Vaccines: to Tell or Not to Tell....

Updated on June 14, 2007
K.C. asks from Plano, TX
7 answers

My 4yo is due for some shots and I am wondering if I should warn him before the appointment or just let it be a surprise. Obviously there is a lot of time to build up anxiety if I tell him before hand but I also don't want him to become distrusting of the doctor. Thoughts?

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D.W.

answers from Dallas on

I would usually discuss it w/ my child on the way to the office. It would be a part of the over all picture- "the doctor wants to make sure you are all healthy, they will look in your eyes, your ears, they will have you walk for them and at the very end they will give you a shot to keep you from getting sick". From there I would be honest- "yes it will hurt for just a second, but not as much as if you got sick"
Please, don't tell them "the mean nurse will be giving you your shots"! Yes I have heard that several times!

D.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Tell... 4 Year olds are SOOO smart! I have been so close to my nephew who is 4 and amazed at this age how they go to learning something new every day like a new word or how to walk, to really being intelligent and smart! Shocking at times even...

He's at the age where you'd do more hurt to trick him then to prepare him. Hype it up about a reward afterwards. He may even remember shots in the past, remind him how he made it through that just fine (if he didn't he wouldn't be here today for the next one, meaning no matter how hard that one was or how bad an experience that one was it only lasted a few minutes at the most. And if it wasn't that bad and he does remember it then it wouldn't be any worse this round...).

Tell him the nurses called to make sure he was ready for this doctor's appointment and can't wait to see him, can't wait to give him his sucker after he's all done, something that really makes him feel special!

I'm not an expert by any means but I think they are too smart at this age for tricks. It might cause more harm like you said... He needs to respect and feel incredibly comfortable with doctors and nurses etc.

Give him the respect you would want. Crazy to consider of a 4 year old but he's not a little boy any more mommy! That means even more fun stuff in life! Promise him a trip to the library for his favorite book or a trip to McDonalds for a happy meal, or a trip to the toy store for a new toy. Depending on which direction you wanted to take it, and what he'd really love... I wouldn't promise him the world though, its just a shot, but does need some cushioning to deal with the situation.

Hope that helps! I love to share my two cents, whether you use it or not is all up to you! GOOD LUCK!!! :o) ~T.~

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N.O.

answers from Dallas on

I came SO close to posting this exact same question before my 5 yr old was due for her Hep A.
I ended up telling her and discussing it with her and I think it really helped.
I brought it up to her about 3-4 days before the appt. and I can almost guarantee this will help your son if Mommy talks to him about what to expect.
I explained to her how it's over so fast and as soon as she's done I would take her by the Dollar Store to pick out a prize.
(That always seems to help)

I can still remember clearly when I was a little girl and went to the doctor for being sick. I asked my Mom probably 10 times if I have to get a shot and she insisted I was not.
Well, I did and it took 2 nurses, my Mom and the Doctor to hold me down! It was a very bad experience and I never want to be that way with my kids. I think it scares them SO much more to find out when they are at the Doctors office instead of preparing themselves for it.

If your son gets really scared when you tell him, just promise him you'll take him to get a prize when he's all done at his favorite store if he's a good boy for the doctor.

I hope that helps and good luck. I think we parents stress more about these appts then the kiddos! : )

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C.L.

answers from Dallas on

K.-

I always told my two girls...I told them it would be like a little "pinch", that it would be over VERY fast and then they would be protected from getting those yucky bad sick bugs! Now they know at 10 & 8 that I will always be honest with them when going to the doctor. I was always surprised how well they handled it! I always had them look at me and squeeze my hand and I would try to distract them by asking them what they wanted to do that afternoon, or asking about their favorite toy or book. The best thing you can do is stay calm. If you get all worked up then he will definately think there is something to be scared of :) Good Luck!

C.

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I.

answers from Dallas on

I always tell my kids, and also tell them it's going to hurt. I don't lie to them. But I only tell it a couple of hours before, or maybe the day before we go. (depending on the age of the kid)

good luck!

I.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I would definitely tell him. And I wouldn't say it will hurt, as that would cause anxiety. And I agree that you should just tell him on the way to the doctor. Have something ready to distract him immediately following the shot - a sucker, a sticker, a toy, whatever.

And one thing you should do - when you DO talk about it (before, after, whatever), you need to reassure him that he will not get a shot every time he goes to the doctor, that it's a one-time thing.

Good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Dallas on

Absolutely tell him! If the immunization shots are a surprise, it may cause him to constantly wonder "What scary/bad thing is about to happen?" Telling him gives him some positive control over his little world :)

As others advised, I usually tell my girls the day before or the morning of the appointment (again, depending on age). This way there's not too much time for them to worry, but again they are prepared. Just make it matter-of-fact and if he asks if it will hurt, tell the truth but don't overreact. ("It will hurt for a second and then it will be over. I'll be right there with you. We'll put a band-aid on it, and it will be over! Yea!)

Just fyi...my girls (ages 8 and 5), react differently each year. We've ranged from NO reaction (no crying, no "ouch"...nothing!) to me having to hold my child down during the shot. So just be prepared for anything and know that he will be okay :)

Hope this helps. Good luck!

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