Hello Mamas:
I had a miscarriage on March 17th 2011 and I am ready to try again, but I do not know what I need to know or how I should feel. I want another baby really bad because my 2yr old definitely needs a playmate. What is some really good advice you moms can give me about getting started again to ease my nerves and lessen my anxiety? My husband and I started last month trying, but I have only been charting my ovulation since April. My ovulation seems to be very normal with a cycle of 28, 28 and the last one was 25 days. Any advice or know how for my situation would be appreciated.
I had a miscarriage at the end of Nov. I was very stressed over trying again but ultimately decided that I just needed to do it otherwise I would lose my nerve. I got pregnant again in early January and it has been a successful pregnancy so far. The first trimester was hell because I drove myself and everyone around me that knew of the pregnancy absolutely nuts. Just try to relax a little bit and try to let it happen.
I had two miscarriages (and 5 healthy babies). I miscarried my first and then got pregnant 3 months later. I miscarried in 2008, then had another baby two years later. It's really hard not to worry but I forced myself to think positive because I was afraid that worrying would make things worse for me. One doctor told me that she's always optimistic until she knows something for sure. I tried to keep my mind on that. Stay positive until I know different. It was an ongoing thing to keep remembering but it did help. I wish you the best!! Good luck!!
I've had 3 miscarriages so I know about the anxiety you feel.
Just relax and put it in God's hands as there is really nothing you can do or NOT do to prevent a miscarriage....
Best of luck!
So sorry for you loss. I've been there. I know what you are going through.
My advice is this, what I tell everyone - don't think about it. Don't chart, don't take temps. Don't think about positions and angles and such. Just your husband. Don't plan the right time. Just let a moment be right.
It may not be what you want to hear, but please trust me. This 'freedom' track worked for me (unexpectedly!), my SIL after trying and mapping for 2y, and at least 4 other friends.
Enjoy!! =-)
M.
just relax. :) sometimes when you are not trying is when things happen. :)
I'm told that trying does make it harder. But fertilityfriend.com does offer a lot of information. Paid members have access to forums and chat rooms as well.
From a lady who has had a miscarriage too, the anxiety never completely goes away...so what I suggest is setting small goals (especially once you become pregnant again). This means taking each month at a time until you get pregnant again...(once you are pregnant, set manageable goals...mine were get to 6 weeks -had ultrasound, 9 weeks-when I lost the last baby, 13 weeks- 1st trimester over, 20 weeks, 27 weeks, 36 weeks, and last 40 weeks! It seemed to help to make small goals!)
Feeling ready is the first step (I too was ready right away...and know that negative tests/period coming will hurt...thankfully, I only had one full cycle after mine before I got pregnant again, but I cried and cried when I took the negative test after being a day late and then cried more when I started bleeding.). Sadly, people may make comments about trying again right away...just try to ignore them! My response was always "I will always love the baby I lost, but I am ready to try again!" and most people didn't have much to say after that!
For telling people, I thought I was going to want to wait until 12 weeks, but once I got pregnant again, I was SO excited that we ended up telling family at 5 weeks and everyone else at 7 weeks!!! Go off what you feel comfortable with!
As for everything else, what every you feel is completely normal...you may go one month and feel fine and then the next you cry and cry! It's all normal! Good luck and hope it happens quickly for you! If you have any other questions, let me know!
Looks like you are allready doing it. Reading the book "taking charge of your fertility" really helped me when we were trying again after miscariage (first time worked!) Now she is almost one years old.
