Twins and Preschool Enrollment

Updated on May 05, 2007
L.S. asks from Fresno, CA
10 answers

My 3 yr. old twins are so different! My daughter is almost ready for Headstart, emotionally and intellectually, but her twin brother doesn't seem to be at the same level, especially where potty-training is concerned.
She is nearly all the way trained, which is a prerequisite, but my son doesn't really give the potty much thought yet. My main question is: should I put my daughter into preschool now or have her wait until her brother is ready. She already talks about going on the bus and listening to her teacher! Has anyone had this same dilemma?

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C.M.

answers from Stockton on

Hi L. im C. and i have twin girls that was in headstart one was ready and the other wasn't what i did was volunteered in the class with both my twins it worked just talk to the staff at school they will give you lots of support it was hard for me at first but when the other twin start seeing the other children like going to the restroom and stuff she became very interested in being potty trained and it became easier and easier she still is a little behind in school eventually she'll catch up thanks to tutoring you probably have one very intelligent baby that loves school work and one atheletic baby like mine. Just a suggestion.

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Z.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi L.,

I have to agree with Carin T. Boys are a little slower than girls. As for the potty training, it varies with each child. My son wasn't potty trained until about 3 yrs. and 4 mons., while my friends' children (who were girls) grasped potty training at 2 or even 1 1/2! Some boys do pick it up real fast, but others it may take awhile.

For the preschool dilemma, I would recommend you enroll your daughter. Just because she and her brother are twins, doesn't mean they're going to do everything at the same time. Just as the other ladies have mentioned, he will follow. Don't force him, he'll have the same interests in his time. Continue to encourage learning and loving him and he'll be fine.

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H.T.

answers from Fresno on

I think you should just put her in. If she goes in then her brother will to because he will see how much fun she is having and want that to. I am also a twin, and I tryed to keep up with my twin sister. If he's not potty trained yet then tell him if he wants to go then he has to use the potty to. It is all about how much fun the other is having and they want that to. I was always like that. If I saw that my twin was having fun, I wanted to as well.

H.

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C.N.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Dear L.,

You need to treat the twins as individuals, and this is an excellent time to begin. Your daughter needs to go and you son needs to stay home. He will enjoy being the only one for a time when she is gone to school to enjoy her new found friends and freedom to learn. What a wonderful chance has fallen into your lap, and you need to take it. I taught preschool for many many years and it is a lovely time for the children of that age group when they are ready, if they are not quite ready, it is not so lovely to them.
Sincerely, C. N.

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A.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

My 2 oldest children are so close in age, the eldest is a boy and the second is a girl. I found that my daughter was so much more advanced then my son, at certain ages. She was potty trained at 2 1/2, he at 3. She spoke at a very early age, he started at about age 3. I put them into preschool at the sametime, even though they were 1 year apart. It, was the best thing ever. If i were you i would start your daughter, since she is showing signs of rediness. When her brother sees that she is going to school, trust me he will want to start going with her. My advice, and the advice i recieved from thier preschool, was they should not be in the same class. Though both my children were potty trained and were in the same preschool, they were put into different classrooms, so that they can learn to play with other children and be more dependent. Good Luck! : )

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C.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Something else you need to consider that I dont believe any one touched on. Though your twins do need to be treated as their own individual, you must also realize boys fall behind girls. Its not a bad thing it is just the way they are! They eventually catch up in highschool. They develop things at a slower rate, physically, cognitively, etc. When your daughter starts preschool, he might realize that is where he wants to be as well, but it just might be he needs a little push from his sister

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D.C.

answers from Fresno on

Hi L.! It's nice to "meet" another older mom (I'll be 41 soon and my daughter will be 3).

I agree with the other advice - no reason to hold your daughter back. They definitely need to be treated as the individuals they are.

Good luck and keep havin' fun!

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B.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Being a twin myself I would say that it would be fine to put your daughter in and keep your son home. My sister and I were ready to start at the same time but we were alway put in different classes. Being a twin it is easy to stay in your comfort zone and be with your sibling all the time, thus the reason being in different classes and expand socially. Plus it might even help you with potty training your son!

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D.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I understand that your in a hard spot, but you need to think about what is best for each

INDIVIDUAL

child. If your daughter is ready....What would you do if she was your only? Would you keep her back and wait a year?
And about your baby boy, would you make him go, or would you just go his pace? If he needs more time, hey...give it to him.
Childeren are so different, it doesn't matter if they are the same age or 5 years apart. My 4 year old daughter is so different from my older 10 year old son. I do know that girls usualy learn things a bit earlier then boys. You should not realy be to alarmed.
You can also speak to your pediatrician. I am sure that he/she is more qualified to answer such a question for you. And he/she knows the childeren.

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J.M.

answers from Fresno on

I don't have twins, but my husband is an identical twin and he said they really wanted to be treated as two completely different people. the fact that they are the same age is not important. I think you treat each child as an individual and let them each develop at their own rate. If your daughter does great in school are you going to prevent her from taking AP classes because your son can't. My guess is no. Just treat each as an individual.
J.

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