Very Attached 2 Year Old!!

Your 2-year-old son doesn't "allow" your husband in the bed? Is that not pretty indicative of the problem? There's not really any way to give my opinion and not sound harsh, so I'll just say it. Quit letting your son parent you. YOU are the parent.

My daughter (now 3) was a lot like this...super attached to me! She still is a mommy's girl. We helped her get better at this by not letting her get her way. At times we have dad give her a bath or put her to bed (I'd actually leave the house to take the dog for a walk or run an errand or whatever). We don't let her dictate where she sleeps even if it means looong drawn out temper tantrums. We just are firm and kind and eventually she gives in or gets exhausted. Daddy also will take her on outings just the two of them. She will help him grocery shop or run to the hardware store. If your son is that attached to you just make sure you are gone at times so that he cannot always go to you. He needs more bonding time with dad (or grandma, or grandpa). Go out with some friends for a dessert. Or go take a jog. Have dad take him to the library on the weekends. He will get better. Our daughter did!

What you did that was wrong was allow him to take over the household. He won't "allow" your husband in the bed? Sorry, K., this is all your fault.

Time for some tough love. Put his crib mattress on the floor and tell him that he has to sleep on it. No, he cannot come in the bed. Yes, Daddy is sleeping in the bed. If he has a fit, ignore him. Warn your husband and make sure that he ignores him too. No yelling at him, no cajoling him, no talking to him. Just ignoring him and NOT allowing him in your bed, only on his mattress on the floor.

It's going to take a good while to institute this change. You have let him rule the roost, and now you have to pay the price. Don't give in. DON'T let him in the bed and don't let your husband leave. Go to bed earlier if he cries for a long time so that you and your husband end up getting enough sleep.

Once you have him actually sleeping on the mattress, eventually move the mattress closer to the door. In a few months, move it into his bedroom. Keep your door open. He'll keep coming back in, but you need to walk him back in his room over and over and over for a while until he finally stops coming in your room. DON'T lay down with him. Ever.

If you can separate from him at nighttime, it will be easier to separate from him in the daytime. Start with nighttime.

Don't ever let your kids come between you and your husband. If you put your kids before your husband, they will not respect your husband. He will just be in the role of moneymaker in the family if you do this. It's a very bad example for your teenagers, quite frankly.

As he gets a little older, he may become more independent. If this continues during the day, you need to stop jumping at every demand of his and tell him "Please wait a minute, honey." He has to learn that he is not the center of the universe. It's your job to lovingly but firmly teach him that.

Dawn

ADD: Re the sleeping thing - I hear you. My hubby was out of town a lot this past year. What helps is to have a "real" bed in the kids room, even if it's just a twin mattress on the floor so they don't roll out too far. That way, YOU can snuggle comfortably but in HIS room and HIS bed. Keeps the interference down. Sometimes you'll fall asleep with him, but it makes the time with hubby 80% as opposed to 20% cause the kiddo is used to being in the grownup bed.

ORIGINAL: Has something major changed for you or him? I could see him getting wacky if something changed 3 months ago and he's acting out from that. Then you have to deal with that issue and help him feel safe without letting him turn your life and home and family upside-down.

You are the mommy and you have to set boundaries. You may need some parenting classes. He has a different personality from your others, but you can't let him run ragged over you. YOU are the MOM. But your language of your family "not allowed" by a 2 year old shows that you're giving him a LOT of control over your life.

If he's just getting his way and there hasn't been some sort of traumatic change, then you're going to have to put up with him crying and having a fit for not getting his way. Put him to bed in his room. Stay with him if you like while he adjusts. Get a chair near his crib and sit with him as he falls asleep. He'll feel safe, and you won't feel guilty. Get him used to his bed and his room again. Tell him that YOUR bed is YOUR AND DADDY's bed and that you only share it with the kiddos.

Ahhh, yes. There are lots of great suggestions here. They won't get done until you implement them. Boys are harder to get to self soothe. Then there is just a personality that is not as compliant as your girls. Boys are pretty needy, sometimes! He also knows how to push your buttons. Take a min to think. Is he going to break if he doesn't get his way..no. He will be louder, more insistent, bossy, break your heart cute and more demanding than your girls, but no, he won't break.

He needs you to be top dog. Believe me, this is nothing compared to three yrs old. Do you remember all those times you saw little boys with their moms and you just didn't know why they couldn't just behave themselves like your girls? This is why. He won't behave till you make him. Get some books on little boys and parenting style. Pick what works with him.

When my 2yo makes demands that I don't consider an option, I tell him no. He might cry for a little bit, but he settles down. He believes that I mean it. I speak to him calmly and firmly, and I look him in the eye. I give him a hug and a kiss and keep it moving. He is super attached to both of us.

I can't imagine my son putting my husband out of his own bed. Just last night, he wanted my husband to get up and take him into the other room, and my husband matter-of-factly said, "No, I'm not getting up. I'm gone to bed." Baby didn't love that, but he had no choice in that outcome.

I don't know how to tell you to get him out of your bed, as we have not done that. You do need to learn how to say no, though. A calm, firm, "I love you, Honey, but Mommy's not gonna do that" no.

I think I was my son's security blanket until he was nearly 4 and then he dumped me. I was more than fine being dumped. He was just a Mama's boy. He hid under the back of my shirt when anyone he wasn't comfortable with came to near. He slept in our bed and came to me for everything. He now is 13. He teaches classes to other kids in 4H and some of the kids are much older. He spends weeks at his Grandparents house and enjoys hanging out with friends of all ages. I wouldn't worry. Just wait until his Dad comes home. I bet anything he dumps you.