Don't know where to begin..It's a long story & I have 2 posts on what I'm going through right nowwith my ex. As for this question, I would like some advice on trying to win him back. I feel like it's worth a try, after all it was a mis communication on his part and lack of trust on my part and nothing else. Now, if his intention was to break up with me but, didn't know how and provoked the circumstances then I'll see when I call him Sunday. I told him 2 was ago that I had a surprise for him and he was dying to know but, I told him he would have to wait. The surprise was for me to drive down to where he is which is 5 hrs away and stay at a hotel near his home that he shares with a family. I thought it would be a nice way to spend Valentine's Day together. It's been 3 days since the break up and I haven't called him nor he's called me. So, I want to definitely call him Sunday but, I'm not sure what to say to let him know that I miss him and that I want to make it up to him, that I was wrong for the accusations and tell him about the surprise for the hotel stay. Honestly, I'm afraid he'll reject me but, I won't know if I don't ask right? If he says no, then I'll know that my suspicions where right. Tha he's los interest in me and he found someone else near him. If he says yes, then at least I'll know that he still cares for me and hopefully willing to reconcile. I would like ideas as to how to approach him with the invitation for the hotel stay and ultimately win him back. Thanks
I got married the first time on V day so my advice is do NOT attach any kind of emotions to a specific man on that date! You will remember that for every V day after that!!!
Please go read my other response on your other post. It's scary how into this guy you are. Stop.
Why don't you do something nice with/for your kids for Valentine's Day? I think they'd appreciate it much more than this loser dude you keep hounding. You have much more important things in life than to be chasing around some worthless guy. FOCUS ON YOUR KIDS.
I read your previous post. After that I read the other replies and then your profile.
It seems like you are desperatly looking for someone to tell you, yes go after him, love is worth fighting for..... I'm sorry, but you're not going to get that here.
Reality check 1.... You have 3 small children. Your focus should be on them. There is no room in your life for a man. While your off for your fun weekend, who's going to watching your children?
Reality check 2.... This man does not love you. This man probably doesn't even like you. He doesn't even know you. And you don't know him either.
Reality check 3... Maybe 2 weeks ago he was curious about a surprise. But now he could care less.
Stop chasing a man who has clearly told you and shown to you that he does not care about you. Stop sleeping with men who do not care about you.
Become a strong independent woman who respects herself. Then maybe , just maybe, the next time he's in town he may give you a call.
oh my goodness please don't do this. you'll forever be that "crazy girl who drove all the way to stay at a motel near him after he broke up with you" in his stories to his friends. don't do it! save your time money and dignity please
I can sense you are very desperate and hurting. Take this as an opportunity to turn your life around.
Do you have a baby? Is he the daddy? If not, what are you doing already getting serious with another guy so soon?
You have 3 kids right? Focus on being a mom and stop hopping into bed. It will not get you a daddy for those kids, it will not make you feel loved, and you are not setting a good example for the kids. You have a full life working and raising 3 kids. Let him go and find out why you believe you need to be with a man who doesn't want you. You owe it to your kids and to yourself.
Take care of you and your family. That should be your focus.
Bad idea. You are only going to get hurt. (I also responded to your other post also).
He ALL READY broke up with you. What does it matter if he is interested in someone else? It doesn't change anything. If you continue to pursue him, you are only going to make yourself feel worse....and you'll KEEP feeling worse about your ongoing behavior (more so than you do about the things you said) and it will create a nasty downward spiral.
I have been this heartsick over a guy...it is NOT a sign that he's "the one". It's a sign that something's not right - sometimes it can be the result of getting "played" for us, but it still doesn't matter. Stand straight and focus on the wonderful things in YOUR life.
So you messed up with what you said and did. ...we all mess up sometimes. Accept that you are human and try to deal with YOUR issues. Even if you GOT this guy back, the things that caused you to want so much so soon would still be in play for you.
And remember that your kids are WAY more important than any guy. They need you.
I read your other post, so this response is a dual-response.
He broke-up with you after you (wrongly) accused him of cheating and told him that he's lousy in bed... I think he's made his choice and is moving on. I suggest that you do the same. You clearly don't trust him (you are already assuming that there's someone new) and he's done justifying himself to you. If he wanted to talk to you, he would call.
Don't call, don't invite him to a hotel to have sex and don't under-estimate exactly how hurt he may be.
The idea of meeting you for a rendezvous after you told him you don't enjoy sex with him is not going to be alluring, so I wouldn't degrade yourself by trying. Walk away and work on building your confidence so that you don't find yourself in this situation again.
M.,
Please move on. He does not want you back and if you do see him and if he were to see you while you are there it will be purely to have SEX with you because you are there and you will have made it way too easy for both of you to say no!!!! If he cares about you he would be calling! He is not..
There's your answer.!!!!!!
Updated
M.,
Please move on. He does not want you back and if you do see him and if he were to see you while you are there it will be purely to have SEX with you because you are there and you will have made it way too easy for both of you to say no!!!! If he cares about you he would be calling! He is not..
There's your answer.!!!!!!
Dont waste your time or money. If he wanted a relationship with you you would have heard from him already, men are like that. (you are already rejected)
Take your kids somewhere fun for Vday and make it about your little family and give yourself time to heal and find the "right" guy next time. Stop focusing on yourself, you have kids for cryin out loud, you don't need a lame guy to take care of and follow around.
"a miscommuniation on his part and lack of trust on my part and nothing else" (direct quote from your question above) makes it sound like miscommunication and lack of trust are small, minor issues. They are not! They are big, important issues. We aren't talking "I like Papa Johns and he likes Pizza Hut" here! Sorry to be flippant but all of us are trying to keep you from making a mistake. If this is the kind of thing that rears its ugly head when you're not even two months into a relationship, what do you think will improve down the road? And everyone has their own story, but on the few occasions I've reunited with a former flame, we ALWAYS broke up again, and it was ALWAYS for exactly the same reasons we broke up the first time!! I think the person below who says that you don't want to be "that crazy girl who drove five hours for Valentines Day" is right on the money. A love relationship worth having doesn't necessarily require all this drama. I wish you the best of luck in your romantic life, but my gut tells me that this particular fella is not THE ONE. And that's okay! My mom always said, men are like buses--there's always another one comin':)
