Tricks & Tips Needed for Getting My Almost 3 Y/o to Fall Asleep on His Own

Have you ever heard of SuperNanny? She comes on Wednesday nights at 9 p.m. on whatever channel is ABC for you, here in Charlotte it is 9. She sometimes deals with getting kids older than 3 to stay in the bed and I have tried her methods and it has worked. First you take them to their bed and give them hugs and kisses and tell them goodnight. When they get out of the bed the first time, take them back by the hand and tell them it is now time for bed and put them back in the bed. When they get out after that, don't speak to the them, but take them back to bed. I actually had to stand beside the bedroom door where he could not see me and when my son got out, just put him right back in the bed. This went on for 45 minutes the first day and the second was 20 minutes and then finally he went to bed on his own. It may take longer than that, but the key is to not speak after the second time. Don't argue, don't acknowledge, just place them back in the bed. Good Luck!

You could try rewards. Daily or every other day...and a special big reward after a week. Or just let him cry it out. Put a gate up and he will eventually go to sleep, but listening to the crying is the hardest part--I did this with my daughter. One other thing...My son did the same thing. I started putting him in the bed and sitting on the floor next to his bed (can use a chair) and every night gradually move it closer to the door; until you are on the other side of the door. And then you may need to start gradually shutting the door. Dawson cried to begin with, but he would settle down and fall asleep and eventually he didn't cry at all, but would constantly look up for me. I firmly told him to lay down it was night night time. It seemed like forever, but it did work. Good luck.

Before bed time (during the day)talk to him and tell him you are going to change the routine. Make it like a special bed time game, or something else you think he might responed well to. Then remind him that you two talked about the change already, maybe he'll be excited?? (here's to hoping)

Don't be surprised if he doesn't take the change well what ever approach you take. He has learned this habit of rocking for 3 years so It may take some time to change. Just be Consistant. Don't give in to crying, or a tantrum, it will only make the process longer. Good Luck.

If you have rocked him to sleep for three years there will be no way to get him to sleep without a strain or struggle. Unless you luck out big time anyone will tell you when you start to get your child to go to bed on their own they will fight you. Just read him a book, sing a song and leave. YOu will probably have to keep putting him back to bed until he falls asleep. Good luck!!!

First you need to be committed to start this with the intent to finish it. If you start to put him to bed, but waiver it just makes the whole process worse and him MORE MORE MORE clingy to you.

I did the same thing as what you see on The Nanny of Nanny 911. Start a going to bed ritual. Brush teeth, read a book, give hugs and kisses, than send them to bed.

If they cried when I left I would let them cry, come and check on them in 5 minutes, tell them I love them and walk out of the room (no touching), come back after 10 minutes and do the same, came back after 15 minutes and do the same. This didn't take me to long as I did it when they where younger than your son. My daughter even got to the point after that that she would get up from watching tv and say "I'm tired, I wanna go to bed" before her bedtime.

The timing schedule looks something like this.
7:30pm Sleep ritual
8:00pm put them to bed, hugs kisses, walk out
8:05pm still crying? Walk in tell them you love them, but it's time for bed, walk out.
8:15pm still crying? Walk in tell them you love them, but it's time for bed, walk out.
8:30pm still crying? Walk in tell them you love them, but it's time for bed, walk out.
8:50pm still crying? Walk in tell them you love them, but it's time for bed, walk out.

My children are 11 and 9 now and we still have a ritual that signals it's time for bed. The brush their teeth, go potty, my husband and I come in, I sing a really terrible version of Hush Little Baby (I can't sing very well) while scratching their back, we kiss them good night and the lights go out.

OMG how do you have TIME for it all!!! But since he is almost 3, can you TALK to him and explain about his new sister coming and that things ARE going to change and that, well, I just responded to another Mom about a 'big boy' speach that her son probably DIDN'T need, but maybe your son DOES need one about now. Maybe it will work, maybe not. But he DOES need to know there will be a big change of course when sissy arrives. I'm sure you've already talked to him about all that. But you could incorporate the sleep thing with that, that he's going to have to be a 'big boy' and go to sleep in his bed by himself sometimes now, or something to that effect, whatever fits your situation. Then of course when sissy DOES come, he'll probably revert back to wanting to be rocked to sleep and WORSE because he will be jealous! Sigh.
Good Luck!

Congrats on baby #2! I wouldn't make a drastic change considering all the changes looming for him in the next few months! (Get Siblings Without Rivalry from the library... great book to help you help him through the baby transition!)

Still rock him, but start earlier and put him in bed while he is still awake. Praise him for being a big boy (if that kind of talk motivates him- which it may not once the baby is born.) Maybe even get a new stuffed animal- let him pick one out at the store and encourage him to rock the animal at night so he "can help it get to sleep!" Praise him for being such a good daddy to his animal and tell him you both have to whisper because the animal is sleeping!

When he fusses, don't pity him- my friend's daughter would cry and sadly say "I want you mommy!" and my friend would say in a regretful voice, "I know honey, I am SOOOO sorry!" This just confirms to the child that there really is something to be upset about and she still deals with a bedtime nightmare years later! Instead, say something like "You have such a nice bed and snuggly blankets (give blankets a big hug) and you are going to have SUCH a nice sleep! Let me tuck you in and get you all snuggly-buggly!" Make a thing of it and talk about all the things they did that day and maybe what things they are going to do the next day... "You better get to sleep, we have a big day tomorrow!" They will fall in love with their bed and feel happy instead of dreading the routine and making it a source of nightly torture.

A trick I figured out to get them to lay down in bed is the measure them with my hands... "Let's see how big you've grown!" They lay down perfectly straight and I show them how big they are with my arms streched out. Say, "Wow, you are so big, maybe I did it wrong! Let's try again!" and then tuck them in and tell them they better get to sleep because kids grow best at night while they are sleeping!

Once you have done whatever tucking-in routine you choose, then I would follow the advice of the nanny and not show affection (or anger) after that and just non-chalantly put them back in bed- the fun's over! Good luck!

try sitting with him while he is in his bed-rub his tummy or hair until he gets comfortable-let him fall asleep a few times that way with you there the whole time. Then in the middle of the process tell him there is something you need to do (close the blinds, get a drink, just make up something). Tell him you'll be right back-you're establishing trust. He'll be upset the first few times but as he settles down and realizes you really will be right back start increasing the time you're away until eventually you are just coming back to check on him. Worked for us. If you do it now don't worry about it becomming an issue when the baby arrives (congratulations!). Three months to a three year old is a lifetime. He will barely remember it by then!

Hi Russelynn

I hope you get lots of good advice to help you out. There are many of us who have been where you are!
Does your son nap?
I had to make a point with my kid to swing him and rock him (just him) in the recliner a LOT during the day. He needed it to go to sleep. I would sit next to the recliner and rock it. Then we would take him to his bed and sit there next to the bed till he fell asleep. I was not strong enough to do the cry it out thing! My son needs LOTS of sensory input to go to sleep. the more we do during the day as far as swinging, spinning, rocking, etc. the better he sleeps.
If you get desperate you can always get an indoor hammock and swing him to sleep :)

Good Luck and know that lots of us have been there.
J.

I've been in the same situation as you. I work full-time so I rocked both of my boys just to get in a little extra snuggle time with them. My second son was born 4 months before my first turned 3. I wasn't still rocking him, but I would lay down with him until he fell asleep. Finally I had had enough, there was just too much to do, so I started to tell him I had something to do and I'd be right back to check on him. It always worked and even now, he just turned 5, he still says every night that he wants me to come back and check on him before I go to bed. Which I would do anyway. I got lucky with my second one, he is very big and just decided one night not long after he turned 2 that he was ready to lay down by himself. It made bedtime so much easier! Then my dad came in town to visit a couple of months ago and we put both boys in the same room to sleep. It totally messed up my little ones sleeping and I had to start rocking him again for a little while. He's back to laying down on his own again, but now he likes to take a small toy with him. Obviously every child is different you'll just have to see what works best for yours.

I followed the steps in the sleep lady's book titled "Good Night, Sleep Tight". You may want to purchase it.

http://www.sleeplady.com/

When my son was about 2.7 years old, I decided to stop laying with him to get him to fall asleep.

The process was very tough. I hope you have someone with you to help you. It took about 2 weeks and about a week of me sleeping in a sleeping bad in the hall outside his room. We also put a gate on his door so he can't get out but the door can stay open.

It's worth it in the end ..... but you have to stay tough.

My 6 yr old daughter was the same way when she was about 3. I also had a 1 yr old son, who liked to be rocked to sleep. I would sit on the couch, holding my son, and let my 3 yr old lay beside me on the couch until she went to sleep. Then I would carry her to bed. With you being pregnant, that may not be so easy to carry him. When I was ready for my 3 yr old to start going to sleep in her bed by herself, it took about a week or 1 1/2 wks to get her to do this. I would take a kitchen chair into her room and put it beside her bed. I would sit by her bed until she went to sleep. After a few nights, I would sit by her bed for a few minutes, then tell her I need to go check on her brother and I would be back in a few minutes. I would leave the room and check on her brother, making sure that I was back in her room a few minutes later. Each night I would stay out of her room longer. After about a week or not much longer, I was able to put her to bed and not sit by her til she fell asleep.

You need to change your bedtime routine. Our bedtime routine is this...bath, brush teeth, glass of milk, 1-2 books, turn on soothing music in their room, put him in bed, leave the door open so that he can hear me doing the dishes. Put him back in bed, tuck him in, and give him a kiss if he gets out of bed. If he gets out of bed too many time--too many depends on your tolerance level that day--then I go to bed. Turn off all the lights in the house except his night light and go to bed. Then I set my alarm for half an hour to an hour earlier the next day and get up and do what I didn't get done the night before.

u need to get him on a set schedule and establish a set nap time and give him a favorite toy or blanket and it works for my 2 grandchildren

What type of bed does he sleep in, is it a toddler bed or a twin bed? If it is a toddler bed, try playing some soft music for him with dim lights, if it is a twin bed, try laying down with him and tell him a story, sing to him or play soft music.
I am a mother of 3 grown girls and the grandmother of 5 and I have my youngest daughter living back home with her 4 year old son(turned 4 today) and in order to get him to go to sleep, while mommy was at work, I would put him in my bed and lay down with him and sing to him.
With you working full time and being a student is hard(my daughter just started nursing school, so I know what you are feeling)just hang in there, it will work out.

gentle ways to stop bedtime battles and improve your child's sleep for toddlers and preschoolers book. Author Elizabeth Pantely available in amazon, borders or your local library.

It is the best book, I have read a gain" Duermete Nino" in Spanish.. I know there is an English version available in amazon.

Good luck and lots of patience... it is a work in progress
Best wishes
Viv

Hi Russelynn:)
I am sorry I do not have any advice to give you since our 3 year old does not go to sleep on his own either. We did cry it out with him when he was 6 months old,and he's been a great sleeper till he learned how to get out of the crib at 21 months. After that we always had to lay down with him(maybe an option for you, easier than rocking). Back then even laying down with him was a pain, since he just wanted to play around with us. But now at 3, he's old enough to understand that it's time to go to bed and it only takes 2-5 min, so I do not mind. Now our second son just learned how to get out of the crib last month at 15 months, we decided no way we will be going through the same thing with him. SO we cleared out the room(nothing but the mattress and couple of toys,covered outlets and all that safety stuff, put covers on the knobs so he can't get out and built in gate at the door). We just put him in with his teddy, say goodnight and close the door.He's doing wonderfully.After he goes to sleep I open the door so we can hear him (with the gate in the doorway though)I think it's a lot harder letting them cry it out the older they get, since it takes a LOT LONGER for them to learn.
We tried with our 3 year old, but it was just not worth it for us compare to 2-5 min it takes to lay down with him.
That's really the only thing I can think of.It might even be hard for him to give up rocking with new sister coming,since his life is going to change so much. I am sure you will get some great advice here.