HI J., I too am a Military wife. It's dificult at times I know. The reason that your son wont listen is cause he's used to your voice, you know, your Mom! See, Dad has that "authority" sound in his voice, that tells your sons brain that Daddy isn't going to take it. Where your son knows what buttons to push on Mommy. Believe me again when i tell you I have been there. Only it was with my daughter. Try these few things ok? First off, don't be afraid to let your son hear authority in your voice. Remember, we're not trying to make them afraid of us by yelling at them. So don't try to spark fear in them, this will only make them rebel even more at any age. I use a little trick called "The Square"! Whenever the child messes up as in does something wrong. You make them stand on the square. My daughter gets a paper sac for her square (& at age 9 she still doesn't like it,lol). Anyway, you make them face away from any form of entertainment at all, (e.i., tv, & no toys). They stand on this for how many years they are. So an example would be my daughter stands on hers for 9 mins. They are not allowed to talk, or move, this adds 1 min for each indisgrestion. My daughter used to try and sit down or cry well she got 1 min added for each time she tried to do each one of these things. She was not liking this at all. After about 2 weeks of the "Square" she started straightening up. Because everytime, it doesn't matter where you are, at a family function, out to eat, anywhere... you can use this. I sure did.
I hope this helps you.