Hi Ladies. So, I have been going to the gym since June and have now dropped 72ish pounds (Tomorrow is weigh in day, so maybe more!). I am at the gym every single day, have radically changed my diet and am seeing some pretty great results. I am having a "problem" though.
For some reason people seem to think it's okay to come up to me and tell me what I can do to loose my belly, or how to work up my hear rate...various things. I know what to do, my heart rate is fine, and I am not asking ANYONE for help. I know that people probably think they are trying to help, but I don't want it. What I am doing seems to be working...well....and I am almost offended that people stare at my stomache and start off with...."you know what you could do to get rid of that belly?"
I am usually pretty straight forward, have said, "Oh, it's nice to hear other people's ideas...I have lost 70ish pounds in the past 6 months" And then I just look at them until they feel a bit uncomfortable and leave.
Am I way out there? Do people just think I am supposed to be gracious? How do I get people to leave me alone short of wearing a shirt that says, "I know I'm big, I'm working on it, I don't want your advice" (cuz that would seem a little rude, wouldn't it!?)
L.
People are rude, whether they realize it or not. I would say put on your headphones and ignore them. Even if you hear what they are saying, just pretend not to even notice. If they try and get your attention, say, Oh sorry, I was listening to a podcast about rudeness. :-)
Wow, I just wanted to say congratulations! I would be so ticked, too, if people were approaching me like that. What makes people think this is okay? I don't know what you can do except smile, thank them and walk away or say something witty and walk away. You are totally justified in feeling the way you do!
L.,
First off - congratulations to you - what a wonderful thing you are doing for YOURSELF! Lots of kudo's to you for taking care of yourself - most of us mom's do not, me included. You deserve so much praise for the dedication and hard work you are doing for yourself.
Now, about your post. I do not think that you are off base in thinking that people are rude. True, some of those comments come from the heart and people do not realize that they are being rude. I think you are handling it very well with your remarks. Graciousness is the best comeback. I know it hurts but there is no way to stop people from saying stupid things. Just keep up with the "thank you, I am happy with my progress and while you have some good suggestions, I am working on a specific process. I am in this for the long run. Thanks for your advice though" and turn the conversation over to something else or leave. You are doing a great job - do not forget that.
There will always be insensitive people out there - no way of getting around it but being gracious on your end will make you feel better and keep you on track in the long run.
Again, good job!
L.
When I was pregnant and even after my children were born (they were both very tiny), I was always stopped and given advice on how to care for myself and them - and everyone wanted to touch my belly or my baby. You just get used to it and thank them for their interest and support and move on.
If you want to go the shirt route, you might try something tamer like "I have a personal trainer" and if people still try to give you advice tell them you're already following a specific regimen that's right for your medical situation.
