Tooting My Own Horn

Toot Away, i'm ready to Celebrate with you! HAha women need to be kinder to each other. So Toot Toot toot

One good way is to keep track of your accomplishments on a daily basis even ones you may think nothing of. Document it all on your mid-year and annual review. As a manager, I am always surprised at how little employees (especially women) don't take credit for their accomplishments. I get a couple general statements and thats it. You can't expect a raise or a promotion if even you don't recognize your accomplishments. There is such a huge difference when I interview men vs women in how men have no problem letting me know their worth by past accomplishments. Men are much more likely to negotiate their pay with me than women. It makes me very sad as a woman that we are raised to be so meek.

I think we all deal with this - I know I do. The difference between pride (A sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect) and hubris (Overbearing pride or presumption; arrogance) is where we get stuck. I always thought, and I think we're brought up to believe, that they are the same, but they're not. Pride is ok, and bringing attention to our skills and accomplishments in the appropriate circumstances - like work - is fine. It takes practice, though. For people like us, we feel like we're bragging when we bring attention to our accomplishments. If we ask our friends about it, they'd probably say we're not. It's a perspective thing. I hope that helps a little!

Hi, A:
WOW! I am finding out this is the way of the world now-a-days.
I have found out that there are 2 kinds of people: Narcissistic and co-dependent. Narcissistic people do not have an ounce of compassion, are mean, and in your face.

Choose your friends, nurture yourself, and value who you are because doing the right thing is always better in the end. "To Thine Own Self Be True"

Thanks for asking. Good luck. D.

I'm not sure if you're struggling with when to toot or how to toot, but here is a suggestion for when. Consider these three elements of each accomplishment - the expectation, the observation and the impact - to make sure that it's worth a little self-love ;)
- The expectation can be several things - an organizational goal, an individual goal (often more valid if it's placed on you by a manager or someone else in the organization, but also meaningful if you set it yourself but others agree that it's significant), even a social norm for the group.
- The observation is an action that can be measured or witnessed by others in the group. I find that this part is the most challenging part to identify but the most useful. Too many people toot their own horns when it isn't obvious what they did to move the organization forward.
- The impact is how your action allowed (or helped) the organization to meet the goal. It is important that you tie your personal action to the result in a way that others can't argue about your accomplishment.
I will mention that this approach works for any situation - work, volunteer or family - where you're working toward commonly agreed upon goals. I know that this is already a long post, and I'm not even sure if it's helpful to you. I do have examples that I can provide if you'd like them, but I'll skip them here. Let me know if you want more info...

Oh, if you get a good answer, I'd love to see it.

Here are two articles I've found in the past week on the subject:
http://www.futurity.org/society-culture/can-me-me-me-be-g...
http://www.bnet.com/blog/business-psychology/the-real-rea...

I was laid off last year after working full-time through 5 months of chemo because my sales numbers weren't good. I likely had grounds for a law suit, but I chose the severance package which was close to 6 months salary when it was all said and done.

But, I've always believed in merit speaking for itself, and after 12 long years in the professional world, it seems like kissing-up and "playing the game" appear to be the way to get recognized and advanced......at least in my world.

Good luck! I hope you find a way.

I am the same way. I keep ALL of my emails though. I even have a "Go R.!" folder in my email where really good emails about my performance or tasking go. It really helps when I have to go back at the end of a year and look at what I did. Plus being able to just look through my emails and do it helps. I also keep a tracker of big projects. If i complete them on time and my client (boss) is happy, then I mark it successful. Anything I can do to make the client happy goes on the tracker.It stinks that we have to be this way, but it's a tough job market and people want us to tell them why we deserve to be there over someone else...hope that helps! (My older sister who is the head of HR in a company told me that was the best way to keep track of my performance through the Go R. folder :)...)

It's really important to toot your own horn and let people know who you are and how you contribute. I have been taught that all along, from excellent role models, both at home and at school, and even at continuing education classes within my profession...and this is especially true for women, in many ways, especially in the work force. There are ways to send the message without it sounding cocky. E-mail to others when you want things known. If you receive a complimentary e-mail, forward it to your superiors with an "fyi." I always do this. If someone has given you a verbal compliment or you have something you want people to know about, send a casual sounding e-mail letting people know: "Hi! Just wanted to let you know that the XXXX I put together is all set yo go. YYYY said he thinks it's going to be very successful and will help the company out this year." Things like that. Good luck! Congrats, too, for all your contributions! :)

I would say at work for instance,what do you think about this or maybe I made sure that this got done,what do you think? Unfortunately,many people in the workplace are self centered. If you do not say anything may be your boss or coworkers think you are not worried about the contributions you have made. There is nothing wrong on the otherhand to not be so boisterous. I would be upset though if someone took credit for what you did.
Be confident in what you do,there is nothing wrong with that. Good luck