Unsupervised Kids

I have always believed that anonymous letters are for cowards. If you have something important to say to this mom/dad, ring the doorbell and say it. Otherwise, leave it alone.

I do agree that 3 years old is too young to be out without an adult supervising. I guess they are expecting the 7 yo to supervise...weird.

No - Do not send that letter. I can see that you are concerned for their well being and I am hip to the concept of "it takes a village to raise a child". But that sort of "raising" should be done in person not via a terrorizing anonymous letter. If your concern is strong enough you must be strong enough to knock on her door.

Well I can see your point. Had it been me and I saw the boy pull his pants down to pee, I would have walked back home with him and told the parent "I'm sorry but I asked your son to come home because he started to urinate in the park." I would have done the same thing when the child ran in front of my car. Walked her home and told the parent “I’m so sorry but I just had to come tell you that your little one just ran in front of my car and I almost hit her! Can you just make sure she is o.k. because I’m sure she is scared”…sounding concerned….

Hopefully they would be embarrassed and either realize they cannot leave them unsupervised or give you their reason for having the 7 y/o in charge of the little ones. What I'm guessing is that the parent sees all the adults there during soccer and figures their kids will be o.k. I've been to many soccer practices for my kids and there are tons of other ppl at the park during practice. That's just one guess. That they went home at 6:40 almost tells me the parent told them once the park starts to empty (no more kids or adults) they need to come home.

I wouldn't jump to conclusions though. Maybe they can see their kids, maybe she has an infant at home and has her hands full…who knows. Their parenting style may not be like yours (or mine for that matter) but it’s their style of parenting nonetheless.

I also agree with SomerG's response...

Is it possible that you may be overreacting? We lived adjacent to a park for a while and I always let my kids go play in the park. They were 7 and 4. Maybe it was a bit different, since our backyard opened up into the park - no street to cross. Also, I did check on them - I was able to see them from inside my house. The 7 year old always took good care of his little brother.
Are you sure they cannot see the children from the house?
I would be very reluctant to get the police involved in such a matter. Parents have their own comfort zone when it comes to letting kids play outside.

Yeah--sorry a 7 yo is NOT able to supervise a 3 yo and two 4 yo's! I'd definitely send the letter, at the very least. I just might make it my business to be in the park for the next offense and THEN call the police OR trot them over to their house and knock on the door.....depending on your comfort level with either option. Some people!

It's not easy but I would have walked the kids home after practice, rang the bell and talked to the adult in charge. The kid running in front of the car is serious neglect on the guardian's part. The boy peeing in the park is a nuisance but not a threat to his life. I wish you would have called CPS during one of those eve that they were there alone, after dark. Who knows what the home situation is like. It could be that a babysitter is supposed to be watching them or the mom is hopped up on Zanax and vodka and passed out on the couch. Sounds precarious to me.

While I personally would not make a 7 year old try to supervise so many little sibs or kids that young, I think calling the police is a little premature. If you are really seriously concerned, I would go and speak to the mom in person. Sending an anonymous note, honestly breaks one of my golden rules which is "If I say this to someone else, would I say it to your face?"

Try not to be judgmental, but just say that you noticed that the kids were over at the park a lot during soccer games, and that the 7 year old seems to be having trouble keeping track of all his younger siblings. Say that you just didn't know if she (the mom) was aware that soccer was ending for the season, so other moms and kids aren't really going to be around in the park anymore.

Then the ball is in her court- she may just be embarrassed and say thank you for letting her know and go on to do exactly what she was doing before.

or she may honestly have been too overwhelmed with other things to think the situation through and appreciate the wake-up call- even though she may not say so.

Or she may get COMPLETELY offended and tell you to mind your own beeswax and how dare you try and tell her what is safe for her kids! In that case, if it was me, I would just say straightforwardly-

" I really am not trying to offend you. I was just honestly concerned for your kids after seeing them at the park several times and thought you should know that the oldest is having a rough time keeping track of everyone. I came to talk to you with your kids' best interests at heart."

If her reaction is to be angry, she is probably not someone you were likely to become best buddies with anyway, after all. By talking to her directly, you will have done the right thing and maybe made her more aware of what's going on. I think she has to take it from there! Good luck!

Just my two cents about overreacting....No she is not, this is a community where not long ago a little girl (8) was kidnapped, assaulted and murdered (possibly at a church) by a Sunday School teacher. Not to say it can't happen anywhere but I imagine that community is a little more sensitive about children being in vulnerable situations such as this.

That said, I agree with the posts about taking the child home with concern. I would suggest taking another adult with you for support.

Yes, they aren't your children, but that doesn't mean that they should be abducted just because people get upset when others interfere. I would send the letter, and call the police.

so these people live across the street from a park and you're mad that they let their children play there? I understand that you wouldn't let your children do this, but these are not your children.

I found your question interesting. When I was a kid, parents letting their kids play in the park across the street unsupervised was the "norm". Parents would come out and check on them ocassionally, but not constantly.

It could be that the parents moved there and are from a different town/state and brought up in a neighborhood where kids play outside and are safe doing so.

Be nice and be kind.

Good luck to you and yours.

i have to agree with sara, if they live right across the street from the park, what's the problem? i used to live across the street from a park and would let my 7 year old go play in the park and i would stay where i could see her...if she got hurt/kidnapped, yes that would be MY fault and i am WELL aware of the danger's out there. If they look like they are being taken care of then i wouldn't bother, now if they were dirty, with hair that's never brushed, nasty teeth, then i'd probably be callind DHS or CPS, but not the cops i highly doubt the cops can do anything since they are not necessarily disruptive anyway, HOWEVER if the boy took his wee wee out to pee in front of everyone, the YES i'm sure some one could do something about that. You might be able to file complaints on the parents but then again in my opinion, if they are not bothering me directly then i'm not going to do much if you accidently hurt the child cause the child runs out in front of you due to lack of supervision then yes the parents can be held accountable.

good luck

I agree with Sara B. These are not your children therefore not your rules so let it go. You cannot tell people how to raise their kids.

Edited:Tori F I leave on a street where a girl was abducted and murdered! I have no problem letting my kids play outside in our yard without me same distance as if I let them go across the street to a park. If you live in fear and let the kids grow up in fear you let those that cause the harm win. You cannot hover over your children it is not healthy for you and not healthy from them instead you must teach them how to be safe such as you do not go anywhere alone there is safety in numbers.

Three and 4 year olds have NO BUSINESS being off of their property without an adult -period! They are still far too young to be roaming around the neighborhood or even playing at a park across the street by themselves. 7 is also too young to be put in charge of two smaller kids! I am NOT a helicopter mom, but I have a 4 year old and I can't imagine doing this. He plays in our well-fenced backyard on his own, but I check on him every 5 minutes or so, and I can see him out of the window. In this case you should leave the letter. I would remind them that it gets dark early, the kids are small and soccer is OVER! If I ever saw them there again, I would go knock on the door at their house and ask the parents what they're thinking and let them know the next time their 3 and 4 year olds were out unsupervised, the police would be called.

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I think that's a good idea, L.. Three and four year olds should absolutely never be left alone at a park, I don't care how close their home actually is.

I would send the letter anonymously, and than keep an eye out to see if the situation changes.