Unattended Children

Updated on February 22, 2012
J.M. asks from Fox River Grove, IL
26 answers

Would you allow your 3 children, ages 4, 6 and 8 (who I will admit is Mr. Responsible rule follower) to play "unattended" with another neighbor's kids who were 9 and 10 at the end of your cul-de-sac in a tight knit, "nice" neighborhood? What if you had a door or window open so that you could hear them? I remember riding bikes all over the place when I was 7 years old, for hours on end but times are different now I guess... just curious

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Yes, I would. I hate to tell all the paranoid folks out there, but crimes against children have actually steadily declined since the 70s! The problem is we hear about EVERY SINGLE ONE on earth now due to 24/7 media coverage on tv and the internet. There are no more child molesters or kidnappers now than there were before.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

No.

Remember, it only takes about 3 seconds for a child to be abducted.
Being it is a public road, anyone can drive in and out of there.
And... whenever a spectator or perpetrator, observes and knows... that the children have a "routine" or timing of when they are out there playing... then, they can predict things.... especially being no parent is there.

A 12 year old, in my town... was followed after school one day... in broad daylight, in a "nice" safe upper end neighborhood. If the girl did not have the sense, to run BACK toward her school.... she might have been abducted. Because the guy in the vehicle was following and stalking her. Not randomly.

Some perpetrators, make a "habit" of observing kids' school bus stops.... as well. And the reason is not, for nice reasons.

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A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

Nope, not in this day and age. No matter where you live, there should always be an adult who can visually see all the children IMO.

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A.G.

answers from Boston on

Probably not the 4 yr old but the older kids yes.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

no, not in today's world - it's always in the nice places that bad things happen.

Plus what does a 4 and 6 year old have in common with an 8, 9, 10 yr old?

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

My kids are only 3 and 4 now, so I can't say for sure in a couple more years how much I will loosen up my reins by then (gulp!). I think I would at least have to be working in the yard, chatting with neighbors or sitting in the driveway with a book.
A.

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

The two older...yes...the 4 year old....no way. And I would not lay the responsibility of the 4yo in the hands of an 8yo....they are all just kids!

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I would not. My DD just isn't used to it and we don't really live in a place where that would be an option.
My sisters does lets their kids play like that, starting at age 3 with an older sib (she has 4 kids aged 4-14). The 6 year old also walks to school by herself - every child in their village does... but they live in Europe - not sure if kids are really safer there or not, but people are generally less paranoid - and because all kids are outside, there is strength in numbers.

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T.B.

answers from Eau Claire on

I would. We have around 15 kids ages 11 and under in our neighborhood. We let our 5 year old go play with the rest. Most of the time there is a couple Moms outside, but not always.

1 mom found this helpful

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

It would depend on how responsible the 8-year-old is.

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

No. Only because I know that in my neighborhood people fly - even though we live on a dead end street with a cul-de-sac. I let the kids play in the backyard all they want with the door open. My kids are 4, 6, and 8 - very soon to be 5, 7, and 9. I trust my kids, I don't trust other people.

I was in 2nd grade outside playing alone all the time. My daughter is going into 4th next year and I still can't bring myself to let her go alone. I let her run next door alone, or run out to the car by herself, but only quick trips. Other people scare me.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Never. Its not the problem with the kids, its the adults. I can't trust that other adults wouldn't do something horrible or act innapropriate. I wish we lived in a world where it was safe to ride bikes alone and spend the summer days at the pool by ourselves, but those times are long gone. In todays world--kidnappers and child molesters come on the radar and I want to do everything I can to protect my children from the evil, twisted people of this world.Call me paranoid, but I would rather be that, then sorry.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

The older kids, yes. Not the 4 and 6 year old. I can't imagine 9 and ten yearolds would actually WANT to play with a four and 6 year old. I wouldn't count on a group of kids to keep tabs on a preschooler and 6 year old, personally.

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A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

No way to the 4 year old. Maybe to the 6 year old. Yes to the 8 year old.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

What's your point? Is Mr. Responsible at the track or home?

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B.R.

answers from Madison on

Our older two almost 5 and 7 play with our neighbors kids 9,11,13 unatended quit often, we are very comfortable with their kids behaviors and ours. Now yes we do check in on them and they have rules on where they can go

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

i would. as long as i was completly comfortable with the family they were playing with. the only one i would worry about is the 4 year old.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would. We did when we were kids. There is no more 'stranger danger' now than in the 70s. My brother is 4 years younger than I am and he always used to play with us. We had two cul de sacs on our little dead end. My son is 6. He has been able to play outside in our yard by himself since he was 4-1/2.

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

No on the 4 yr old.
The 6 yr old is iffy.
The 8 yr old, it depends upon what kind of kids the neighbor kids are....

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

as long as your positive that your 8 yr old will keep an eye on the 4yr old then yes I would let all of them play together.

If your not sure how well the 8yr old will do then I would for sure let the 6 & 8 yr old do it, but maybe not the 4yr old.

We let our 3 & 4 yr old play outside with our older kids (11, 12,15) and the neighbor girl ( 7) and boy (13). I know there is a bitter age gap than the neighbor kids in your situation but honestly as long as the 9 and 10 are responsible and will keep an eye out for the 4 yr old even though its not their "responsibility" then I would be comfortable. I know our 13 yr old neighbor boy is very good at watching out for my little ones when they are all together.. its more or less a given that what ever older ones are outside will watch any of the younger ones. That's the nice thing about a close nit neighborhood!

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V.M.

answers from Cleveland on

Depends on time of day and i'm leaning towards no to the 4 yo maybe not the 6 yo depending on the dynmamics My 8 yo is responsible I trust him, I don't trust that his sister at 7 would listen to him.
I also think i would sit outside and watch them for about 10 different occasions where they proved to me they were just playing football or what ever and not throwing stones at cars or heading down the free way to dairy queen or something.

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

Depends on how close I lived to the end of the cul-de-sac. In my town, yes, I most likely would -- but I'd be checking periodically.

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

For me the 4 year old would be too young, so I would be out there still. My son is 7 and plays unattended with the other kids in our culdesac. He is often out there goofing around, riding bikes, etc. We live in a very safe place and I have no problem with him playing outside where I can see him.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

yes, I do actually. We live next to the police dept in a VERY low crime town. We are on a cul-de-sac with 6 houses on it. The kids play outside every day with the neighborhood kids. With my 3, there are 5 others and they usually all play together or at least the 5 youngest do. Between all of us parents, we will randomly step outside and just make sure they are all ok and not doing anything they shouldn't.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yes, in my neighborhood I probably would if I lived on the cul de sac. I live on the street though. I do let my kids play in my yard "unattended" with my window open.

We are talking about biking rules for my son who will be 7 this summer. I'm guessing he won't be all over the place but I do intend to let him ride some by himself around the neighborhood.

Everyone says times are different... but are they really??? I hear conflicting info all the time...

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I am just now letting my 10y do this. My 5y is not allowed outside without an adult.

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