Using a Babysitting Service During Vacation

I always thought I'd be so cool, leave my child with the babysitter while I was off jet setting. Darn, I disappointed myself: ) Kidding aside, I could never be okay leaving my child with someone I did not know (very well), but some people are fine with it. That was not their decision to make, though I'm sure they just wanted to have fun with you all. Personally, just can't image ever being so carefree with my child. Sounds great in theory, not in practice (for me).

You've got it right when you say you can still have a fabulous time, it will just be a different trip.

Jen

I am the same way! I would never forgive myself if something happened to my daughter while she was in the care of a stranger. So, instead I sacrifice certain things to make sure I don't need to leave her with someone I don't know.

If I really need a babysitter, I always make sure its someone I know and trust and if that's not possible, then I find a way to stay with her. For me, missing out on certain things is definitely worth my peace at mind!

Hi Monica,

I take a 50/50 split on this. Yes, you have to let go a bit, but at the same time the decision is yours to make when you are ready. However, I am sure they thought they were doing you a favor in making the arrangement.

Why don't you try it and if you find yourself uncomfortable, give the sitter a short call to check the children and if that doesn't help, relieve the sitter and take your baby with you from there on.

I used a sitter service for my first year because they had a background check, they came to my home, and somewhat on demand. I had one sitter I asked not to come back out of the year. Overall, I was very pleased with the service.

If you're not comfortable using a babysitter you don't know, I think it's fine to say so. However, I don't think it's unreasonable for people who don't have kids (e.g., your MIL and possibly other relatives) to want to do grown-up activities on their vacation. It's a fact of life that our kids and their schedules simply aren't as important to other people as they are to us.

So, as was said before, some compromise would be appropriate. Maybe drive separately so that you and baby can make an appearance at the wineries/dinners and then leave early if/when necessary. Since it's your husband's family, I'd say be prepared to let your husband stay - after all I'm guessing that he's the one member of your nuclear family that your MIL really wants present at the celebrations.

Re: dinner, would you be comfortable putting the baby to bed yourself and then leaving him with the sitter after he's asleep so you can join the adults afterward?

Good luck, and have fun!

I agree with a lot of the responses, I have never left my 3 year old and 1 year old with anyone other than their grandparents. However, why don't you see if you can set up a meeting with the babysitter and then make your decision. I also think that it is unreasonable to make everyone go to a "kid-friendly" restaurant because you want to bring the kids. The wine tasting for a pregnant women is not something I would consider fun when I was pregnant, so maybe the dinner would be a good choice since you can enjoy eating :) A few hours with a babysitter might be a good experience for you and the kids, especially if it's someone your BIL has used before and is comfortable with. Whatever you decide remember that it's supposed to be enjoyable for everyone so don't do antyhing that will ruin your time.

I didn't read the other responses yet.

But for me, well you are NOT wrong about this.
I would feel the same way.
EACH Mom/parent, should choose what is best for THEIR child/family. Not just have it chosen for them.... and certainly not without asking you/the Parent about it FIRST.

You should do what is best for you/your child/and instincts.

I too, feel that when on a a trip, you can't just leave the kids... ALL day, to do "adult" things... for me and my Hubby, we always INCORPORATE the kids and do what is family oriented... skipping those we feel is not inclusive for the kids. AND you are pregnant... um, yah, so for them to assume you will attend an ALL day wine-tasting event/dinners... is not real considerate. AND being pregnant and being on your feet all day... will be tiring not to mention dehydrating, which is not good while pregnant.
They should have asked you first.

What does your Husband think?

And certainly, being pregnant, you should not be left alone, to manage your other child, by yourself, while the "adults" are out and about on all-day event/dinners/outings.

Do what is best for you, your pregnant status, and your child.

All the best,
Susan

Just a couple of notes regarding your post. Most wineries in Napa do not allow children, so you'd have to forgo the tastings all together.

I understand that you're not comfortable and that is first and foremost the most important thing. If your question was whether other people had used services and wanted to know their experiences, I could tell you that we've had great experiences because we've checked to make sure there were background checks, etc. etc.

My guess is that your BIL and SIL did it as a nice gesture and figured since they would be getting one for their child, they'd just tack on yours as well. Don't feel obligated to use the sitter, but also don't be upset because they were doing it out of kindness.

I haven't read the posts, but maybe you can come up with some alternative solutions. I'm drawing a blank right now, but will think on this some more.

I think there needs to be some compromise on both sides. If you're not comfortable leaving your baby with a sitter you've never met, don't do it. Bring the baby with you or skip the wineries, since you can't drink the wine anyway.

As for the dinners, if your MIL wants a nice dinner out for her bday, you should accommodate that wish, even if it means a late night for your baby. Trust me, I know how hard it can be to take the baby out late and to a restaurant that isn't kid friendly, but sometimes we just have to do it. I was forced to take my son to a 6:30 p.m. wedding recently...not what I would have chosen but it was for family and it worked out ok in the end.

Is there anyone from your family or a friend that could come along as the babysitter instead of hiring a stranger? Or, is there anyone at home that you could leave your son with and not even take him on the trip at all? you might have a lot more fun if you weren't worried about what was appropriate to do with kids.

I hope it all works out!
K.
http://oc.citymommy.com