At 4 my 7 yr old does homework while I cook dinner. We eat between 5-5:30 and finish 5:30-6. That leaves 1-1.5 hours before we start getting ready for bed (we start early at 7). First the boys have to do their chores, then they can play video games for 1/2 hour. If there's extra time before 7pm, we play a board game, or read (in addition to regular bedtime stories), or they play together. Sometimes they will get extra video game time for good beahvior, and frequently they also lose their video game time for less than good behavior. Sometimes if it's bad weather and I'm feeling lazy they get to play the Wii right after school. Honestly, we'll sometimes go for days without any video games, and then there are those days they play all day. I think it all balances out in the end.
We've tried doing time limits or day limits, and found they REALLY didn't work for us. They might work for a little while, but then they crash and burn.
Kablam!
Instead of it being more time doing other things... he wouldn't WANT to do those other things because it might cut into his time. Sematics didnt help either. I could say UP TO or MAX OF ______, and that was his hard set limit. Sort of like speed limits. NO ONE drives 10mph on a 60mph freeway, or 20 in a 45 (well, almost no one). If I said x hours, then durn it, he was going to spend x hours!!! We went from some days with no games at all to "madated i SHALL be playing!"
Weekends reeeeally didn't work, because that's when sports games, concerts, playdates, birthday parties, etc. happen. "But it's my day to do ________!!!!! I don't get to play/build/work all WEEK! This is MY time to play/build/work!!!"
We've tried a couple different things, but in our house, the original method works best:
- Ask before you can play
- When it's time to pop off, you do it with a good attitude (and don't pester about more/more/more... or you lose it for the rest of the day and all of the next. Keep it up and lose it for a week, 2 weeks, 1 month. Ditto for sneaking.
We also have 1 dedicated Mom&Movies till Midnight day. Starting after dinner we watch movies or play games all evening. ((First off, we homeschool, so late nights aren't a big deal in our house... secondly, he's on meds right now that make midnight "early". Oy. But we've had this since before those blessed/cursed steroids.)) The night time smorgasboard works great for us... because there's nothing he's missing out on at night.
Now... as I've said... we homeschool, so our days look VERY different from awayschoolers to start off with, and then these meds "give" us an extra 4 hours to fill. We used to have 12-14 hours to fill in a day, we now have 16-18.
On average we spend 2-4 hours in school
6-10 hours doing active things
4-6 hours doing electronic things
The numbers obviously don't add up because there's a range, and sometimes they overlap.
As the "benefit for good behavior"... that's ALL IN THE ASKING.
"Mom, can I play xbox/minecraft/etc.?"
"Have you __________ yet?"
"No."
"Well then get ________ done, and then absolutely :)"
Or if he's just stellar in something... I tell him as a reward he can go do his games for a bit.
"Awesome kiddo! Great job! Since you just rocked that, if you want some extra time on the xbox-" ((I never even have time to finish that statement.))
I ALSO do other rewards. "Awesome! Thank you so much! We've got extra time so do you want to head down to the park/ bookstore/ grab a cone/ etc."
