Do You Tell Your Kids They Need Shots Before Going to the Doctor?

Anonymous:

YES!! I do tell them!! Especially my youngest who does not like needles.

It's better to be prepared and walk them through it than spring it on them.

I agree with a few other posts about damaging trust. I took my 5-yr old to get her Kindergarden shots and she kept asking if she was going to get any. I told her no knowing it would be a screamfest getting her in the door if I did tell her. So, we get there and she gets the shots and is so heartbroken that I lied to her. Every dr's appt after that day was like pulling teeth to get her to go because she didn't know if she was getting shots or not (regardless of what I said). Oh, and she's 13 now and can still tell you every detail about that day and how "mom lied to her."

I have two little ones now and will definitely not be making that mistake again. So, yes, I thinkg you should tell him ahead of time. Good luck!

I haven't read the responses but yes, I tell mine and always have. But also from the time they were 2 they really were okay with them. They know it's a quick uncomfortable pinch and then it's over.

Yes, I do tell them before we go. I figure it helps build trust, and allows them to anticipate what's going to happen. We can talk about how much it will hurt, how it will feel better quickly, etc. beforehand.

I always tell them ahead of time and I never sugar coat it. I much prefer the "that wasn't so bad" comment than the tears brought on by the travesty of deception. Yeah I have dramatic kids. :p

Oh, it just occurred to me to clarify, I only say something if they ask. I thought that should be obvious because who gets up and says, hey!! Shots today!! :D That would be twenty levels of crazy but after reading a few answer that specified I thought I would throw that in. :)

Then again I have always had the next statement out of their mouths after saying pediatrician be, shots?

I have always told my kids. I don't want them to be surprised when they get there or think I was lieing to them.

I always explained that this will be a big pinch but this way you won't get sick, if you got sick it would hurt much bigger and this will be quick. And because I love you and don't want to see you sick and feeling bad, we're going to do this. --Something to that affect. It worked fine for my kids.

I'd usually take them for ice cream afterwards, but I kept that part a surprise.

No, I don't tell. It just gives my son the chance to get all worked up and be more difficult when the time comes to get the shot.

If they ask, I always tell them that I don't know, but it doesn't matter anyway. If you need it, you get it. It only hurts for a second and then it's over.
I am not dramatic. I'm factual. I don't make a big deal. It is what it is.
YMMV
LBC

I agree with Everley. My daughter told her children ahead of time, at that age, for the reasons Everley stated. She talks about shots when they ask about shots and they usually do. She explains in a no big deal way.

Whether or not you tell does depend on the child and how they will react.

I'd definitely not talk about a shot in the waiting room. My daughter has this conversation the day before or during the morning with an afternoon appointment. By discussing it ahead of time you have time to aleve Their fears. It's a conversation, not a statement.

No, I just told them I don't think so, we'll see what the doctor says. The last time I was at the doctor's office with my son who is 11, there was a little girl there whose parents told her she was getting a shot. She screamed and carried on and almost threw up from crying so hard. I am not sure it was worth getting her so worked up about it for the 1/2 hour she had to wait and then the 15 minutes of exam before getting the actual shot. I felt bad for everyone in there. It made the others kids in the office edgy as well.

I've made that mistake that the doctor probably didnt appreciate. It J. leaves them crying and upset beforehand and during. Now I J. say we're going to the doctors and she'll immediately ask if there are shots and I don't lie/ I first try to avoid it and then follow it with the doctor will decide, but remember last time you didn't have to, so don't work yourself upMy kid is a worrier, if she were the kind of kid that could let it go, I';d J. tell her up front, for her she'll worry and get upset days before hand all the way until the shot.

OMG--NO!
If mine asks I say "Hmmmm....not sure if you get them at <insert age of well child visit here>....they'll check your chart to see if you need anything...."

This has worked well for me since mine was old enough to ask! LOL
(And usually, truly, I don't know ahead of time! So I'm telling the truth!)

YES, I always tell them. That way they can be mentally prepared for it. My younger daughter especially HATES shots and is terrified of needles (so melodramatic! lol), so it's better if she knows in advance. I also tell her why she needs the shot (for example, if it's a booster shot for MMR, I'll tell her what measles, mumps, and rubella would do if she were to come down with them). She decided a long time ago that a little shot that stings for a second is much better than measles, so now she doesn't cry and carry on when she gets a shot.

Yes, always told her. There was one time we got there and they realized she needed a shot. She did fine.

I tried to never make a big deal out of it. I stayed very calm.. even though inside I was freaking out. I took a book and read to her while they were prepping to keep her attention.

We spoke about how if you do not look at at it and you relax your body, it will only hurt for a moment and then be done.. The more you tense up, the worse it will hurt.

Once she realized this was the truth.. she did not have a problem with them.

Always be honest and forthright about something like this. You will damage trust with them if you lie about it or hide it. No need to over-dramatize it either, though. Just tell them.
My kids always handled it fine. And if you don't wait until you are sitting in the doctor's office, it gives them a bit of time to "deal with" it emotionally in private. Something we ALL cherish during times of stress, right? Treat them kindly. Give them that. Just don't tell them DAAAAAYS in advance... that just stresses them for days for no real reason.
I usually told mine either a) when they asked "am I getting shots at the doctor's office?" or b) the morning of the appt, before we left the house.

I also usually promised them we would do something "special" or get a treat of some sort afterwards, too.

I always told her beforehand what was going to happen. I didn't feel that it was right to blindside her.

My kids, no big deal. My wifes kids, 6 and 12, absolutely NOT. At the beginning of May the 12 yr needed two shots to enter 7th grade and he worked himself up so much he barfed all over the place. The 6 yr old, it's similar to the Exorcist scene we all know to well if she knows a needle is coming.

No! There is no reason to build it up as an event. There is no reason to cause all that anxiety. I just make it no big deal. While we are there, the nurse will tell them, ok, now time for your shot. Then it's over quick and they never had time to worry over it.

I always tell him what to expect. I think that is only fair - I do think it is cruel to surprise them. Now, I don't tell him any earlier than a day or two beforehand (when I tell him he has an appointment). Happily he couldn't care less about shots. He just smiled at the nurse at his first shots right up until his last flu shot last fall. He is 6.

I don't think I have ever come out and said "you are getting a shot today", but if she asks (and she usually asks!), I won't lie to her. I just don't make a big deal of it. I'll just say, "Yep, and he's also going to lookin your ears and listen to your heart. All part of the visit.". I've never had her freak out yet.

I never told my 5, still don't. I wait until after the check up when they let me know who gets what and how much. Why stress the kids out for hours rather than a few minutes. When it's over they get a treat.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

Yes I've always told them. They haver never freaked out, and always took their shots bravely. They might cry out when the sting comes, but generally there's been little screaming and drama. Afterwards we always get a treat.

Yes I tell my kids.
They ask me beforehand.
I tell them the truth.
I don't want them to think I "lie" to them.
If I don't know, I tell them I don't know.

Take a whistle with you to the appointment.
Have the Nurse count to three, before giving the shot. ON three, have your child blow HARD on the whistle. This will distract your child from the anxiety of the shot and of the pain. It will be over in a second.

No way.
My now 17 yo is ok with needles and vaccinations. My 14 yo faints at the sight of needles.

While I don't volunteer the information, I do tell the truth if asked. Mine get a little upset in the car after asking, but are fine by the waiting room. I just don't feel right lying about it to them. I still remember a young kind checkup where my mom lied to me about the shots.

My 4 yr old has a nurse appt tomorrow to get 2 vaccinations. I am not telling her until we get there. I really don't want to deal with the stress beforehand and see no point in her getting stressed out.
With my older kids, when they turned 7 or 8 they came to realize that they could get shots whenever they have checkups. I do remind them that they may or may not get boosters.

yes I have to tell them , our boys are 5 and 7. Our 7 yo does fine but 5 yo or boy we have to bribe him with lego sets each time .

If they ask I say maybe. If they don't ask I let the doc tell them. Why let them have anticipatory anxiety all that time. It's a shot. Not major surgery. If I make a big deal out of it they get the idea it's a big deal.

Not until she was old enough that she asked "what will happen at the dr?". But once she asks I am honest with her.

I would tell her that she was going to get a vaccine to prevent or lessen say, for example chicken pox. I told her that about 10 seconds of discomfort would prevent or reduce the weeks and weeks of scratching and scarring and fever and being so sick that all she did was lay around and wouldn't even be able to watch TV.

Once she connected that it was actually BETTER to get the shot than to get the disease it reduced her anxiety.

I don't want them thinking I hide things from them; I always want them to be honest and upfront with me, and the best way I can think of to get that is by modeling it. I always tell them. If they don't ask, which is rare, I tell them beforehand that there's a possibility. My kids are 2 and 4, and we always go through what the dr will probably do with them. I tell them it will pinch for a second, but then it'll be over. My kids are funny- they get excited for shots because they know it means we'll get a milkshake afterwards!

I never told them and they never asked. I just let them figure it out when the nurse says "I'll be right back with the shot". My daughter recently told me she wanted me to tell her before hand so now I do tell them. But it only serves to get them all worked up about it.

I remember mom saying that she had to take my brother to the doc once and she didn't think he needed any shots at that time. Found out he was actually due a booster shot, but the doc said they'd do the shot another time so that she did not "lie" to my brother!

I do tell, but not until in the car on the way for a little mental prep. It depends on the kid though.

I also spared myself. So, although I know I should have--I did not...

I can see you have a lot of responses, but I will admit I did not read them. All I have to say is No, No, No, do not tell them. My daughter has never made a fuss about getting a shot. Sure it's not fun, but she always took it in stride and went with the flow. One year she asked if she would be getting a shot at the upcoming visit and I told her yes. She worried herself into a frenzy and by the day of the appointment she was a nervous wreck. She screamed and fought more that day than any I have ever seen. I decided then and there never to tell her ahead of time again. She has been fine ever since, no issues. I just tell her that I don't know if she will get a shot or not and she is fine.

Well, our little guy (5) hates shots, so we go the bribe route.

His doc is in another part of town, and we rarely go there for anything else, so he's usually wise to it. He always asks "Am I going to get a shot?" and we are always honest with him, yes or no. Every yes is followed by "and right after that, we're going to get ice cream."

I cannot lie to him, so if I don't know, I tell him so.

And may I suggest some Rescue Remedy pastilles? We use these beforehand and I think it helps a little.

i am always upfront with my daughter with what is going to happen when she goes to the dr. she will be having surgery to have her adenoid removed and a tube put in her right ear. i will explain the whole proceedure to her. so she understands and knows what will happen.

I don't tell them till it's time to get poked, no need to mentally torture them for however long it takes for them to get the shot. Knowing my girls, if i told them they would break down in terror!

Everytime I take my LO to the doctor they always ask are they gonna get a shot. And when they come with me, they ask am I gonna get a shot. lol. They have been completely traumatized after several unsuccesful tries to draw their blood.And regardless of whether they are or not, I always say no. They dont find out until the nurses come in with the needles. Takes a couple of nurses (and me) to hold them down. They absolutely hate needles and if I told them in advance, they would act a fool the entire time.

I always tell them- they are not good with surprises. If they need shots they know they need shots days in advance that way they are prepared. If I didnt tell them they would freak out in the dr.office and that is never good