Two 3-Yr olds....HELP!

I am a mother of twins that will be 11yrs old in Sept. At 3yrs of age you should be able to get them into a preschool, and other have given you really good ideas. However what I remember doing is when I couldn't stay up any longer, I'd lay one on one side of me, and the other on the other side of me. They would make a fuss, but would go to sleep. I'd sometimes wake to a mess, but most of the time they were still asleep when I got up. I have many stories of them at that age, so do enjoy it. It will get some better as they can take care of their selves, but then comes independence.
Hope this helps.
I have twin daughters.

I am a mom to 2 dear sons - one will be 3 on the 16th, the other is 3.5 months. I am not the mother of twins, however, I am a sleep deprived mother - not because of the 3.5 mos old but because of the 3 year old.

I've started readying Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, M.D. I tried it when my 1st son was little but didn't feel it worked for me. This time I haven't made it very far into the book but have already gleaned one item - earlier bed times. So, last night I put my DS into bed earlier and combined it with a SuperNanny trick (found online) of sitting where they can see you but not make eye contact and he dropped off to sleep. He got more sleep last night than he has in a while, it wasn't a fight and today we've not had one whiny, crying, complaining session. He did have to sit on the naughty stool but that was for not listening. And I was able to get into bed earlier which helped my resting/sleeping and therefore my mood today!

I am going to finish the book (gradually :)) and keep up with the earlier bed time. Good luck!

Hello J.!

I am the mother of 4-yr-old boy/girl twins and a two-yr-old boy! Let me tell you, you are not alone! Not to discourage you in any way, but age three was a difficult age for me as well! They get to the point where they "help" one another and trade off having difficult days. Honestly, it was helpful to me to pray for stength when I was weak and make sure that I was doing my best. "My best" can be characterized in different ways, depending on the day, but no worries...it does get easier! I found The Parents' Guide to Raising Twins by Elizabeth Friedrich and Cherry Rowland helpfuland some other books that I will get back to you with. Good luck! If you have any specific questions, please contact me!

All my best,
K.

Hi J.,
My name is A.. I adopted two children, one at five weeks old, and my second at four days old. They are fifteen months apart. I often feel like I have twins myself. Right now, one will make two this Sunday and the other is three. They definitely keep me very busy. They are our blessings. But being a mother will children so close in age is very tough. At night I'm exhausted. And it seems like they can go and go and never get tired. Right now they are both in the stage of testing me. So they see the time out chair a lot. Of course they still take naps, and I use this time for my rest time. I have learned that if I stick to a schedule with them it makes life a lot easier. Also I involve them as much as possible with helping me, they love it. When I need to do clothes they help push it in the dryer or when I need to bring clothes to the washroom they help carry it, etc. When I mop, they have tiny mops and play like they're mopping. I think it's all about involving them as much as possible.

It's very exhausting, but so worth it. Hang in there. I know sometimes your so tired and the house is upside down that you want to cry. Trust me, I've been there.

Sincerely,
A.

Hey J.!

As a fellow mom of twins, boy/girl as well. I just got past the Terrible 3's, and we are now into the Fabulous 4's (so far so good). :)

I can TOTALLY relate to what you are going thru. I have been blessed because Ash & AJ are not really hard to deal with, you just have to pick your battles. Our worst thing is sharing with each other...they spend A LOT of time in the naughty chair.

I think lack of sleep also plays a majoy role in how our day goes. I don't sleep well at night, but it is something I have learned to deal with. I have days when I take a nap with them. I don't care what anyone says, they need a "nap" or "rest" each day...it can be actual sleep or just being silent for awhile, but it does happen.

I have found that a schedule has been my BEST friend!!! It does vary, but for the most part, they have one. We do different activities in the morning and they take an 1-2 hour rest around 1 pm. We pushed back their bedtime to 8 pm, which seems to help a lot. There are days/nights when they don't have a nap or they go to bed later, but it works for us.

If you don't already belong to a MOMS group and/or a moms of multiples group, I highly suggest it. The moms of multiples group is a great help, since we all understand what each other is going thru.

I don't mean to sound rude to any other moms, so PLEASE do not get mad because of what I am about to say...BUT if you are not a mom of multiples, you have no idea what we go thru. Having two singletons close in age is not the same as having multiples. I know plenty of moms that have multiples and then have had a singleton or vice versa and I've asked them about this...the majority of the answers I get back is that the multiples were harder than having the one.

I will get off my soap box.

Don't beat yourself up, you are doing a GREAT job being their mom!!!! I get overwhelmed and frustrated a lot with my two and I have to remember, that no matter if you have two or twenty little ones, they didn't come with instruction booklets and we can only do what we do, to the best of our ability.

If you ever just need to vent or want a ear to listen, please feel free to e-mail me at ____@____.com (as I check this one more often than my yahoo account).

Hang in there and everything will work out for the best.

Take care,
God Bless,
J. D

Blessed Momma to Ash & AJ ~ 4 yrs old

As hard as this may seem, it will actually make life easier for you. Have some sort of "schedule" for your day. It should be flexible, but if they know what comes next, they will really do better. Start with get up, get breakfast, get dressed, brush teeth/hair, chore time. Then maybe game/play time, then craft time, movie time, lunch time, story time, naptime (and if they no longer nap, make it a rest time for an hour or so). Then you could do play doh, outside, school time (where they sing songs, learn letters/numbers, etc.), clean up time, supper time, bath time, story time, bed time. You get the picture...just something where they know what is next. You could plan an outing each week, whether it is to the library, a park, etc. Have charts with stickers to help keep everyone on track. This type of thing cuts down on bickering as well. They grow up so fast...you'll have really fond, and funny, memories of this time in just a few years!

hi J. i have 3 1/2 year old identical twin girls. The only thing I can say Is get them out of the house more now. They will drive you crazy if you don't. Mine were preemies and I have not tackled potty training yet but plan to the last 2 weeks in june when my 11 year old step daughter is here to help me. If you ever want to hang out at the park or go to the zoo or aquarium my email is ____@____.com I have another mom with twin boys and we hang out together alot too and I just met a new lady to town at the park and she got my number she had 21/2 year old twin girls and was moving to tulsa. Ask me anything you want to know. I will help as much as I can. A.

Hi! I know your pain! My boys are now ages seven, five and five, so imagine adding a child 25 months older to your mix and all wild boys at that! First of all, I know without God, I couldn't have gotten this far. Secondly, I know that we made many trips to the local park and had picnics of PB&J sandwiches and explored nature, fed fish, fed ducks with the crusts of the sandwiches, etc. We also went to library time at our local library. I made it a point to talk to the child librarian and she was also helpful in finding things free and fun for us to do. We went to pet stores during the winter (free mini zoo for little kids). I tried to make each place a learning experience for them. I also have a great church family so having their support was a blessing since we have no family here locally. We have a family membership at the YMCA so that gives me childcare while I'm at the YMCA. I'd do a class on Mon, Wed, Fri then on Tues/Thurs I'd read for an hour. That way each day during the week I'd have one hour away from them...huge difference!!! The exercise can also be just as effective as some anti depressents!! Also, my hubby and I try to have a date at least once a month...no kids! We need that time to re-connect. The twins started kindergarten this past August and most moms were tearful...I was ready to throw a party...I'd made it!! and J.....you will too!!
Hugs,
H.

Are you kidding? Three is the most fabulous age . . . 3 year olds are curious and fun-loving. They should be having longer attentions spans, better emotional control, and be easier to take out in public. Group activities become possible at 3 - check out your library, a mom's group, or the local rec center. Head to the pool and the park this summer.

You really should be turning the corner soon, leaving the hard work of toddlers behind and enjoying those preschool years. If you want a break find a good MDO program one or two days a week, but believe me they will be in Kindergarten before you know it - so enjoy!

J.,

I often wonder the same thing myself. My twin girls just turned 3 on Friday. I am so lucky to be able to stay home with them but sometimes it can be overwhelming. It is really hard lately because they refuse to take naps anymore. I just try to do different activities with them like coloring, painting, play cooking, tea parties. If you haven't joined a Mom's group. I go to Mops (Mothers of Preschoolers) in Jenks. It is the best thing I have ever done. I get to meet wonderful Mom's while my girls play in a safe environment with other kids. We truly are blessed because they will always have someone to play with.

Hang in there!

A.

I agree with Kay S. The more stuff you pack into the day, the better they will be for you, and will be more likely to actually sleep at rest time. I know you are tired, I am up with one or the other of mine (no twins) almost every night as well and don't feel like doing much some days. But I always find if I can get them outside or do some fingerpainting or something or even just a trip to the video store-things go more smoothly. I have a 3 1/2 year old girl and I find age 3 more difficult than age 2. New stuff will keep them interested longer too. Since we have no sand box I get out a big bowl of corn meal-they love playing in that stuff (I remember that from Kindergarden-cheap and easy clean up outside)also shaving cream is great fun to play in-also pretty cheap and it's soap so they are already clean, just hose them off! It also cleans the table they play with it on! Just be careful of the eyes. Also cheap paintbrushes and plain water on the sidewalk or driveway-I couldn't believe how much time mine spent painting with water! There's also toddler story times at most libraries during the summer. Just a few ideas!