Truly Gross!!

LOL!! That is the grossest hilarious thing I've ever heard! My jaw dropped on my desk reading that. And it takes a lot to gross M. out! I don't think I can compete with you. I'm not even gonna try.

that is the grossest thing I have ever read in my entire life. The worst so far is when my 2 1/2 year old was about 7 or so months old. I went to pick him up from my in-laws after I got off of work that evening. I went in and chit chatted for a few minutes. Picked up my son, held him up above my head, smiled while saying "Hi buddy" and he threw up....IN MY MOUTH!!!!!! it went in my mouth and all down the front of my shirt. It was so fricken nasty!!! My in-laws proceeded to laugh while I was gagging and set him back down to go to the sink to wash out my mouth and such. It was so nasty!

This isn't about any of my kids but, about my husband as a toddler. He and his mom were at the grocery store. He was pulling little marble size poop out of his diaper and throwing it on the ground when his mom wasn't looking. His little sister was following along behind them eating it thinking it was candy. Yucko!

Hahahhahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!!!!! Oh my GOSH that is too funny!!!

The worst thing I have (so far) is this...

When my oldest son, now 2.5, was 18 months, and my baby boy, now 1, was newly home from the hospital, I was changing the L. ones diaper on the couch. I turned around for one second to grab a wipe, my big boy had grabbed the sticky, black, poopy diaper and twirled it over his head. He got himself, baby brother, and M. with that nasty poo!!! Then, since I had taken too long to cover baby, HE peed all over M.!

Haha, I will never forget the day I brought home my second baby :-)

wow. this can not top your story.
BUT
when I was a nanny (before I had kids) I was watching a 5 year old boy, 3 year old girl and a one year old girl. I fed the kids dinner and we were all washing up getting ready for bed. I took the baby in the bedroom to change a poopy diaper and I hear crying from the little boy. I grab the not quite changed baby, I go into the bathroom and he is STANDING on top of the toilet seat and pooping diarrhea EVERYWHERE. All over himself, the seat, the floor. And he is BAWLING. Terrified about what is coming out of him.
I try not to flip out and put the naked baby on the floor outside the bathroom, pick up the little boy and put him in the shower.
In the mean time the three year old little girl, who is sort of fragile, starts puking EVERYWHERE in the bathroom. Whether they all have a stomach bug or she's affected by the brothers poop smell, I don't know. She's crying as she's puking, I'm holding her as she cries between throw ups....
At this point, I'm obviously covered in poop and puke and haven't had a chance to clean any of it off the floor yet.
Well, the three year old has never had a shower so when I try to put her in the shower with her brother she flips out, so I take her into the parents bathroom where there is a bath. I stick her in the bath (in her nightgown), turn on warm water, and come back to get the baby who....is finger painting/rolling around/crawling in the poop/puke mix all over the bathroom floor. I don't even know if any of it went in her mouth. At this point I didn't really care.
I was so grossed out (remember--- these arn't MY kids!), I almost puked. But I had to clean up the little boy, the little girl, the baby now, and the bathroom.
Longest, most disgusting babysitting night of my life. I can still smell it in my nose a little.

That was really good birth control for about 5 years.
And then those little girls were flower girls (and the poopy boy the ring bearer) in my wedding years later....

Mama told M. there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this, mama said!

Woah! That takes the cake! The grossest thing that my son has done so far? When he was a newborn I was changing his diaper, that cold air hit and he started peeing - right into his mouth!

OMG, I can't even compete with that. :)

My 16 yr old LOVES red velvet cake and a couple yrs ago she made one.

Well she ate a large portion of it.

Next day she came to M. screaming in my room... "I am pooping blood" .So I make sure she is not on her period, check.. then start asking questions then I recall the red velvet cake...

Then I cracked up, she is crying, asking M. why I am laughing at her because she is going to die and I told her that the red velvet cake or eating red things will do that to her poop.

We now laugh about it but she seriously thought she was dying that day.

Wow! And I thought my story was gross.
We were out to dinner with my in-laws. My son was getting the "hang" of getting potty trained, so he was fascinated by the urinals in the men's room.
After my husband took him to pee about 6 times, I volunteered for the next trip. I took him into the ladies room, he peed in the toilet and I was holding him up to the sink so he could reach to wash his hands and I
(an über public restroom germaphobe) heard a slurping sound and, sure enough, my son was LICKING the top of the sink in the public restroom! I could have died!

My husband and I gagged for you as well...and then laughed out loud . I would have vomitted if I were you! Thanks for sharing your story.

I think you've topped my gross poop story, which constists of M. pregnant, taking care of my sick daughter. She had had a diarrhea blow out and unbeknownst to M., it spilled out of her pants all over the floor and stairs. Once I got her all cleaned up and bathed, I carried her down the steps. Not the normal way most pregnant moms carry an older sibling downstairs, no I went all the way down on my butt and elbow, because I slipped on diarrhea while stepping off the top step and slid all the way down to the bottom, with my screaming daughter in my arms...didn't drop her, but the steps and I were now covered in diarrhea. I cried for a long time at the bottom of the steps :(

Wow! That takes guts to admit that, and I have to admit that that is the grossest yet funniest thing I've ever heard!!!!! My kids are eating grapes right now, and I'm J. laughing.............

Hi koz-

The only story I have that REMOTELY compares is when I had 3 kiddos...and we got a 'bunny' as a pet..(we had thought..and been TOLD...a great indoor pet!)

My second eldest child came to M....and asked....'can I eat these raisins?'

That bunny had an outdoor hutch...too quick for words!! lol

**I have to say...I may never 'see' grapes the same again!**

Best luck!
michele/cat

Wow! I can't come close! I'm too busy laughing my butt off. People in the office are going to start talking about M.!!

That is truly gross!

My sister-in-law brought my nephew to our house to play with my son, they were about a year and half old. We were all out in the front yard when I noticed my nephew chewing something. My sil knelt down to see what he had in his mouth and she started gagging. He had a mouth full of green snails/shells and was eating them! ugh!!!! There he stood, smiling at us with a mouthful of green mush. I kept thinking about how they must have been alive & waving their nasty eyestalks around when he popped them in his mouth. He kept trying to wiggle away while she repeatedly 'finger-swept' his mouth to get them out. We were so disgusted.

I will never forget your longest morning - ever. That truly takes the cake!!

J. a quick question....did your son get sick re-ingesting his own poo'd grapes??? I'm not sure I my stomach would have made it through that ordeal.

That is absolutely unbeatable! I'd like to see anyone try!! I won't even bore you all with the gross stuff my kids have done after reading that. Ewwww!

You win!

Laughed so hard my jaws ache!!! I can't come up with a story that comes anywhere close. Lucky you.

I am so glad I have no stories that come close to competing! That was so horrifying I had to laugh!

Whoa that it so crazy lol!

Well my daughter when she was around 5 months she sat in her carseat on the travel system in the kitchen while I washed dishes. Well my back was towards her and she was drinking her bottle I would turn every now and then to check on her and when I was finishing up I go to get her out and she is full of poop her hands her carseat and her face and her bottle
I quickly took er to the shower and rinsed her clOthes and all under warm water lol then I took off her clothes and scrubbed her and was gagging a bit thru it all lol

And and she put dog poop in her mouth one time.. That was soooo gross
I washed her teeth like crazy
Ew lol

I'm sorry, but I'm laughing my head off. That is such a Mom Moment. Not even the full-family stomach flu on Christmas Eve tops that one.

Thanks for making M. laugh out loud! That was awesome!

Ok I might be able to top this one! Here goes...

As much as I hate to admit it this one is about M. as a toddler. I am told I was somewhere around 18months. I was sitting on the kitchen floor playing while Mom was working in the kitchen. When she turned back to M. I was covered in blood, mouth, hands, clothes and the floor around M.. She could tell the blood was coming from my mouth and as she is looking to see what all this blood is coming from she finds in my mouth... the carcass of an inflated wood tick.... Yep we had a dog that dropped it in the house, and I thought it was an M & M. Popped it right in my mouth. Scared the bejezus out of my Mom with all that blood, and set the bar impossibly high for gross things to come!

Yep that's my own personal gag M. to this day story!!!

wow! I think that one takes the gold medal!! Im going to be suprised to see if someone can top that, cause I surly can't! lol

Wow, mom! I don't know how you got through the day! I can't even remember my own kids while reading this - I'll try to come back to you when the grapes aren't in my head!

Dawn

That is the funniest story I have ever heard.
I can not top that.

Now that takes the cake!!!!

This is probably tmi, but my daughter had a temporary colostomy. One time, it blew! While I was changing her diaper....it spurted poop on the ceiling. EWWW

OMG that is pretty gross and yep it made M. gag and be thankful that my daughter when she was 1 year old, took off her diaper and served the poop at her "tea party". She was suppose to be napping and I went in and found her little table set up with plates and cups all filled with poop.

My youngest son was J. crawling when my dad saw him making horrible faces and said "Jordan has something in his mouth and he doesn't seem to like it" I dug it out of his mouth to find it was a big chewed up beetle!

Oh...my...GAWD.

I work with kids..have for over 20 years.

You win!

I am not sure I can serve grapes for afternoon snacks when my daycare kids all wake up in another 30 minutes....(gag)...

I am beyond words on that one. OMG, thanks for sharing. LMAO

My youngest daughter threw up directly in the mouth of my oldest daughter(she was holding her up like as in an airplane game).........incidentally the other day my oldest daughter woke up and threw up all over the bed the other night and my youngest daughter was underneath it all. What comes around goes around i guess.

I didn't think it would be that bad but.....
Holy smokes batman!!! Thar is gross!!! Well when my now 4 yr old was a infant I was holding her up over my head making all the stupid sounds and what not so she would laugh (we have all done it) and right about that time she laughed and spit up and yep! My mouth was wide open. Sour, warm spit up went straight down my throat. Omg!!! I couldn't talk or anything because I thought I would puke all over both of us! I contained myself and my sister took the baby so I could rinse my mouth. It was bad!

Wow, that story and several of the responses makes my grossest stories seem so mundane! First one: I came home from work one day to find everyone napping. Except my daughter had woken up and spread her messy diaper contents on the wall, her crib, and it was all over herself. 2: I stepped on a large centipede in the dark hallway with bare feet! I was right outside the sleeping baby's bedroom, so I couldn't even scream in disgust. (Neither of these even comes close, I know!)

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend, Mamas!

my son tasted another childs puke while at daycare.

He also ate a wet gooey gummi bear straight off the rec center bathroom floor (it was a red gooey gummi bear) ick

I dont think those compare to eating poopy grapes that would have made M. hurl right away!!!!!!!

Thank God NO but thanks for the laugh. My little one is now 17 years old and no chance of that happening I pray but a very gross and funny story.

Ohh, these are disgusting! I J. happen to have one from a week ago...I was on the phone with my mom, my little one (okay, she's 3 1/2...waaaay too old to be the star in this story, but here goes) All of a sudden I realized she wasn't in the room 'helping' M. with laundry anymore...I told my mom "I gotta go, I don't know where Lexie is....and she's *quiet*!" I found her in the bathroom, and asked what she was up to. Her response: "Nothing..." Ha! all you mamas know that is the first sign of uh-oh! I asked again, same response, and I asked, "Lexie, what is in your mouth?" "Nothing..." "Let M. smell your breath" Eeeeeww, her breath was RANK! I demanded again to know what she had put in her mouth, and so she says "Follow M., I'll show you!" She leads M. to her sisters room and says to M. "When Hayley was sick and threw up, what if some was on the floor?" and there is a tiny chunk of barf on the floor! OMG, I knew where the rest had gone! (Her sister had thrown up a few nights earlier, and I was gone...leaving dad to clean) After I told her that was disgusting, and to go brush her teeth, her grandma shoewd up to pick her up. Lexie calls M. to her and whispers; "Don't tell grandma I ate barf!"

Never had the grape scene. But I do remember the grape koolade and the potty the next day with green/purple poop. It took M. a while to figure out what caused it.

I don't think anything can top the grape special.

Have a great holiday week and weekend.

The other S.

I don't believe anyone will top that story. GROSS.

When my duaghter was 3 we took her to a kids concert downtown. We rode the Metro, which is the DC rail/subway, about a 20 minute ride. I looked down for a minute when I looked up, i saw her licking the window of the subway car. You know how a kid might draw in frost on a window? Well, she wanted to make little pictures. LICKED A SUBWAY!!

Question: How old is he now? Do you tell him the story? Have you told anyone in person? Boy, you can hold that over his head for YEARS.

Oha and I thought of another. Same child. We are in a family sports bar restarant. She threw up all over M., the table, the floor, and the booth. But the really gross part - the staff acted like this happens all the time.

Aghhhhh! Sitting down with dinner...Ok, I'll read this one. Truly made M. gag. Thanks for the humor mommies!!

OK, I laughed out loud at many of these posts!

I have to share my uber-disgusting one too. Still makes M. cringe.... here goes:

So my husband and I took a road trip with our 4 year old son and our 2 year old daughter to Utah from Colorado via I-80 through Wyoming. We loaded up the car with games, DVDs, snacks, etc. and had a pretty good trip.
But, of course inevitably in the middle of nowhere, the 4 year old needs to pee, so we stopped at a truck stop (the nearest, cleanest (only) one we could find... which of course was NOT very clean) I, being the germophobe mommy, had brought along some of those big adhesive toilet seat covers, and our son's favorite little step stool so he would have something put his feet up on (instead of hopping up on the toilet and balancing). I was so proud of myself, I kept him clean and didn't have to touch the big nasty trucker stop "one holer" (yes, it was a unisex single-stall gas station bathroom... ). We washed our hands and headed out to the cashier to buy some gum for the next leg of the trip.
My husband is there, paying for the gas he's J. pumped, with my 2 year old daughter by his side. I looked down at her sweet face and in her mouth is a ......... Q-TIP!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!! At a truck stop?!?!?!?!
Where did that come from? Was it a clean one?? A USED one? Where the hell did she find it? (The floor, I suppose?) I was so disgusted! I grabbed it from her mouth and we ran to the car to rinse her mouth out. I think I actually used an anti-bacterial wipe in her mouth I was so freaked out!
Blech!!!!!!