Transitioning After a Vacation

You can't entertain her and keep her happy 24/7. My mom always tells my kids, if you're bored, that's on you, you need to do something about it. Give her a day to relax and then don't let her start complaining. When my son does this, I tell him to go lay down until he feels better because he's making me sad with his whining and complaining. Then he usually finds something to do. My 13 yo dtr will be home with me this summer and I already told her we are going to be cleaning, cooking and learning things together. She is actually excited about it. I even told her I'd get the Just Dance games for Wii so we can get some exercise (we are in AZ so it will 110 outside). So maybe find some things you can do together also. But really, life is not always exciting and she is beginning to learn that on her own. Good luck.

Love and Logic.

Empathize with her. "Oh, yeah...I always feel like that when I come back from a great vacation. Was the beach really pretty?"

Listen to her.

And then, "That sounds amazing. Thank you for telling me all about it! Now, let's get our chores done so you can show me those pictures!"

Just hear her out. She'll be okay.

I don't do well with whining and complaining.
So HOW do I deal with it? I don't.
Life is often boring, she needs to get used to it.
Welcome her home, tell her you're glad to see her, have her tell you all about the trip and then move on.
Seriously, if she wants to mope she can go do it in her room, and if she doesn't want to do her chores, well then, enforce some consequences.
I have two teenage girls so I am WELL aware of how moody and crabby they can be.
One daughter retreats to listen to music, the other writes and draws.
You help her handle it better by letting HER handle it, however she wants.

Maybe try to have her invite a friend over for the day after she gets back, to help ease the transition. It is hard to feel bored when you're with a friend.

At 12 years old it isn't up to you to make her life fun. I was creating my own friend with my siblings and my friends from about the age of 12 onward. Ride bikes--go to swimming pools--afternoons at the movie theaters--trips to the mall--there's tons of stuff kids her age can do without whining.

I don't know if you can.

I always have letdown after any major event - whether it was a big party, my wedding, a big vacation or giving birth. I always feel like it's over and that makes me blue. Jeez - I feel blue on Sunday knowing I have to go to work in the AM.

Feeling like this happens to people who work hard and are passionate. Those are good things!

I just think you can help her through it. I found that talking a lot about my experiences helped me transition out and not feel so bad.

I've been planning a huge family event and it takes place in 3 weeks. I am already feeling bad that it will end to quickly. But I'll get over it. So will your daughter. Perhaps before she goes next time, have a chat beforehand to set up some rules and expectations. Good luck!

Also, is she an only? Perhaps she comes back and feels lonely? Try to show her a little attention.

Because it is SD versus Bio D, its a delicate case.
Bio D? "Get over it girl".
SD? "Oh, I understand. You can go in your room until you are ready."

Then hope she is NEVER ready to come out of her room.

Sounds a little bit like a spoiled brat. You could guide her to make a scrapbook of her trip, help her do something nice for her grandparents as a thank you, or...my favorite...have her volunteer at a charity of her choice because she is very lucky and others are not. Instill a little gratitude in the kid. I know it's probably hard to be the. " bad guy" when she is not your kid, but I would not tolerate that for one minute. Oh and I also have teen girls (12 and 18), so I know how how moody they can be. Best to not encourage it.

Don't you just hate coming home from vacation, too? I'm always so tired from travelling and then have to face all the chores back at home. Bleh.

I'd give her some space to make the transition and try to be understanding. She's 12 and that's a hard age under any circumstances. If she's moaning and groaning but not being nasty or rude to you directly, it's not so different from when we moms vent to each other. She trusts you enough to be mopey and vent to you.

LIke Christy Lee said, this is a good time to listen and empathize with her. It's an opportunity to lead into a conversation and learn what she did while away, and what she thinks and what else is going on in her life. It's a chance to establish a bond with her while she's 12, before the more tumultuous teens years ahead.

BTW, bravo to you for being such a caring and understanding step mom. Blessings....

You are kind to want to help her handle it better, but well she needs to self soothe and learn to deal with her boredom herself. sounds typically like the age and I remember my children going through this and they were not on nice vacations, just bored with everything. Plus this age group is all hormonal and tired a lot. If she displays serious signs of depression or anxiety and/or other huge behavior swings by all means search out ways to solve it. But if you could supervise lunchrooms at that age, the words boring and bored come out about once every thirty seconds. Good luck!