First Thoughts When Someone Says "Homeschool"

Updated on July 17, 2013
J.G. asks from Chicago, IL
51 answers

I'm curious what people think when someone tells them she is homeschooling...What prejudgments come to mind?

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone!

My first experience with homeschooling was during grad school. I kept getting these remarkable students that were all homeschooled. They could actually write, think and construct an argument! I was impressed.

Then when a lot of my friends started sending their kids off to school at 21 months, it dawned on me that there was no way my kids were going to preschool. Hubby wasn't sold on the homeschool thing, but he quickly became a supporter once he starter to see the results of my weird, unschooling approach. He was also familiar with the research on play-based approaches to education till age 7 or 8.

We are homeschooling because any education that is truly worth anything is self-directed. We are also homeschooling because the primary function of schools (why they were started) was to socialize and discipline. I want my children to continue being the curious creatures they are, without feeling the crush of normalization, and without regard for serving some larger purpose than education and learning itself.

I'm actually amazed by the diversity of the homeschool population. There are lots of folks like me, atheists or agnostic, educated, financially well-off enough to provide their kids with lots of fun educational adventures and travel, and then there are large families that are poor and happy. It's such a great eclectic mix that my kids are sure to encounter all varieties of people by homeschooling. We have even recently become friends with a same-sex parenting family. They are definitely not sheltered! !

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N.W.

answers from Eugene on

Kids with bare feet and parents with no teeth.

That's what one man on an airplane told me he thought of people who homeschool. He didn't know that I homeschooled my kids til I told him. And one of them was sitting next to us on the plane. She was smart and polite and he had a nice conversation with her. Perhaps that changed his opinion a little bit. Plus, she was wearing shoes and I have all my teeth.

23 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Honestly?
Religious, overprotective, controlling.
I know that homeschooling can and does work for many families, but it certainly takes a high level of commitment on the parent's part.
I think educating kids at home to give them the best possible experience is a noble thing. But I think doing it to shelter them from outside opinions, viewpoints and experiences is not only wrong but detrimental to their development as a person and a citizen.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Arrogant.
I find it very arrogant when some women become mothers they suddenly become "experts" on everything, education and medical care especially. Teachers (and doctors) are specifically trained, for years, to do their jobs, and they also continue training and learning throughout their careers.
Unless I lived within a really bad school district, or had a child with very specific, special needs, I would never home school. I prefer my kids be taught by trained professionals.

13 moms found this helpful

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I'm surprised that there are so many with positive views of homeschooling. Any time I've made friends with homeschoolers, I've felt incredibly judged for choosing to take advantage of public schools and been made to feel guilty as if I'm not doing what's best for my children.

Several of my eldest daughter's friends were homeschooled but begged their moms to be allowed to go to public middle school. They haven't told very many children or other parents that they've been homeschooled. I'd love to say that they're all doing great socially, but they're not. They're awkward and bullied a lot, until my daughter and her friends take them under their wing.

One friend in particular, a boy "Z" and his mother "S" are close to my daughter so I have to spend significant time around them. S is incredibly judgmental. I try to talk about the kids, what they do at school, extra curricular activities... she'd rather talk about the good ole' days of homeschooling and how inferior public school is. She complains about how she HAD to homeschool Z because his doctor insisted he be evaluated when he started doing very poorly socially and in school as early as kindergarten. He tested as having Autism with global learning disorders and delays. The school's evaluation backed up that diagnosis. She had a hissy fit and pulled him from school. She didn't want him to be stigmatized with a diagnosis, didn't want any services from the school, and because the school wanted to help him she pulled him out.

When it came time for middle school he finally said "no" and wanted to attend classes with other kids. He's two full years older than all of the kids in his grade. He tested two years behind in grade level. His mother was shocked, thinking he was extremely advanced. She refuses to tell this school about his previous diagnosis for Autism in case they want to help him too. She'd rather he never know about the diagnosis and she gets to ignore it. She's shocked that I "accepted the diagnosis" for my middle daughter and accepted an ADHD diagnosis for my eldest.

In real life, that's very common around here... situations like this with Z and S. When these kids take the high school exams to see if they've earned their diplomas, they're shocked when they find out that they're a couple of years behind. I've never met a single real life homeschooler that was advanced over private schoolers or public schoolers.

So what's my first thought? Disillusioned. Heart's in the right place, but disillusioned.

15 moms found this helpful

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Wow, some of these are so harsh. I have 3 kids, all have been in public schools until this year. We have decided to "homeschool" our 13 yo who is going into 8th grade. She has Asperger's and ADD and had a VERY hard time adjusting to 7 different teachers last year. So half way through the year, we started chatting about homeschooling her and decided we could do it since I was home anyway. Our other 2 will continue to go to public school (they are 10 and 17 <special needs>). I never thought I could be "smart enough" to homeschool. In reality, and mostly because our daughter is older and can work independently, there are programs that are very detailed, easy to use and organize and have online support. My husband and I went to a convention for homeschooling and learned so much. There are complete sets of material you can purchase from various vendors to use. There are also local "social" groups to get the kids together, as well as archery (my daughter is so excited to do this), swim, PE, music, crafts and really anything you can think of. We are also VERY active in church so she has friends she sees from there several times per week as well. My daughter has always gotten A's and B's but needs extra help in math. The public school moves through math so quickly, she isn't able to keep up. So the extra time we can spend at home should help her with it without it being after a long day at school. When the kids were in school, we had a standard schedule we stuck to every.single.day. That way, they know exactly what to expect. I plan to do the same with the days that we are home together. I also plan on her learning how to shop and look for deals and read labels as well as cooking dinner every day and cleaning the house on a schedule with the rest of the family pitching in. I think the people who don't really understand homeschooling and have such harsh opinions of it should maybe do some research on it.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

I think "Cool, can she give me any advice?"

We homeschool, along with many others in our community. My daughter is smart, well-adjusted, very social, has the ability to communicate and get along with people of ALL ages, from very young children, to children her own age, to adults and elderly.

I would say that public/private schools ATTEMPT to teach children many things but definitely not ALL the children graduate with those skills! Same with homeschool. I would not blame public school if I sent my child there and she was not able to "get out the door at a certain time" because certainly there are many adults who went to public/private schools and they are always late!

And not every child who goes to public school is socially adept!

So I don't blame homeschoolers if their children are less than perfect as well! Even though we do get more flack if our children don't "measure up" because certainly it is our fault!

I graduated from high school, and my diploma means that I mastered everything that was needed. I even graduated with As and Bs so it means I REALLY mastered it. So that means I am qualified to pass my knowledge on to my child. Unless my diploma is bogus and it DOESN'T mean I mastered it, and in that case, why would I want my child to get a bogus diploma?

I don't "look down" on those who send their kids to public/private school. I just assume it works for them, the way homeschooling works for us. I don't group public schooled kids into some kind of stereotype, that would be very uneducated of me.

So when people group homeschoolers into a stereotype, I just figure they are very uneducated themeslves about what homeschooling really is, and what real homeschoolers are like. And then I feel sad for them.

The idea that we "shelter" our kids? HA! I wish I was home enough to shelter them! We are constantly out and about, experiencing life and the world. Along with most of the other homeschooling families I know!

I know many wonderful, smart and social public schooled children and adults. And I know many wonderful smart and social homeschooled kids and adults. I'm glad to know them all.

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C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I will be honest. If you'd asked me this question a few years ago, I'd have said they're religious nutcases.

For the record, I'm now eating my words, because I just pulled my two girls out of public school, and we will be homeschooling next year. The reason I made this decision is that both of my girls have always had straight As, yet they're really not challenged. This past year, my fifth grader knew more than her teacher about pre-algebra. (Yes, really.) Sadly, our district cut all of the gifted and talented classrooms several years ago, and with all of the focus on "no child left behind," there will never be any focus on above-average students. All of the energy goes toward helping the below-average students become average. So... we will be homeschooling in order to provide the kids with more of a challenge, and allow them to work at their own pace (which tends to be a lot faster than their classes could move in public school).

In really getting involved in our local homeschooling community, I've been surprised to find so many families just like us. My perceptions of homeschooling have really changed.

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M.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

Im seriously considering homeschooling.

My main thing is that public schools have become so PC, over crowded, and under funded. I don't want my DD to get lost in the shuffle, simply because the schools don't have the resources needed, and teaching has become such a thankless job that it is hard to find those special teachers who still care.

I'm thinking about trying to find some like-minded mothers, and forming a homeschooling co-op sort of thing... So that our children can still learn with peers, and be able to learn to accept authority from people other than their parents.

There are so many resources out there for mothers who would like to go this route, including online tutors to cover subjects e parents don't feel comfortable teaching.

ETA... I find it funny how many people automatically assume religion to be the reason for homeschooling... I'm agnostic.

My husband and his siblings were homeschooled as well. Their dad's job took them all over the country, so they rarely stayed in one place long enough to be worth enrolling in the public schools. Hubby got his GED when he was 17, and has NEVER had a problem adjusting to the structure of working. Actually, he has risen through the ranks quite quickly in the jobs he has worked. He never had any social issues either. He has friends who he still keeps in touch with all over the country.

I know I used to have negative preconceived notions of the idea, until I actually educated myself about it a bit. It is starting to look better and better!

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I think of smart kids, advanced kids (homeschoolers usually tend to graduate earlier), some (but not all) are religious.

I was homeschool for some grades. For me, I was actually behind and was about to fail 3rd grade. My mom pulled me out and by the time I was in 7th grade and went back to public schools I had all A's and B's. I think homeschooling is great, but it's not best for everyone.

My mom doesn't have a degree. She only graduated high school and then married my dad when she was 18. But anyone can homeschool. You don't have to have a degree.

Also a lot of people think homeschooled kids don't get enough social interaction. This is not true at all. There are so many programs now and homeschool groups, and city sports. They are not lacking in social skills.

So, in my opinion, homeschooling is a great thing! But it's not great for everyone. For me, it helped me a lot.

ETA:
WOW, I am surprised at how many people here are so negative about homeschooling! Maybe they need to do more research about it first before judging.

12 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

My first thought is, "Wow, I could never be organized enough to do that! Kudos!"

(I say this as a licensed Social Studies teacher. To prepare lessons for ALL subjects is daunting for me. When I taught I just had a few different subjects, and many topics had great crossover. I could only homeschool if I used a thematic approach, but even then I'd feel overwhelmed with getting started).

ETA: I grew up with DOZENS of homeschooled kids, and I can count on one hand the ones who are maladjusted or under-educated.

ETA2: Once again, the level of prejudice and hatred displayed by some here is astounding!

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A.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi J.,
If you had asked me this question 5 years ago, I would have said: "I couldn't do that.....or that requires a lot of patience, and organization!". Now, I proudly say: I am a home schooling mom. I learned that homeschooling is another wonderful choice to educate our children, hard in the sense of balance everything at home and still do everything!
I have no need to judge others who send their children to PS. They have chosen another option and works perfectly well for them; home schooling works for us.
I don't see any problem about choosing one or another option. I do know that home schooling is not for everyone, and there are thousands of reasons to choose this option over sending the kids to PS.
There are well behaved kids, smart kids and kids with disabilities; social kids and introverted kids either in PS or home schooling families, which is nothing to do with the kids being educated at home or in PS. It is just parenting.
I am not a teacher, I am not a fanatic, I have a PhD, I worked hard for many years in a career I loved, I am not a social "prune", I have all my teeth, I love going to the mall and Barnes & Noble. My kids are very independent and well behaved, social and happily healthy, they do have friends, real friends.....We are just a normal family with ups and downs, good and bad moments, and we chose to home school.
You know J., it is just a matter of choosing what you want for your kids, your family, what works for you and make it superb!
A. :)

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

Hard work!! We homeschool, and so when I hear another family is doing it, I just feel encouraged :). It is a HUGE undertaking to be the educator of your children, the main things I think I takes are patience and flexibility :)
*** I also just wanted to add that being a homeschooler takes a thick skin. People are going to think whatever they think good or bad, so be it. I chose to do it, and I feel good about it. When I was young I moved to Mexico for yrs, people didn't get it, oh well. I am white, my husband is black, there will always be those who disapprove, oh well. I think if you homeschool, you should be a proud mom and if you send your kids out to school you should be a proud mom.***

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A.B.

answers from Louisville on

It used to be, "UGH! I would never homeschool in a million years."

Words eaten now, two years ago.

I've seen a lot in the homeschooling community, good and bad. I see families who are crazy-busy involved in extra-curricular activities, volunteer work, etc.. I've seen others who are so paranoid that they will only get involved with people who fit their narrow views. I've seen people who have high school students in advanced college classes and others who can barely read though they are in middle school. There are those who are extremely social and socially well adjusted and others who are, well, just weird. The parents come in many shades from well educated to not even a GED holder; ridiculously overprotective to frighteningly hands-off. Some of the kids seem like perfectly behaved little adults; others are completely out of control. Most are just normal kids.

I have a bachelor's degree; I graduated with a 3.98 GPA from a good university. I spend a lot of time researching and learning myself; I've spent my summer preparing for the next school year and evaluating text books while continuing an abbreviated schedule so my kids stay on top of the core subjects while still enjoying the summer. I give tests (which I grade honestly); require proper grammar, spelling, and handwriting; I have them do reports, projects, and experiments; and I will be having them take state tests from time to time to evaluate progress even though it isn't required legally in my state.

We also do lots of educational field trips, are involved in a local homeschooling group with a lot of variety, and my kids are involved in things like scouts, piano and voice lessons, and the like. We aren't perfect and don't have a house full of perfect little geniuses, but it is my hope that my children can tap into more of their potential by working with them in a way that challenges them. For the most part, they weren't getting that in public school.

I am not arrogant about my abilities; it's a very sobering task to undertake teaching my children, and I don't take it on lightly. It nags me constantly. And I am not judgmental towards people who send their kids to public school; in fact, my siblings all and most of my friends send their kids to public school, and I think they are doing fantastic.

Oddly enough, all of the many homeschoolers I've met--parents and kids alike--have ALL their teeth AND they wear shoes, and we live in the south. Okay, well, that's not entirely true. My 7 year old only has one front tooth. The others are still growing in.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

I say God Bless Mom! I know I could not do it. Done correctly homeschooling allows so much more time for real life learning. I have a few friends who homeschool. These kids are involved in so much. Not even close to being sheltered. They volunteer in third world countries. Bring Christmas gifts, school supplies, etc etc. they are all amazing, well rounded, brilliant, confident children.

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J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

My first thought is good for them.

I have known many homeschooled kids even in my own childhood and they were always the sociable and out going ones. I am sure some kids can get a decent education in public schools but I see that being a rarity now days.

I will be homeschooling my daughter this coming school year. She is more advanced then her classmates and does much better at her pace (she was extremely board in school). We have quite a few homeschooling families that we already know and are looking forward to it.

As an added note I will NEVER send my daughter to any public school. I want her to continue to be a free thinker and not a zombie following the masses.

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

Well I homeschool so hopefully I have positive thoughts, but I will admit that until I felt the need I used to think it was weird.

I actually have no problem with public school, but our district has been struggling. When my older kids went there I LOVED it, great teachers, great staff, just an awesome atmosphere.

Things have changed, they went to longer days, but a shorter week. This would have been awesome for my older kids, but one of my kids has ADD, and one has ADHD. By the end of a normal school day they are bouncing off the walls (unmedicated) and in truth the teacher spent so much time working with my ADD son that I felt it was unfair to her and the other students.

The first year was HARD, so much trial and error. As the years have gone on it is easier. My kids are still required to take state testing, they are (the boys) for the most part just where they need to be. My DD is considered advanced.

There's good and bad in everything.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

My first thought is - are you qualified to teach? I have a B.A. but shouldn't be teaching math to anyone. Why? I'm so not qualified.

Second thought is - those poor kids have no social life and are not learning how to live out there in the real world.

Third - how "granola"

Fourth - arrogance - as if being home all day with you is the best thing you could do for your child.

Fifth - are you really teaching and are the kids learning.

Sixth - Laziness/selfish - Do you do this to stay home and have your kids with you all day?

Sorry, but I don't get homeschooling unless there is a very good reason. But I don't judge. I keep these thoughts to myself unless asked! :)

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

First thought is "are the parents educated enough to teach all subjects?" and second thought is that the kids will not grow up learning the discipline of getting out the door ON TIME everyday and will not learn how to function in a highly structured environment such as the work force; kids won't learn how to deal with the different personalities they will encounter in adulthood.

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

My first thought is "Why on earth would anyone want to do this???" I don't get it at all! I looked forward to the day my kids would head off to school almost as much as my kids looked forward to going off to school. I pay high property taxes to pay for the education my children receive from trained professionals. In Canada we have an excellent educational system with programs no home schooler could provide. I don't know why anyone would want to deprive their kids of these experiences. I loved school and have fond memories of being a student. I really don't get how home schooling prepares students for university or the real world. I certainly don't feel qualified to teach my kids high school chemistry or calculus, and I certainly couldn't teach them to speak fluent French!

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

I used to just wonder skeptically about the movement, since I didn't hear about any hs'er who chose that route for any reason besides protecting their children from being exposed to "scientific" theories.

But over the years, since my husband and I produce science/math books that are popular with homeschoolers, we've had the opportunity to meet ALL kinds of homeschoolers who have adopted our materials. So now I'm just curious about the approach they use, and how well the kids are doing with it.

There are many really amazing families out there (including a young woman who has taken over operation of our non-profit) who are doing right by their kids, no matter the reasons or which of the many "styles" they are using. Many of those kids are extremely high achievers, socially competent, happy and curious about everything, accepted into fine universities. Many of them could rightfully be said to be "unschooled" or "self-taught" because their parents allowed them to direct what they would study, and when they would study it. This includes kids who were not able to read until 4th grade, kids who learned about history and geography from stamp collecting, biology from gardening, and math from cooking, shopping, and designing projects of their choice.

100 years ago, public schools weren't even available for all children. It wasn't until 1918 that elementary schooling was free and compulsory for all U.S. children. Before that, many learned at home or from experience. Some of our greatest statesmen were homeschooled or self-taught.

And of course, there are failures in this alternative system, too, for all sorts of reasons. Just like in public school.

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I think, "Cool!" at first. That's because I know a number of homeschooling families who are doing a fantastic job with it.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

I have several thoughts that will go through my mind:
Oh, their kid may have a disability.
Oh, their kid may have been bullied.
Oh, their kid may be in or cause trouble.
Oh, they are afraid of the real world.
Oh, an overprotective parent.
Oh, their school district must suck.

There are so many reasons parents homeschool now. I teach in a public school and hear all kinds of reasons parents will pull out to homeschool. It has made me less 'judgy' in that area. But a particular lady I know is the only nutty one I've come across. She couldn't handle that her kid was picked on. However, she never informed her 1st grader she wasn't a cat. The young girl would lick the back of her hands, meow and do everything else like a cat. Therefore she got mad when kids picked on her for how she acted. The mom said, if she wants to be a cat, she can be cat. Then I said, you have to expect and accept the bullying b/c she's not a cat!!!!!!!

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Honestly, when someone says "homeschool" I think "A LOT of work!"

My sister homeschools her three boys. They are thriving. She's been doing it for six, maybe seven years now and is gearing up to do it again. She also participates in a Classical Conversations homeschool program as well; she is a 'tutor' there one day a week with other CC homeschool families and does the other four days at home with CC curriculum as part of her taught curriculum.

(ETA: I will say this in regard to 'is mom qualified to teach'.... my sister studies and learns every single thing she teaches to her sons. She spends the summers before the 'school year' learning new things or refining her knowledge on a subject. She studies everything new that she tutors for as well. It's a commitment beyond what I am willing to do, but I am so stinking proud of her for it. She amazes me. Her oldest is 12 and super-bright, and I know that whatever she cannot teach him directly, she will work to provide resources and tutors for.)

I know other people who homeschool who aren't as successful, and I think a lot of it has to do with that parent's ability to organize, educate oneself and their willingness to find support for their kids. There is really a broad spectrum of styles out there, from more supported programs like CC to very loose unschooling families.

At home this summer, we are more or less doing a relaxed homeschool about an hour or so every other day. As a former preschool teacher, I can appreciate how much planning must go into full-time homeschooling to make the most of it. Like so many things, the family gets out of it what they are willing to put into it.

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D..

answers from Miami on

Mom never gets a break...

Well, that's not really my first thought, but I swear, I wonder how you can stand having kids on top of you all day long, LOL!

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I'll be bashed for this I'm sure, but I think it's a little weird. I am "close" with two families who do it. Both families have children who feel they are far superior to everyone else and honestly, they are not.

I also have a lot of respect for them because no way do I have the patience to do that.

Additionally, I wonder if the kids are getting what they need. I'm well educated (undergrad dual degree in economics and finance, and an MBA) and find some of the 4th grade work they do in public schools to be confusing. My mom is a local college professor and she said her homeschooled students are either beyond intelligent or severely lacking in the skills they need to do basic college courses.

So I have mixed feelings about it - but mostly, the two families I know are both a bit off...

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L.B.

answers from New York on

I know some great homeschooling families, and I could see myself doing it, if necessary. I have read quite a few books on homeschooling; my favorite is Susan Wise Bauer. I am a public school teacher, and I know how abysmal our nation's schools can be. All that being said, when I hear the word homeschool, I think of the first person I ever knew who was homeschooled. She was the daughter of a seamstress my mom was using for some alterations when I was a kid in northern New York. She was probably 10-12. Her mom had become a born again Christian and pulled her out of school. Even as a kid I could see how inferior an education this girl was receiving; she was watching some kind of animated Bible video when I first met her and using basic workbooks that contained a lot of busy work. The mom came across as ignorant and uneducated, but she proudly told us she would homeschool her daughter all the way to graduate school. It was disturbing. Homeschooling should be every family's right, but it's right I hope some families won't exercise.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

I think great for you, But there is no way I could have given our daughter the amazing education and all of her great friends and teachers she had all through the years.

She had master teachers that still today adore her and support her. The school community is very close in our neighborhood. We see so many families, we stil all support and cheer our childen on..

She is such a well rounded child from experiencing different teaching styles. There is no way, I would have had that energy, unending enthusiasm and creativity they have from all of the years they have from teaching.

One of my cousins homeschools her 5 children on their farm/ranch. Beautiful, sweet brilliant children. She is super woman to me.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Honestly? I think "oooooh, one of those religious nuts".

That's what I think and yes it's a total prejudgement. But I will say in the past few years, maybe since I had kids of my own, I feel like I am more open minded about homeschooling than I once was.

I am a (semi-retired) teacher so I may be biased and I do see a lot of good things in public school...BUT and here's the big but, with my oldest about to start Kindergarten in a month I am freaking out about all the things that come with public school that I don't want my child involved in, influenced by, etc. that I understand homeschooling on a whole new level! :) But, it still isn't for me.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

My first thought is that I hope the child is getting socialized in other ways and is being taught actual science.

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M.W.

answers from San Francisco on

My first thought is darnit...another really nice and involved family plucked from our public school system.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Beyond, more structured than me, I don't really think anything.

Just an observation but the random homeschoolers I have ran into from time to time seems to find it more interesting than pretty much anyone else does. I mean I have friends that homeschool, they are perfectly normal. Just random people that I have sat by at a game, the mall, just random places, we could be talking about tacos and they say, I homeschool! Okay, how nice for you. Then there are a couple that go on ad nauseam about how great it is and they do so in such a way that it comes off condescending.

They are probably 2% of the whole but damn! like any choice, it is those darn outliers that stick in your head.

So to circle back around to your question, when someone tells me they homeschool, I think they are that 2%.

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Y.G.

answers from Miami on

My first thought, (If I'm being totally honest) is that the children probably have a sheltered life. Also, parents are probably super over protective...
Just being honest :)

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M.L.

answers from Cleveland on

first thought was idiots.

I think it might be affected by what region you live in, i assume down south you migiht have more educated parents, young trendy (as in-- on the bandwagon of hschooling) and transplants that live away from strong family units.

in my area they are the wack jobs that are rebelling against the establishment. barefoot no teeth, tattoos all over, but the world owes them and their exceptional kiddos.

i'm sure that this is a generalization and i would never never say these things in public. but it is very interesting to be able to ask in a more or less anonymous way and answer what really goes through your mind, because as someone else said, maybe by opening up the discussion you can prove to me that that isn't the case.

personally i just don't see the acountability, Is there some way that tracks these kids and makes sure they are actually learning? and i know there are differnt ways of learning but can they read and write????

I know math is not my strong suit so i woulnt' be able to do my kids justice in teaching math, and my kids are smart but not self motivated enough to pull a calc book out and go through it on their own. so i tend to think homeschooling parents are delusional idiots.

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A.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Religious nut.

Well, that was probably a prejudice 10 years ago. Now it's more "Granola Cruncher".

BTW, I love HS and would love to try it - but those are common "prejudgments" I have come across.

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

My first thoughts are, "Wow, that sounds like a lot of work," "You must be a very organized person," and "Don't you ever need a break from the kids?"

Some people were born to homeschool. Some people's family situation (military, job keeps moving, elderly parents need extra help, etc) make home schooling an excellent option. Who knows really all the reasons someone might choose to homeschool.

I really don't think I would last long if I tried, but I have great admiration for those who do it. If done right, homeschooling can be amazing.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

Holy cow what a lot of work! That's what I think. Given some public school districts and different needs of different kids nowadays, I totally get it though. If I was in a not good school district and couldn't afford private and I had it in me, I would home school.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

My first thought, always is, wow -- I couldn't do it. So-and-so must be orders of magnitude more patient than me.

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A.L.

answers from Austin on

I have met homeschool parents who look down on me, for sending my kids to public school. So I wonder, what does SHE, think of ME?

I also think of the families I know that homeschool, and do wonder what sort of homeschool parent she is. I have personally known kids who are thriving, and some who found themselves further behind - just like in other school situations.

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

Brave - I would not want that level of responsibility. and arrogant - to think I know more about teaching than professional who went to years of schooling and training and that I can do it better just because I am the mom/dad/love them , etc.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

I think that they have a really smart mom with LOTS of patience

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K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

Honestly?

My very first thought is:
That Mom must have a ton of patience!!
*I severely lack in that department & couldn't do it.

My next thoughts are:
1) The kids are probably very sheltered...

And then

2) I wonder if they also make their own clothes?
*Honestly don't know where this comes from? I have a picture in my head what a homeschooling family looks like, not sure where it comes from...but I usually imagine a fairly religious family that doesn't allow any TV, really want to shelter their kids from the Pop Culture of today, someone who makes their own dish soap, makes their own clothes, has a beautiful garden & whom eats all organic!

So as you can see, it's not all bad judgement...most of it is very good, some of it is like I've seen one too many episodes of The Duggers & 19 kids & Counting?! Ha!!

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My first thought (and I don't mean to offend anyone) is that the family is very religious, usually Christian. I'm sure not all homeschool families are, but I have yet to meet one personally who isn't. Honestly.

I used to think those kids didn't get enough socialization, but have learned over the years that, in addition to things like sports and dance classes, they also have groups and playdates with other homeschool families. So I do feel better about that.

My other thought is that I can't imagine spending that much time with my children every single day. I think it's good for parents and kids to have a break from each other. I also think that many kids are more likely to push back when their parent is their teacher than they would to a teacher in a public school setting. I feel like there would be a lot more butting of heads, since the child is in their comfort zone.

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S.F.

answers from Fargo on

I absolutely love Nervy Girl's beautiful, intelligent response. Reading it after the bounty of ignorant judgements was refreshing. I appreciate such a truly open minded opinion!

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Their kids are just too special to be with the normal kids.That their parents think they are better than the teachers.

I rationally know that that isn't what they all think. There are many situations where a regular classroom just isn't what they can or need to do.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

'kindred spirit.'
even though it's actually rarely the case.
i homeschooled for academic reasons, and so did the vast majority of our community. even the ones who were doing so for primarily religious reasons didn't like the rigidity in the (overwhelmingly christian) religious homeschool community so hung out in our awesome secular groups.
but it's a plain fact that most homeschoolers are deeply (and often of the fundamental stripe) christians. so i probably don't actually have much in common with most.
but i still think 'boo-yah!'
ETA i always know, of course, that there are really ignorant and idiotic opinions on these boards, and don't fuss about it. but in this particular thread, i have to say that the SOURCES of some of the ignorance is really shocking me!
khairete
S.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

after doing it myself for 2 years, and nearly having a nervous breakdown from wearing too many "hats" I think - either you have very easygoing kids, or you have an enormous amount of patience!

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M.E.

answers from Chicago on

My first thought is that the parents are very religious or that they are such controlling people that they need to control every single aspect of their children's lives. I know this is not always the case but that's my first reaction.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Irish Rovers
'The Orange and the Green"

'My learning was all done at home that's why I'm such a fool'.

Ok, it runs through my mind, but not very seriously.

I have no doubts that some homeschool situations work very well.
But others may not.
Some parents can really teach while others really don't have the talent, knack, patience or discipline.
Some kids might thrive in the homeschool atmosphere while others need more structure.
I know it's not something that I could do but others can do it very well.
Our son has done well in private school and in public school.
With the right teacher he might do well as home schooled too, but it wouldn't be with me.
I do teach him a lot about very many things but I can't teach him about subjects I know nothing about - I wouldn't know how to do it.

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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

Dedication for sure!

I wouldn't be able to do it though. It takes, I am sure, a lot of patience. And school time is when I manage the house (cleaning, laundry, meal prep, schedule prep, etc.) That's a huge job in itself. It's awesome if it works for them, though. And I'm crazy excited about and loving all the opportunities my kids' school offers. Mostly the enrichment stuff, as it's built in and I don't have to drag them all over as much. I feel lucky to have these opportunities for them.

Oh, and along with dedication, organization. I am sure it takes a lot of that, too!

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Depends - if the school district isn't great, then education goal. If the school district is strong, then religious focus. Occasionally there is someone who homeschools due to special education needs.

That's what I've personally run into, so the thoughts are based on my exposure (small as it is) to homeschooling moms.

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

First thoughts..."yeah right" and "sure you are".

98% of those that I have known that do homeschooling do not teach their children, at least not what they should (they barely graduated high school themselves, if at all, how on earth can they teach them at today's levels?).

One family has 9 kids and the parents are educated...they taught their kids but they move a lot due to work assignments so it works better than traditional school. I have met another mom that homeschools her 3 kids and does teach them. They are socially adjusted, involved in various activities such as Girl Scouts and karate, etc. But two hours a day seems a bit odd to me for schooling. The other 1% are special needs kids and the parents have tried and failed to give them a better education via one-on-one at their own pace (the two different sets of parents parents/3 different kids one truly tried and the other just didn't and still have her kids "graduating" on time).

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