Venting and Confessing

i'm not perfect either.
but i don't love all other mothers, or all other parenting styles.
so when questions get asked, i answer 'em honestly. and not always with love.
it's not about judgment or one-upping or competition or ego. but not all answers are or should be supportive and loving.
khairete
S.

Rock on P.! I am right there with you. I think most of us are. I think we are way more likely to get all judgemental on each other when we dont know each other and we are not talking face to face. Its easy to be sharp and judgemental online when you dont know the person and have the computer screen to hide behind.

Oh, and my son ate Lucky Charms for breakfast today. Straight out of the box while sitting on my bed watching a TV show while I took a shower :)

WOW, Mom2KCK, if you were bashed for hotdogs, cant wait to see what they will say about me, yesterday my daughter had homemade donuts for breakfast, top ramen for lunch a hot dog before practice and another hot dog when she got home, 2 in one day!

Yes lately my kids get up before me and today they and their friends got up at 7am~! I fed them and fell back asleep!

You put a smile on my face. There are days when I want to go jump in the car and drive off. There are mornings that my son has eaten Goldfish crackers for breakfast. TV is definitely a good babysitter. And yes I am looking forward to when my oldest goes back to school so I can have a little peace and quiet. You are not alone. We as moms need to stop judging each other and stop the competition. I find that the most judgmental people are the most insecure.

"Well I was born an original sinner
I was born from original sin.
And if I had a dollar bill
For all the things I've done
They're'd be a mountain of money
Piled up to my chin.
HEY!"
-Eurythmics

And still, I ASPIRE to be like Mary. And I'll KEEP trying to get it right til the day I die.

It's all in a day's work for a mother.

:)

i think most of the judgement is because the thing we are most passionate about is our kids. Jealousy, guilt, and living in denial comes with all things people are passionate about so I assume with the amount of love we have for our kids it makes us all loons at times=)

Pshhhhh you're I'm not perfect list is all things we should do to enjoy our kids at times=)
-cupcakes for breakfast on occassion---woohooo no fighting in the morning to get her to eat
-we jump on the couch, the bed, and jump from one piece of furniture to another, oh and she jumps off furniture to us---shes 5, i assume this will stop when she's big enough to hurt the furniture
oh and i put her cheap mattress under the couch and she has loads of fun jumping from one to the other
-if your kid sleeps over my house, i can promise they will return worn out and dirty from playing in the river
-I yell, give mean looks, and am J. plain bitchy at times
I am human=)
-i ussually hate being inside and the tv but on saturday mornigs she makes up for that while i sleep=)

I am woman
hear M. roar=)

I'm with you! I don't judge other moms for how they chose to raise their kids...as long as those kids are happy, who cares?!

I cracked up when i read that you have forgot about your kid in timeout! Lol...I'm so glad I'm not the only one! My daughter was in timeout and was being super quiet, so I just didn't think about it! My hubby finally asks me if she has been there long enough! We had quite a good laugh at that one!

Yesterday was just a BAD day! I have an 11 month old who gets pretty cranky when a new tooth is coming in and a 7 year old who decided to throw her first ever tantrum! Good Lord! And my hubby had a work dinner, so was home late! Ahhhhh!! He was great and stopped to get me hot fudge for some ice cream!

I love being a mom and I think I'm good at it! And I wouldn't change anything...my kids are very happy and healthy and that's all that matters!

I once said of homeschooling, I could never do it, if I did my kids would be 18 and have a kindergarten education. I was promptly ripped a new one for being so insulting to homeschooling mom. I had no idea it was insulting to say people do something that I simply lack the self discipline to do.

Pretty much said you are better than me, how rude of me! :p

That is in a nutshell why you see what you do. You have those that really do want to personally attack people, you have others that want to see everything as a personal attack, still others who don't see their personal attacks as personal attacks.

I remember when I was first a mom. I breastfed which my mom attacked me for because I was saying she was a bad mom! My kids like me have ADHD so rather than have the life I had I put them on meds, again I was attacking her choices as a mother! I could go on but my point is somewhere along the way people have come to see different choices as attacks on their choices. My mom was bi polar and a mess, not sure what drives everyone else. :(

My favorite argument that vaccinations do not cause autism is that my autistic child didn't have his 12 months shots until he was almost two because like you I kept missing the appointments.

None of us are perfect and those that claim to be are either crazy or liers.

I am glad you posted this. My confession - by Sunday afternoon (hell, sometimes saturday afternoon) I am looking forward to my 45 minute commute to work on Monday mornings!!!!!!
I feel so awfully guilty about that!!!

I needed to read this today - I'm having an emotionally rough day today.

Go girl! Lol
I'll bet your kids are lived and happy.
There are days I walk through my living room (since our large FURRY dog passed) and think "I can't even REMEMBER vacuuming in here last!"

I have given my kid leftover Chinese for breakfast.

Thank you for the encouragement! I needed that today.

Sounds normal to me! :)

PS: I am one of those homeschooling moms and I don't fit the mold either. I'm divorced, re-married, and a professional. I detest cooking and keeping house but have been doing it for 10+ years now. Sigh. But like you, I'm nuts about my kids.

Thank you! I needed this today. It's nice knowing I'm not the only one. For breakfast I let my son eat from the graham cracker package I left out last night because I was too lazy to put it away. Oh the horror, oh the humanity!

You are doing great. I think we have all had days like this. Mine are all grown and gone. All have jobs, take care of their kids, pay their bills --- none have a police record.

I feel that parenting is the only job you will ever do where the end results of your job are not seen for years. If your kids do not become serial killers I feel we did a good job.

And yes I agree that some days there is way too much bashing here. I guess being an older Mom (57) my education was different. I think some of the questions here are silly. And I think to myself 'how could this mom not know this' but then again I realize that many of the moms here never learned how to cook or sew or clean or first aid. And that's why us Moms who did learn this stuff are here to help those who didn't.

As perfect as we all WANT to be, because we are not!, we are all like this! You rock on P. for being able to stand up and say yeah I screw up but my kids wouldn't have me any other way!!!

You sound like a damn good mom to me! ( can I have a cupcake too?)

Yep! That's me!!

I even feed my kids hot dogs. Gasp! I was bashed on here for that one time :).

I like you!

My daughter came up for the weekend and it was chaotic to say the least. She is a good mom now and really trying but I was super cranky.

I had Pillsbury Orange Rolls for breakfast on Sunday because I just did not want to cook. My house was in the 80's the rest of the day though so I paid a price...

We had TV dinners for dinner and left over spaghetti hamburger helper for dinner. I didn't cook all day.

Your post has made me smile.

I love you, P. S.

Will you be my friend in real life too!!

Real reality TV. Confessions of a Mom.
I am with you all the way. And yes, sometimes I do want to run away to a desserted island for a couple of weeks. Would I miss my kids? If course, like crazy!! but, dag nab it, sometimes, just sometimes AGGHHHAHHAHHHHrgh. They drive me NUTS.
My older kids have not been to the doc this year. And school starts next week. At least it is not required for this year. I am usually the one that gets them in every year. On time. They are past due a month at least for dentist. And I tell them if they get a cavity, they are paying for it.

P., I will admit that I never knew that women were judgmental about all these parenting issues until I came on Mamapedia. Good heavens, the things people say! I've seen just the kind of thing that Jo W. is talking about. I can't tell you how many nasty comments regarding nursing and circumcision have been removed for flaming.

Anyway, I can't remember if I've given cupcakes for breakfast or not, but when I was trying to sell my house and my husband was working 14 hours away in another state, I put my kids in the car (inside the garage) to feed them breakfast so that I wouldn't dirty up the kitchen before going off to work and taking them to daycare. Fed 'em muffins. It was easier to clean the car out when I could get around to it!

Dawn

this post made me smile

Hi, P.:
Thanks for being honest. That is the only way to effect change.
One thing is:
You need to obtain an appointment book
that has columns for all the family members.
At a glance on line has them.

After you get everyone's schedule and appointments placed in their columns,
put in times for meals.

Make a menu place for your breakfast lunch and dinner and put it on the fridge.
The children don't need braces right this minute.
From what you are saying, the children are running your life. Get a schedule, stick to it. If something has to go then it has to go.
Society is pushing mom's of today to be the best.
Talk to some women who lived in the 40's and 50's and see how they lived.
We have forgotten how to live a simple life.
Again, thanks for being honest and real.
Hope this helps.
All the best.
D.

Thank you! :-) I love this. It made me smile.

smiles all the way.....

I don't have kids but I watch my sis and friends with their kids so I feel qualified to pass judgment :)

You do what works for you and your family that is within the bounds of societies' standards. (I am sorry, I can't cope with some of the weird parenting styles that have been endorsed by celebrities- ie chewing your kids' food first..) People are different so each parenting style is bound to be different. Each parenting style will have good and bad - none of them are perfect. The point is to do everything in moderation. As an adult, even I need pj days. However, you can't spend a month in pjs (as much as I would like to sometimes) My only comment is if your child is a holy terror maybe you need to rethink your parenting style. A friend's child is CONSTANTLY (not just a few days here and there or even just in my presence) tearing things apart, not listening to day school teachers, etc. Her only, comment, "Oh, that's my whirlwind". For the rest of us, please rethink your parenting style- its not working.

I'm pretty sure my kids had pringles and mini marshmallows for breakfast because that's what I gave them when I got back from the grocery store this morning... then the confess they didn't eat any of the homemade scramble their dad made them and that's why they were hungry. Its all good I gave them the golden Graham's for lunch so it worked out just not in the right order.

Is there a perfect mom out there? What is a perfect mom anyway? Some of the time we come to this conclusion that we should be something other than what we are, that the other moms out there are doing a better job than us. That is why when a woman approached me when I was travelling via Amtrak from DC to Williamsburg with my four kids (aged 9, 11, 14, and 15), and told me that I have such well behaved children, I was so totally in shock. I stammered a blushing thanks, and gave myself a pat on the back. Am I perfect? No, I just try to be the mom that my children need. And I try hard.That's all we can do.

honey, look, a child does not need the perfect mother, they need a MOM, someone who will feed them, burp them, change their bottom, keep them clothed and sheltered from lifes many storms, is it easy, NO, but it were easy everyone would do it. even with just one tot, its a 24 hour worry fest, you never get to go to the bathroom by yourself, the apartment looks like the back room of toys are us, and forget about getting out of the apartment in a timely fashion, its not happening. the minute you sit down, they are smiling and squirming to come and sit with you. would i trade my drool filled life with anyone, no, afraid not.
K. h.

You sound like my kinda M.! lol

I bottle fed and breast fed my babies! lol

child one: bottle fed
Child two: breast and bottle
Child three: all breast!
And P. of it! lol

Aaaaaaaaaah, so refreshing. Needed it today. My oldest has had a nasty cold for three weeks, doc said no worries, it will go away. So this morning my son is vomiting his guts out! Poor thing. Yes, Disney Jr. is on TV, probably for the rest of the day so I can take care of him and do the dishes. And the youngest is also watching TV. It's her second hour already today. I haven't taken a shower because that half hour of sleep was more important. Bad mommy! Thanks for the laughs.
=)

Honey,, you are human!! Welcome to the world baby!! First of all,, speaking as a mom myself, you do not have to explain anything to us. I am so sure, that if you pull the covers back on these "so-called" perfect parents, you will see some things that would mortify you. And even that , is not our business to judge. Everyone is different , and does this differently. Not wrong, just different. I would say that YOU are a perfect mom----because you are doing YOUR best !! I am sure that the cupcake your son had for breakfast was the best to him, and in his eyes, his mom is so cool, that she allowed me to have a cupcake today for breakfast!!! Don't be so hard on yourself. I know if given an opportunity, I can come up with a laundry list of things that I don' t do that is right, however, the world still goes around. You are a good mom, don't doubt that!! And I am sure your children would agree!! Inadequate feelings and all!!!

You totally had me laughing out loud! Frankly, I don't think any of us are perfect...nor do I expect us to be. All I can do is try to be the best Mommy I can be each day. Some days are better than others, that's for sure. But in the end all I hope and pray for is that our girls will know in their hearts that Mommy loved them more than life itself. Yes, they may remember that Mommy too can have a bad day and puts herself in time out! That's ok too. I want them to have a realistic expectation of what Motherhood is all about. As the saying goes "It ain't all sunshine and roses but it ain't all bad either."

It is very easy for any/all of us to sit back and ponder a question posed on here. Our response on here is "our best practices"...not necessarily what would happen in the heat of the moment when your caught off guard by a situation. Of course when we have time to actually think about what we would have done when our 3 y/o shoved a lego up his nose is way different than the hysteria that would naturally ensue in the actual event.

I tend to read everyone's comments with a grain of salt keeping in mind that we're all just trying to do our best as Moms. Some on here come off way harsh at times and others do sound a bit condescending, however it's hard to know exactly what you "sound" like when composing an answer. I tend to give the benefit of the doubt to most people unless they are clearly being B****y.

I wish you a happy imperfect day :)

Peace and Blessings,
T. B.

I hope you served some ice cream with that cupcake!