J.J.
M.,
Hello. You are in a really tough situation. If you feel that it's important to respond to her negative statements, it should come from your husband - it's his Mother and he needs to stand up for you. And trust me, she's going to take him a lot more seriously (than anything you may say). I have personally had to have my husband ask his Mother why she was choosing to be hateful toward me for no specific reason (she didn't like that and choose to no longer have contact with us - this occurred over 5 years ago & my daughter is 3 now). But, in the end while I don't understand her actions or reaction at all, I've learned we can't change others, we can only change how we view something. I understand it's hard to not be hurt by her words, but know that you are a good person and a good parent. She just has her story wrong, but she's entitled to her perspective (no matter how off it may be). It would be nice if she'd stop saying negative things about you and that's what I'd have your husband say because it hurts him too - she's attacking His family (you as his wife and the Mother of his children). She's likely to down play it with your husband, but he's the one that needs to set some boundaries with her - I would have him ask her to treat the Mother of his children with respect (come at it from a different perspective). It can be simple and hopefully she'll follow it, when she doesn't he needs to point it out at first just by saying, I consider that disrespectful. It will take time, you may not change her opinion of you, but maybe she'll at least treat you with some respect. I hope so. If not, just focus on your family - husband and kids. Best of luck to you.
~ J.