Ummm......sex

Oh my goodness darling, this is like "the" most common thing.
Who knows what it's due to exactly, hormones, stress, kids, chores, work, lack of romance. I bet it is due to lots of things, but I think this happens in any relationship at some point, and sometimes it is a bit of a cycle.
Men need sex to feel loved, women need to feel loved to want sex. We get so caught up in this cycle that we get absolutely nowhere.
My husband also wants it all the time, and does'nt really want to put much effort into getting it, which sucks for me, because I ca'nt just turn it on at a moments notice . As mommies, our plates are always full, we have so many jobs to do and roles to fill. It is darn dificult to go from tending to kids, to tempting your man in a matter of minutes.
We decided to make a schedule that would work for both of us as to how often we needed to make time for eachother. He decided he could do every other day, and I agreed because that was better than several times a day that I was currently being hounded for it. That worked for awhile, and if he wanted it, he had to get the kids situated while I had some me time, then we would just do the deed whether I was into it our not, and 9 times out of 10 I would get into it after all.
I also demanded 5-7 days off for my monthly, and the right to blow him off every once in awhile, but I really tried to stick to the schedule, and it brought us much closer to eachother. Men are soooo much easier to deal with when they are getting thier needs met. I also was able to tell him that he needed to put some extra effort into being romantic now and then, and he responded because he was happier, and he knew that his efforts would likely pay off, where before he would try and then get shut down, so he stopped trying.
So you just need to gather your thoughts, and sit down with him and make a plan together of what you need, and what you are willing to do for him. Tell him what you like in the moment, or right after, when he is most attentive to your needs. But when raising young children, every time can't be amazing, sometimes we gotta just settle for good enough, and when it comes to sex, good enough is a pretty nice experience anyway. Just try to be more open and relaxed about it all.
Let me know if you wanna talk more. Good luck girl !

Wow, you sound a lot like me!! First off I think it's incredible that you have sought out a way to make it better, and that is so wonderful! I have an 8 week old, and I don't know about you, but every room in the home is a "kid room" including our bedroom! And that definitly isn't a "turn on!" First and foremost you have to make your bedroom a sanctuary for the two of you. i.e. candles, some fresh flowers, a little music, clean sheets, a made bed... your area in which love happens needs to be condusive to love making, it's got to make you feel sexy and him too! Secondly, dealing with the unromantic type happens more often than not, so if he is willing to take some advise, tell him what you need. We so often times as women say, "it's not the same if I have to tell him what I want..." To get out of that mindset and just admit that men just don't get it sometimes is a lot easier!! :o) Tell him what you want, and when he does something even REMOTELY close to that, respond! Men, even the most "secure" men, are insecure with their significant others, especially if they don't think they're pleasing you in the bedroom... they need encouragement. When you encourage him and respond to even the slightest advances, the slightest advances will increase! Trust me... Also, make sure you are giving yourself some time to FEEL beautiful. We can go through a whole day and realize that we haven't brushed our hair, put a little lotion on to make us feel soft, or even looked at ourselves in the mirror!! I find when I feel beautiful, it's a lot easier to push those excuses off to the side about not wanting to be intimate. And last but not least, you mentioned that you're "pretty happy..." Make sure that you are truly in your heart of hearts full of joy with your boyfriend. He needs to make you feel like the most amazing you...and visa versa. Sometimes the lack of desire stems from other areas not just a low sex drive. Sorry for the novel, I just know how you feel and hope my long novel has helped! lol.

Hey there well i am going threw the same thing i had my second child 3 months ago and since i was about 6 months pregnate i have not wanted to have sex that is the last thing on my list of things to do. My husband tries to be romantic but it dosnt do anything for me. Im always tired and it seems that i have a permant attachment to my breast, her name is stephanie lol...and yes a headack all the time...i asked my doc and she said to just give it time, my question is how much time? I cant make him wait forever.....

T.,

It's because you're a mommy...and you're TIRED, dammit! :)

I think I am a broken record, and/or maybe I should become a publicist for this book but, I am reading "Babyproofing your Marriage". While you might not be married, your boyfriend is still the father of your child and it might help you.

It's a funny/matter-of-fact book written by three women who have been through the same thing and came through with their marriages in tact...and after threatening divorce last year, my husband and I are getting a long A LOT better and I actually have a desire for some lovin' once in a while! :) LOL

Read the book if you can (I know it's hard with children in the house), it's worth it! :)

I finally went off of the pill (I was on a progesterone only pill) and stopped breast feeding (my son was 15 months when I stopped). I got a diaphragm and now my sex drive is much better. Not sure if it was the breastfeeding, the pills or a combination that was messing with my sex drive. I think it was more of the pills. I have less mood swings and I think about sex a LOT more than I used to. I can't say that I am jumping my hubby's bones all day long or anything like that, but I have actually made some advances this month instead of just waiting for him to do it. And, when he makes advances at me, I quite often think..."hmmm..that wouldn't be bad". Before, I would think of it as a chore. I would do it for him or get into fights over sex constantly. I didn't get any pleasure out of it 90% of the time. Now I still do it for him when I am not in the mood, but I would say at least 75% of the time, I have fun too. I couldn't say that a month ago. If you are on any birth control, I think you should look at that as a possible culprit. Many forms of the pill affect woman like this.

I like heather's response... but I'd got an additional tip:

Move the candles to the bathroom, and hop into the shower with him!

The mere change of scenery could... well, you know.