Vacation......and Pregnant, Should I Go??

.

I would not go.

With both my pregnancies, although normal pregnancies... my tummy was SO huge and I got SO uncomfortable the farther along I got... that even going in the car to run an errand to the neighborhood store, was a pain. Literally.
And at home, I knew, which chair/sofa/couch was comfortable for me or not... and the position of my body.... even the height of a chair, made a difference. Otherwise I could not even get myself out of a chair.

Anyway, don't look at it like this is the 'last' trip... for years. There will be other opportunities... and other memory making moments.

Ideally, Mommy needs to take care of her body.
The Husband and kids, need to understand that.

all the best,
Susan

I really like the suggestion of going with another family or friends to help out. Then you could take breaks, stay in the room more, or swim in the hotel pool while they are at the beach. If you really feel like you are in too much pain, then don't go and dont' feel guilty either. Strain on you is strain on your baby, your youngest child and it's not worth it. If you decide not to go, hubby needs to explain it to the kids, that he didn't understand how much pain you are in and that it's not good for mommy or the new baby's health. There has got to be something closer to do. I think I would be most worried about the 7 hr car ride in pain. Find something closer with a pool, cause it feels great to swim while super preggo!!!!

It sounds like a fun family adventure, I totally see where your hubby is coming from...I also see how he might be in slight denial of your pain level, seeing how most of us moms take on the world even thru the pain!

My suggestion would be to tell hubby you will go as long as he is completely aware that you are not going to be much help in the whole process...the kid wrangling, the packing and loading, etc, etc...if he is up for the job of taking are of you and the kids then so be it!

I had TERRIBLE back problems with one of my pregnancies so I completely understand where you are coming from...but I could never disappoint my family by being the only reason we didn't get to go on one last summertime adventure...sorry sister...

Get the car charger thingymajig that allows you to plug things in and bring your heat pad and pain meeds and icy hot/ bengay and your messager thing and try to relax on the beach before #4!

If you don't want to go, say so. Maybe the hubby can take the kids and go alone. But, I wonder after they're gone if you won't regret not going.
He sounds like a wonderful and very helpful husband. It doesn't sound like he comes up with things to do and sticks you with all of it.
He can have the kids at the beach making sand castles or playing in the water while you rest. That wouldn't be so bad.
My husband and I flew to Palm Springs for a black tie business function when I was pregnant with my son and I admit I was a little uncomfortable. Well,,,,,,a lot. Mostly because my feet swelled up so much due to flying and the heat that none of my shoes would fit me and we had to go buy some comfortable shoes. But other than that, I was able to rest in a very comfortable hotel room with room service and only needed to worry about the dressing up part of things for the functions. We had a lovely meal on one of the golf courses (the restaurant) which was casual and nice.
I don't regret going. My husband even bought me an anniversary band while we were there.
All in all, I'm not sorry I went. My son, that I was pregnant with, loves hearing the stories of where we went and what we did when he was in my tummy.

Like I said, if you really feel like you can't go, find a way for the kids and dad to go by themselves. But, summer will be over soon and you may enjoy having this time before your new baby arrives.

As for your back pain, have you seen a chiropractor? I couldn't have made it through either of my pregnancies without one. I got so out of whack with the weight of the baby and everything and it really, really helped me.

I wish you the best whatever you decide.

Kudos to you both for wanting a last hurrah before school and the baby. A vacation is an awesome idea, you should take yours at home.

I am in agreement with hubby taking the kiddos for the vacation, if he's close to his dad or mom maybe they could go with him to even out the kid-adult ratio?

If you aren't looking forward to it now, think how much less you'll like it 3 hours into the car ride when your back is killing you no matter how much you reposition and he's stopping every 30 minutes so you can pee?

I suppose it would depend on how uncomfortable I was. Then again, if I could go and spend 99% of the time floating in the pool (it took SO much pressure off my back), I might be thrilled.

Oh man... Ok, first - can you not discuss any planning in front of your kids? You shouldn't have to make an emotional decision based on their excitement when it really may not be what's best for you or the baby.

Second - are there other options? Something closer? Can he take the kids someplace for a few days (hey, he got them excited! ;)) while you have a chance to take a break and relax (so you'd actually get a vaca too! )? Can he cover more of the preparations and actually get them done right (I didn't pack for my husband for the first time in awhile on our last vacation and he kept having to buy t-shirts because he didn't pack enough. God knows what would ahve happened if he'd packed for our daughter... ;))

Third - could you go with other family so you have more adult help there?

OK, that's all I've got. I hope it helps.

One word...CHIROPRACTOR! Seriously! I had really severe hip pain with my second pregnancy and my chiropractor fixed me. I swear, she's an angel sent from heaven! Like you, I could barely walk. I couldn't sleep because of the pain. Forget leaving the house there were days I couldn't get out of bed. I went every 3 days for two weeks, then once a month. It was a miracle! The appointments were quick (maybe 10 mins total). You have a LONG time (at least in pregnancy time) left in your pregnancy and you need to get some relief from your pain. Also, if you're muscles are inflamed, heat only makes them worse. You should be using ice. I'm not a doctor and it sounds to me like you need to tell one about your problems. If the Darvocet isn't working, it's time to try something else. You might even be able to find a chiropractor that specializes in pregnancy.

As far as the vacation...I would tell your husband that you'll go, but he has to do everything. If you don't want to go, and you're ok with it, have him take the kids and you stay home. You'd get a few days of down time. Have a little mini-vacation at home :)

Good luck! I hope you find some relief soon!

1) Not all pain killers work for everyone. Codeine and Hydrocodone do NOTHING for my pain, I'm still in extreme pain, I just don't care as much about it. Morphine just puts me to sleep... so I have no idea if it helps or not... because I'm asleep for then entire time it's in my system. A few others just make me looooooopy. High as a flippin' kite. Percoset, however, makes my pain *magically* disappear AND I don't even get loopy on it.

So if you're still in massive pain, talk with your doc. He/She may have something else that is safe to take but would actually work for you.

2) As per "would you go". Maybe. I live in chronic pain, so I make choices as to what things I do. Things that make it *worse*, I avoid. Things where it's just normal-in-a-different-place, I do.

If it's not too far from you, I would go and see a massage therapist ASAP. I used Stacey during my pregnancy (www.massagebystacey.com) and I still use her for a chronic back condition that I have. She is licensed in medical massages and prenatal massages. I HIGHLY recommend her. There were days I physically could not walk, but after seeing her it made such a huge difference. So maybe if you felt better, you would be okay taking the trip.

btw-she takes insurance so if your doctor can write a script for you (which if you are taking Darvocet this shouldn't be an issue) you will only have to pay a co-pay. Even if my insurance wouldn't have covered it, it would still have been worth me paying out of pocket.

Hope this helps!

if I were you I totally wouldn't go. I say this coming from having to say no to my hubby while pregnant. He wanted and we had planned to go see his family over thanksgiving. We went for a week in october and I was in terible pain and could barly eat. I have a very bad back that started way before I got pregnant. I had to cut back or stop taking all of my meds. I still suffer from this and will forever. Anyway, I told him that he could go but I just couldn't. I would rather not hold him back but I had to do what I felt was right for me. He agreed finally but pouted a little. I really think he had more fun with out me and my limmits. I would tell hubby that because he got the kids hopes up that he should do something with them if he's not willing to go without you. Maybe you could have the kids help plan next years trip to the beach. Talk about it with him and them.

oh, I forgot to add that biofreeze works better for summer months because you are hot already. You can get it at a medical supply shop but not at the normal retail pharmacy. It is a class A drug like ben gay or icy hot and doesn't affect baby at all. It works much the same way as icyhot as it is rubed on where it hurts. Don't forget to use tylonal too. It's a class B drug but use it instead of darvocett not with it b/c darvocett has tylonal in it.
it's no fun being Debby Downer on a trip.

Ok, I soo feel for you. It's the worst, being in pain and pregnant. Car rides can be a form of torture, so I think that would be my concern. When I've done car rides, I use a tennis ball to put pressure on the areas of pain. Prop yourself into the most confortable position with pillows. Take ice. I know heat feels better, but ice will help more with the inflammation. What about the vibrating massage chair insert. It's a seat you put on the carseat and you can have heat, massage, pulse, etc.It plugs into the car lighter (you can get a plug to go into the car lighter that is has three attached so that you can plug in your phone, the seat, computer, etcall at the same time.) This is if you decide to go.....
I'm a beach person, so any opportunity to go to the beach, I'm there. However, getting around on the beach can be a challenge. You'd have to have a chair that you could actually get comfortable in if you are going to hang out for very long. I would also explain to your husband that if he wants you to go, he better be the one getting up and down to tend to the kids instead of it being YOU. Help with packing, organizing, etc. will just have to be madatory! I personally, think the beach is healing, so it may just be relaxing for you!
Also, why wouldn't you be able to go next summer? That would be a great time to go! Your baby will be a year old and the beach would be a blast with him/her! If he/she is mobile, they may not be fast enough to get into trouble, yet. But, if he/she isn't mobile , they would be happy to sit on a blanket and play with toys.
In the end, only you can make the decision, depending on if you think you can take the trip and not be perfectly miserable the whole time. If you decide not to go, don't feel guilty about it. I know, easier said than done. But, your hubby might be disappointed at first, but he'll get over it! If he knows how much you are suffering with this pregnancy, he should understand. I say "should" because men can be absolutely clueless!! I wish you luck and try to relax either way!

Have you been to a chiropractor?
I swear that I'd be in shambles without mine. I'm 37 weeks into my second pregnancy, and I can't tell you how much of a difference he's made. I didn't have him with my first. It's truly incredible.

I also see a massage therapist, but he is unable to adjust me like the chiro can.
Seriously, if you're in that much pain, find one and see them. Make sure that they've treated pregnant women before and then enjoy the relief!!!

As for your trip, I'd be torn. For me, it's harder to manage my son each day in this state. So a trip, which offers plenty of distractions from mom (and guarantees dad is around to help) is actually a blessing, despite the fact that I'd rather not be there.
But 7 hrs in a car...I just don't know. That's a call you'll have to make for youself.

I am 9 mos pregnant and recently back from a camping trip- yes I am completely insane. lol I have had no intolerable back pain, but I am not comfortable at this point to say the least- I still have morning sickness if you can believe it.
Here's my advice- If you think you can go and grin and bear it, then do it, esp since now the kids are all on board. It will mean a lot to your family, esp if they won't go without you. Your husband will have to understand that he will have to pick up a majority of the slack. If he is ok with that, then go for it. If you don't think you can handle it, say so, and try to come to a compromise for an alternative vacation that's closer by. Maybe a theme park or water park. Next year plan for something bigger.
I don't have any advice about a massager, even though I know they make heating pads for cars . Just make frequent stops and get out and move a little bit to loosen things up. Also have you considered having a prenatal massage? I had more back pain with my first pregnancy, and that really helped. Make sure you find someone that is certified and trained in prenatal massage. Hope this helps.

It would be great if your husband could take the kids and give you the rest you need and deserve. To me the best vacation at that point in pregnancy would be to stay in my quiet air conditioned home curled up with a good book and let hubby and kids go.

Try a belly pregnancy support band. I herd they work great. You could ask your husband to help pack for the trip.

Well you are on the pain med, so you "could" take that, but considering being uncomfortable and all those things you described. Could he fly instead of drive. Could he pack instead of you? When you get to the destination, maybe you stay inside and let them go out to the beach. If there's no place to stay and it's outside in heat, etc, I would not go. I would have your husband select a different vacation plan or location for the sake of your condition. It's not fair he selected the beach while you're pregnant and in pain! How uncomfortable is that! Plus it is hot! I think you already know your answer but your mind is willing but your body is weak. They also say where there is a will, there is a way. In this case, listen to your body! The baby and you are more important now. It's not like you won't ever be able to go on vacations again, it will just be different.