Unsure If Behavior Is Normal

I think that what you describe is completely normal. She is at the age where she wants and feels things but lacks the language to express herself. Just keep telling her, "No. We don't hit." I would encourage you to keep repeating the words for what you thinks she wants or how you think she is feeling when she hits. Eventually, she will figure out the words for what she is trying to express. They feel so much but can't express themselves. I think it is just human nature at this age. Good luck!

my son did the same thing at 10 monthes. i too am a stay at home mom. he is now 2 1/2. i think that it is very normal thing that soon to be todlers go threw. whenever my son would have a fit or hit i would place him in the "naughty chair" for 1 min. and then explain to him why he was there and what i expect of him. and no they are going to understand everything that you say but keep it simple and CONSISTANT and they will get the hint. redirect is aslo a good way to get them out of their "mood". or sometimes just telling them that you understand why they are upset is enough. for exsample...
my son would stand at the door and scream because he wanted to go outside but it was raining so of course he couldn't. so i would get down to his level and say to him
"i know you are mad!" "you want go outside!" "outside right now!!" and then go into why he can't go out. he was amased in the fact just that i DID understand him. i hope some of this info helps.
L.

J.,

My son did pretty close to the same thing around 12mo. From what I could tell he was testing out his limits. As soon as he figured out it was not going to give him extra attention or get him what he wanted it stopped as suddenly as it started. I would think that if you are not playing to the tantrum she will stop them. Plus it is hard for them to understand at that age what hard or soft touches are. My son is still learning to touch gently. Good luck!

S. R.

My daughter just turned 10 months old and we are going through something similar. I think it is caused by a few things. Her teeth could be bothering her, especially if it is the molars since they are larger than the other teeth that have erupted. Our pediatrician also said that kids at this age will start to push their limits and see what they can get away with. If it is a frustration thing, have you tried baby sign language. our doctor recommend we start to teach our daughter so it is easier to communicate what she wants since she is unabe to verbalize well yet. Hope some of this helps.

I am not sure either. I would call your pediatrician about it. It could be any number of things. You can show her how to communicate her basic needs, like "bottle" or "juice" - if she can't say it at least point. Babybumblebee.com has great videos that teach vocabulary - objects and action words. Can you see the tantrums coming? If you can, try to head it off. When she throws a tantrum I would try not to give it any attention - leaving her in a safe place. She needs to connect hitting and tantruming with solitude - no attention, whether positive or negative. It would help also to keep her on a strict schedule everyday - do the same thing at the same time each day, so she gets enough nutrition, play, and rest at the right times. Hope that helps a little -
J.

My 2 youngest childern do that. My daughter is 3 and my son is almost 2. I just let them throw their fit. Just let her know that it isn't okay to hit or throw things.That is all you can really do at this point.

L. R

Hi, and welcome to parenthood.LOL.This is very normal behavior.I found some things that helped me through this, and hopefully they will help you.Mad isnt bad.It is however inconvenient, disruptive, and embarrassing as a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store aisle can be.Anger is a signal just as a tantrum is. She cant speak and tell you what she needs,wants,ect. The only way she can express herself is to act out.She may feel that her needs arent being meant because we dont know what they are. I do not doubt for a second that you are not meeting her needs, but the question remains....what are they? Is she tired,hungry, thirsty, bored,teething?We dont know yet. We need to let our children know that anger is okay and natural, just as there other feelings are. Certainly we need to also teach them not to let there anger carelessly or intentionaly hurt themselves or others. Learn not to be destructive to his or her own or others property. But what better classroom,to learn to express anger productively than a safe and secure home of parental love and acceptance.Your home.When she is having an outburst let her know you respect her feelings(I know she is only 10 months, but it will eventually sink in, and she will understand)and that you love her.Validate the feeling and emotion and limit the behavior.You might say, for example:"I see how angry you are, but you may still not hit."or "I see you are upsetabout this,Even so,I expect you to clean up you toys." Be careful not to convey to you daughter that she shouldnt feel mad.Whatever she does to press those buttons, stay calm. Dont give in just to make peace.If you do, she will learn very quickly exactly what works to get what she wants.As for temper tantrums, you could do as above or ignore them.This is not a power struggle, and or bids for independence. Say yes to your child as much as possible,even if it's a qualified yes."Yes,we can play with your blocks after lunch."Everything will be fine, and some may not agree with my guidance, but I live a very peaceful life, and have a peaceful home....at least today....Have a great night.

My son was the same way. He is now 2 1/2 years old, and he still has that very strong, "here I am" attitude. At that young of an age, she probably doesn't know how to express herself. My son I feel and the doctor agreed was learning words early, but even for him, not quick enough. So in trying to express himself and communicate something he wanted or something that upset him, he couldn't. So how else to get someones attention or a reaction out of someone. Hit, slam and throw. Unfortunatly this is something we are still dealing with with my son. It's hard to discipline at this age because he doesn't quite understand consequence. Just take toys away that she throws (even if that means she ends up with none) and put her in time out. She won't really get it yet, and ofcourse you will probably have sit there with her, but do it. Find a place either a chair or somewhere on the floor (always use the same spot) Just for a second. Tell her no, she can't throw or act that way. eventually we hope they start to put 2 and 2 together.

My son started that stuff around 10 months old too. He still throws fits here and there - What I think it is, is imagine not being able to get your point across - she knows what she wants but doesn't know how to get it through to you or her dad...it's natural - you'll see - now my son (14 months) he communicates with us all different ways and we both understand! it's just a learning experience for the both of you! Good Luck!!!

Have you considered teaching her sign language? We have found that it helps so much with our daughters (16 months now) frustration level. She can tell me when she wants a drink and whether she wants juice or milk. Hurt, hungry, tired, happy, she has signs for all of them (plus about 50 other everyday words and items). The Signing Times videos are great!
Good luck,
K.