Hello!
We took my son's pacifier away over 2 wks ago and now we are dealing with inconsistent napping and difficult bedtimes. He was only using it for naps and bedtime and now I can;t figure out how to help him soothe himself. We follow the same routine and he even uses a blanket that he used with the binky. Some times he goes right in and other times, he just lays in bed for over an hr. At night he calls us and starts to cry. I am not sure what to do! I tried letting him take a book to bed, but after he reads it, he calls us.
We have another baby and we don't want him to wake her up...My husband has laid with him a few times and I am sure it's not the best idea, but I also feel bad for him that he lost his comfort item. I just want him to get the sleep he needs and for us to sleep. Isn't 3 yrs old too old to cry himself to sleep?? Has anyone else ever experienced this??
Thank you,
D.
It took my 3 year old a month to adjust. I wouldn't give it back since it has already been two weeks. It will just be confusing to him. Continue to comfort him, rub his back, lay with him. It really is a big loss because it was so comforting but all good things must eventually come to an end. Hang in there it will get better, just what ever you do, don't go backwards!
I respect your right to parent as you see fit, but if he had it Just at nap and bedtime, did you think about weaning him off say not at naps but at bedtime, and once naps were good without it then taking it away at bedtime?
Also my son is 3 and a half and sucks his thumb at nap and bedtime and I have no desire to try and take it away...the Pediatrician says he will give it up when he is ready...just a thought.
it's not that he's "3 years old" and crying himself to sleep, that would be somewhat abnormal. but you took away his soothing item, and it's harder to deal with that loss the older they are, it's gonna take some time. he didn't "forget" how to sleep, he never learned how to without the pacifier, he is learning that now - he'll adjust, just give him some more time. your husband is going to become his new pacifier, and then you're gonna have to break him of that habit...
It may be a habit, it may be a need. What is your need? I need my sleep. Plus I don't really get in to battles all that much about pacifiers and bottles. It is really not a big deal if they use them longer.
I have to agree with Gamma, if it really only is at night and bedtimes, and you admit that it sooths him, why not let him have it? I am sure we all have something that sooths us that we would not want taken away.
Have you tried the technique they show on Supernanny? I used it on my 11 month old who use to fall asleep nursing. For a toddler you would go through your routine and put him into his bed. Then yoinu sit in the floor facing the door and ignore the crying, talking, etc. If he gets out of bed you put him back and sit back where you were..and continue to do this saying nothing. It worked great with my daughter..she only cried a few minutes once...now she acts like she's glad when i put her to bed.
poor baby.
his adult teeth aren't coming in already are they?
you did say he only uses it for naps and bedtime, right?
i don't see the problem with it.
now he's upset and stressed about bedtime, and has no comfort.
We have been down this road before with our first child. She was also three when we took the pacifier away from her. We had to do it slowly.
It was not an easy path to take.
They never tell you on the outside of the pacifier that your child could have many problems from this.
My first child is now 11 and she chew's on everything from her nails to straws to other things, so be ready for more stress ahead.
We learned our lesson with our first child and we never gave any of our other three children a pacifier.
All I can really say is give it back to him and take it away slowly.
I wish you and your family the best with this.
Pacifiers should be taken away much earlier than 3 years old in order to alleviate this problem. After weaning from the bottle or breast the pacifier can become an addiction rather than a sucking soother.
You can probably let him have one for bed time only, and he will grow out of it eventually.... OR figure out other ways to make sure he's all comfy in bed at night. I always laid in the bed with them and read to mine, they were usually asleep before I finished the story. Do what you think is best. I've never seen an elementary school child with a pacifier to be perfectly honest, so I suppose everyone rids their kid of one before kindergarten. If you are using it as a "plug" rather than dealing with the fact that your child needs to just go to bed and go to sleep, well.......??
