How and When Should I Get Rid of the Pacifier?

In my house we made this a ceremony. "Big girls" have to get rid of their pacifier. We marched outside and celebrated being a big girl with funny hats and paper flowers and just threw it away. There was lots of applause and kudos to the big girl.
Wow that was 18 years ago!
A.

It's going to be a nasty battle, but I'd make the transition easy. New rules: Nuk in bed only. For naps and bedtime only. No talking with the Nuk in the mouth. Enforce the rules. Do not bend on the rules. Do this for one month. Then snip the tip of the nuk and the suction will be lost. She'll probably be upset, but it worked for my son. He didn't want it anymore b/c it was "broken."

Hi I am a mother of two girls and what I did was that when they could say the word then I gave them two pacifiers and when they lost them and could not find them I simply told them it was their responsability. After a couple of weeks they lost both and they tried to find them but couldn't so when I found them I threw them away without then knowing. They got over it real quick. However, that was at about two I think you should let them have till then. Hope this helps.

A.

I have a 3 year old that still wants her pacifer 24/7. I just went to a Love and Logic Seminar and began implamenting some of the techniques. I started yesterday afternoon. I asked my daughter if she wanted her pacifer now or at night time. She asked for the pink one. I repeated myself. She asked for the blue one. I said what did mommy say. She said back to me now or at night time. Then I said when do you want it? She said at night time. She didn't ask for it again until night time. I am trying it again today and it seems to be working. Go to www.outaboxparenting.com and check it out.

T.

I chose to do things a different way with our child. I did the cutting method. I snipped off a little on the tip for the first few days. She was still able to keep it in her mouth. I proceeded to snip a little more off by the 4th day, and then the 6th day I snipped it short enough so she couldn't keep it in her mouth anymore. That night she told me that she didn't want the pacifier anymore. We had a few rough nights, but it was nothing like I imagined it would be. I got this idea from my older sister who did it will all 3 of her kids. All 3 were success stories. So I had to try it with my daughter. It worked out great. And it only took 6 days. She never cried once until she decided to give it up on the 6th day. That is when we had 2 nights of her waking up quite frequently. There are times when I fully agree with "cold turkey" method. When it came to this situation I knew how attached she was to the pacifier. I felt that this was already going to be a very traumatic event for her. So I didn't want her to have a break down for a few weeks since I completely took it away. I wanted to do it gradually. I also think that when you take something away that a child is really attached you, you then need to replace it with someone more healthy. I decided to start playing music for her before bed. I had her help with the process of turning on the music before night time. She took to this really well and forgot all about her pacifier.

I 100% back up my method & it's worth a try. It won't hurt anyone!

Good luck,
ak

Hi,

My daughter just turned 3 a few days ago, and she had still been falling asleep with her "nuk" for the past year. I knew it would be hard, but also that it was long past the time we should have gotten rid of it. So, we went to "Build-a Bear workshop", and she got to make a bear, and we stuck the pacifier inside! Now she sleeps with the bear. It was horrible the first night, then gradually got better, and now she doesn't ask about it at all. I know your child is much younger, but I thought this was a cute idea. I also like the supernanny idea about the fairy. However you do it, expect a few rough days, then it will be over! I wish I had done it sooner! Good luck!

this may not help you...but my son had it until he was, uh....3!! not ideal, no, but my point is that if your child isn't ready right now I wouldn't worry about it. maybe wait a few weeks and try again. the biggest hang up is that if they have it in their mouth all day it can keep them from talking as much or as clearly...so if you can begin trying to limit the pacifier to her bed that may help. the one perk to waiting until they are a little older is that they can understand a little more and you can explain things about how pacifiers are for babies and she is a big girl now etc etc. When we took it away from my son (right when he turned 3) it really wasn't a big deal at all...I was shocked AND thrilled!
I wouldn't stress too much about it. My pediatrician has 3 kids and although she 'recommends' getting rid of it sooner...she also had a 3 year old with a pacifier as well. Some kids are ready..some aren't! So...although this may not be the response that you are looking for I hope it helps a little!

We only let our kids have them while they were in bed. Naps, and bedtime only. They seemed to agree to that, and it took hassles out of bedtime. Then when it was time, I actually snipped the end of the pacifer, unbeknownst to my daughter. I just let her find it and figure it out on her own. She brought it to me and told it was "broke." She didn't want it anymore. Of course, she was a bit older than 18 months, but not much. Our dentist didn't have a problem with it either and made the recommendation of 3 years old as well. I say if you limit the amount of time they have it, keep it for a bit longer, we did and our kids teeth are fine, and they are fine. My son chewed a hole in his and didn't want it after that. Once they don't "work" any longer, they lose interest, I think. Good Luck!

Pediatricians vary widely on this subject (same with bottle use). It probably has more to do with their personal feelings about pacifiers than any actual science. If there is science behind their recommendations it cant possibly be solid or there wouldnt be so much disagreement. Our daughter first took a binky at 15mos. Yes, its true. She found an old infant one we'd tried to give her shortly at birth in the toy chest- popped it in her mouth and was sold.

I asked the ped. and he said not to worry about it. We could aim to have it away at two but if there was a question of whether or not she would suck her thumb let her keep it until three (at night and during naps only) at which time they will be old enough to chuck it in the garbage themselves, ending all fighting on the subject.

His advice was to not take it away if they are very attached to it. The reason being that you can very easily get a thumb sucker and that can deform the mouth as well as be MUCH more difficult of a habit to break because you simply cannot take away a thumb.

So be firm about only letting her have it at bedtime (we also allow the car) and she'll get used to it real quick. If its driving you crazy go ahead and try to take it away. Otherwise, just relax about it. Fib and tell your ped its gone if you dont want to argue with him. She'll be fine if she keeps the binky a few extra months. We're letting our daughter keep it until three because we have a baby due 4 mos prior to her 3rd bday and figure she should have some comfort source while I am otherwise occupied- yanking it for good right around her bday. That's OUR plan anyway.

Hi J.,

With my son (who's now 5 1/2), we took it away at 2 1/2 years and I clipped the ends off so he wouldn't want them, that's not really a great solution since a little one can then chew it and perhaps swallow the pieces, but for my son, he didn't want it at all, he would give it back and say "uh oh," and after two days he was fine.

My daughter, who just turned 2 in Feb. was a different story. We tried cold turkey and it was 2 full weeks of hell, noone slept, but then it was over.
I think by 2 years old for sure and you just never know how they will react. BUT, I guarantee no matter how bad it is, you'll be SO glad when you don't have to worrry about them anymore.
I hated searching frantically for them at bedtimes. Better now than later...

With our first son, we got rid of it cold turkey. But our second son was colicky as a baby and he really depends on the pacifier to soothe him. His pediatrician recommended it should be taken away by 18 mos but I can't do it. So I spoke to a pediatric dentist and he recommended that by age 3 it should be eliminated and said that a pacifier cannot cause damage to his teeth unless he is over age 3. And then he asked me if I ever saw my son suck his thumb, which I have and he said that thumb sucking is worse so I am in no hurry to take his pacifier away so he sucks his thumb. I think this is the lesser of 2 evils. And when we grew up people did not jump to take them away so quickly.

I have four kids who all loved their pacifier. We had a hard time getting rid of it too. We started weaning them off of it. They were only allowed to have it at nap time or bedtime. When they would fuss or ask for it we told them they could only have it at sleep time. Then we started not to give it at nap time. They cried but we stood our ground as much as the cries bothered us. One of the kids actually was to a point where he only liked a certain type of nipple, only the green pacifier with a specific picture on it (the Mams). He was a bit easier to wean off the pacifier as we had to get rid of his favorite one due to wear and got everything passable except the picture. He didn't want it anymore. lol

I recently had this conversation with my aunt, who told me that when my cousin (her daughter) was 2, she asked her to bring the pacifier over to the garbage can. She then took the pacifier from her and said "it's time for your passie to go bye-bye. You're a big girl now." My aunt threw the pacifier in the garbage while my cousin watched - she said "bye bye passie" and never asked for it again because she knew it was gone for good - she witnessed it first hand. I'm not sure if this will work for everybody, but it might be worth a try!

We just addressed this with our 3 year old last month...she will be 4 at the end of April. She was only allowed to have her "plug" while sleeping in her bed. We noticed her teeth were starting to become affected by her plug. I tried to say things like give it to another baby or the plug fairy...but what finally worked was I told her the dentist wanted it and was going to give her a present for it. I dropped off a present bag in advanced and her collected it at her last cleaning. My 2 yr old now wants to do this b/c she saw the older one get the gifts.

I would limit the use to only sleeping, it affects speech and the alignment of the teeth...and wait to give it up entirely. Good luck...I feel your pain. Our oldest no longer naps..was a 3 hour napper til the plug was taken..and bed time has been a somewhat of a challenge.

Do it now. My son went to the dentist at 2 1/2 and we learned he has an "open bite". That means when his back teeth are touching, his front teeth don't. This happened because his teeth grew in a way to accomodate the pacifier. It's not like he used it all the time, because before he turned 1 we started leaving the paci in his bed and he only had it at naptime and bedtime. Now he will definitely need braces, and possibly further bite corection. Our dentist said it should be gone by 1 year. Too bad our 1st visit was at 2.5! We took it away the day we went to the dentist, and it really hasn't been as bad as we thought. He hasn't asked for it, though he wakes more than he used to. I would either try cutting it like someone else suggested, or cold turkey. If she gets it back after she cries a while you are teaching her that crying will get her what she wants and she'll do more of it. You can also try replacing it with a stuffed animal or blanket, though it didn't realy work for us. I know it's not easy. I was so afraid to take it away- that's why our son had his too long- but it may not be as bad as you think. That's what most people seem to say. Good luck!

A friend shared this idea with us and it worked like a charm. We were down to bedtime pacifier use for our 14 month old. My friend said to cut the tip off of her pacifires and to offer it to her like usual. When she didn't get the sucking sensation from it she just spit it out. She fussed of course so we gave it to her again and she wanted nothing to do with it. We offered it to her again the next night, but she refused it. It did take 1-2 weeks for her to learn to get to sleep without her pacifire which wasn't pleasant, but we stuck with it. When she was 3 years old I told her this same story and she thought it was hilarious! Good luck!

I hate to say it but the best way is to make sure they ALL go in the outside garbage (so you aren't tempted to rescue it). You will have to put up with the fussing for a week but then things should calm down. I have always recommended to moms that they not start babies on pacifiers at all because it is one more thing to break them from!
Stick with it, grit your teeth and good luck. =)

My son always hated pacifiers so we didn't have this problem (he is a thumb sucker), but I heard a trick where you keep giving the child new "big girl" things they are now allowed to do that babies cannot (eating certain foods, watching cartoons, whatever) and then not let her do those things when she wants her pacifier (teaching her that she can't do both baby and big girl things). Then when she decides she really wants to be a big girl, she "donates" her pacifier to a baby. you can wrap it in a box like you are going to mail it for her. I heard this works well. Although I have heard it more for bottle use and the kids were a little closer to 2 yrs old. Hope that helps. :)

I made it a game with my son. I would get him up in the morning and out of his crib. I let him keep the pacifier until we finished getting dressed. Then I would tell him, "O.kay! Let's see if you can get that pacifier back into your bed by yourself." It took a few days, but he got the hang of the game and would start to look forward to it. I would finish getting him dressed and then he would run over to his crib and toss the pacifier over the rail as hard as he could. I let him have them at nap time and bed time only and he quickly had no problem with that arrangement. Once in awhile he would ask for it back after he tossed it in the bed, but I just said, "No. We'll get it back at nap time. Let's go have some breakfast or play with your cars." (Or whatever might distract him.) I hope this helps.

I would say first and foremost, DON'T WORRY about it. It is not that big of a deal, and she will eventually be done with it. However, if you're going to commit, you have to be FIRM, as with anything. She will scream and tantrum and make you think you're the worst parent in creation. This is what kids do--It WILL get worse before it gets better. However, you have to stand strong. Tenderly say, "Oh, I know this is hard and you want your paci, but it's all done now! I'm sorry! Love you..." and walk away. Once she sees the crying won't work she'll give up. She might even regress at night and "cry it out" again for 45 minutes for a couple of nights. Remember, it's hurting you more than her. It might take a while longer than you'd hoped, but you WILL win when you stand strong. And she'll just end up respecting you more for it! Kids need boundries. She doesn't have to like it, but you'll also be setting a future precedent that you mean business. Often times it's the parent who has more trouble with these situations than the child! You can try the "paci fairy" donation thing too if she's cognizant enough yet to understand (see Jennifer R's response). Trust me, I have a very compliant, sensitive, "easy" child and a hellraiser. I've been through both reponses, but stay strong, Mom, and you'll prevail! Good luck.

Hi J.-I used to have an in home daycare for 8 years and I have four children-2 of them used pacifiers. For both children we took them to the lake or the pond where they had ducks or geese and we had our daughters give their pacifiers to the momma ducks for the babies...it worked great...it all depends on the child but when they can give something of theirs away for the good of something or someone else it makes them feel very proud!!

Good luck!!

T.

I asked our dentist about this when my now almost 12 year old was a young child. He said that pacifiers dont start causing problems with a childs mouth until they are about 4 or 5. This opinion may have changed,... and it may not be shared by all dentists of course, but we waited to take the pacifier away until we were able to reason with her. She really sought comfort in her 'sucker' and only used it at bedtime, so she wasn't walking aorund all day with it in. When it was time to give it up, we decided to start her young in understanding about those less fortunate, and we let her 'donate' them to a baby who needed them... of course this was a make believe donation, she didn't know any differently... but we decided to exploit her good nature...she felt good for helping out a baby who needed a sucker but didn't have any. When she cried I would say 'honey, we gave all your pacifiers to a new baby who needs them more than you do' - incidentally, she did create a new fixation on her own, to replace that comfort item. I do really believe it is important that they have a comfort item for as long as they need it. She is in 6th grade, and she still has a teddy bear that she sleeps with...

So, we went cold turkey I guess... but we waited longer.

p.s. - her teeth are beautiful and straight.

Your doctor is right. The pacifier will seriously affect her teeth. Speaking as a former thumb sucker that caused HUGE overbite damage to my teeth as a kid.

Conveniently lose the pacifiers. First narrow the usage to sleep time only, and then somehow lose them...your daughter will forget about it. You don't want a 2 year old walking around with a pacifier.

It's kind of like when you have to let the baby cry herself to sleep sometimes cause she expects to be picked up. Have to ween her away from it.

We were lucky with our son, we didn't do it on purpose but did misplace his pacifier and he forgot about it...so three days later when I found it and realized he was fine without it...I hid them. He was fine and survived.

I got rid of my daughters when she was 15 months by cutting a slit in it. When she asked for it I would still give it to her and when she put it in her mouth she would take it right out and say "broken" and give it back to me. She would continue to ask for it for a few days and everytime I gave it to her she didn't like that it was "broken" so she just stopped asking for it on her own. It's worth a try!

I know this is not what you want to hear, but I would have to agree with Mandy...cold turkey. When my son was about 14 mos or so, we couldn't find a pacifier anywhere in the house so we took that opportunity to call it quits...and that was the end of it. For a while he would steal them from friends when we would have playdates, but now he doesn't seem to care anymore (he's 19mos now). I know it seems so terrible to take something away that they want so badly, but in the long run i think it's best. I know every child is different but this route really seemed to work best for us. good luck.

I am a nanny and my Mon. thru Fri. baby was also VERY attatched to his pacifier. We started keeping all (he had 5) of his pacifiers in his crib (out of reach) and he could only have them only at nap and bedtime. After a month or so he lost interest in them and it was O.K. for us to throw them away. Of course we talked about how he didn't need them, was not a baby but a big boy etc. daily during that month or so. Good Luck, as with everything in childrearing give LOTS of encouragement.

Hi J.,
We had to get rid of the paci with all 3 of our kids (they are now 22, 17 & 12). It was so hard but so worth it.
With our oldest, we simply told her the doctor said it was time for her 'dadoo' to go & had her throw it in the garbage. Then my husband tied up the garbage bag & they walked out to the dumpster together to throw it away. She was just over two at the time. The next 2-3 days were hard but we made it.
Our other two simply lost their paci's, & when we told them we couldn't get another one they seemed to accept it. They too were just over two I think.
I think it was hardest on me, the Mommy!
I pray the adjustment goes smoothly.

I have 4 children and they all but one took the pacifier until they were about 2. My doctor says they need the sucking until about 3. Now limiting it to nap and bed time is a great idea. It will be easiery to take away. Each one of the children have been different. My 1st I tried everything the books said and none worked. We were down to one and kept telling her she was goning to loose it. This went on for about 6 mon. She finally droped it and when she wasn't looking I took it and told her she lost it. She only asked about it a couple of time and i told her she lost it and she was ok. My 2nd child wasn't really attached so when he was 16 mo I found out I was going to have another baby and didn't want two with it so I took it a way. He cried but he did that any way. My 3rd is a very head strong boy and at about 2 1/2 he got mad and threw it at me. I took it a way and told him he could not have it back. Now with my 2 year old I have just started in the last week limmited it nap and bed time. He seems to do ok but he dose ask me to give it back now sometimes. But if I tell him at nap time or bed time. He'll cry and I try to get him to play with something or ignor him until he finds something to do. It's not useley very long. I do know no one has every on to College with one. I hope this helps. I'am also be a child care provided for 17 years and I have alway limited them from having them excet at nap time. They never ask me for it but as soon as mom gets there they go get it. So children need that security more with moms. Doesn't that make us feel good. I think its that they just know how to pull at are heart strings. Hope this helps

Here's what worked for us and our son...

At about 18mo, we began making the pacifier only for night and naptime. He didn't have a problem with this, in fact began taking out his paci as he would wake up in the morning. Encouraging him to take it out himself helped.

He's now 23 mo, and just last week Friday, we went cold turkey at night. He certainly fought it, and the first two nights, cried almost to exhaustion. This was harder on me than him, certainly. The next couple nights, I laid on the floor next to his crib, while he cried a little, but it began to subside. Just like The Nanny, I lay down farther from the crib over the next few nights, and last night (the 9th night), I gave him a hug, put him down, told him to put his head down on the pillow, and said good night. He cried about 30 seconds, and then passed out cold.

We are thrilled and relieved to be done with the pacifier - dental and habit issues notwithstanding, we have another on the way in six more months, and I don't want to have my oldest taking the pacifier from the baby.

HI J.,
If your a home daycare provider than you will know that you need to get rid of this pacifier. I know it is difficult but you really need to put your foot down and get rid of it. Due to it hurting her speech, her teeth, etc. With my girls I just threw it out and stood my ground and I had twins. If they preceded to cry, than they were sent to there rooms and the door was shut.
You could try a way that was on SuperNanny on abc tv. She took the pacifiers and put them into a brown envelope and mailed them away to Penelope the Pacifier Fairy. She had the young boy put all of his pacifiers into the envelope and put them into the mailbox. Then the following day, the Fairy put a note with fairy dust(glitter and confetti) into the envelope thanking the child for the pacifiers. The fairy gives them to little babies and since the child is no longer a baby they do not need the pacifier. It worked great.
Good Luck

Hi J.,

My friend did something very different with her daughter that I thought was pretty interesting. I'm pretty confident I will have to do something similar with my son as he loves his binky (as we call it). This process all depends on how well your daughter understands but being that she's 16 months, I'm sure this would work well. My friend tried the whole take it away and give back at bed time thing...didn't work. She had a tenacious little girl who would scream at nap time and bed time and just refused to sleep. So she got more creative. She started telling her daughter how she heard that the world is running out of pacifiers and that there are little babies who needed them very badly in other countries where they can't afford them or they didn't have them available. She told her this story over the course of a couple of weeks also adding in how lucky she was to have them and how sad it is that other babies can't have them, etc. Then she asked her daughter one day if she would be interested in helping the other babies out by sending her pacifiers to them. Her daughter was eager to help so she packed them into a little box, took them to the post office and just mailed them back to the house. It seemed to the daughter they were going to babies in need but when they came back to the house, she just threw the package away. Her daugher fussed a little at sleep time but she would go back to how nice it was of her to help other babies and how kind she was for doing it, etc. Children at that age love approval and doing a good job so this actually worked very well. And she had a lesson in helping others in need. I thought it was a great idea. Just a thought for you.

Best wishes!
S.

Cold Turkey...it will be very rough in the beginning but if you wait until she is older it will only intensify and be harder.

There is no reason your daughter needs to be rid of her paci by 18 months. If this is her source of comfort/attachment it is nothing but cruel to take it away at such a young age. There is simply no reason. Furthermore there is no worry about teeth/oral structure until closer to the emergence of permanent teeth. (4-5 years). I also want to remind EVERYONE that doctors are there for medical things, not parenting advice, they have no special training ANYWHERE other than medicine. If your doctor is tell you that "she" wants your daughter off her pacifier by 18 months I'd find a new doctor.

Well start out by trying to convince her it is only for naps and nighttime. Then you can work on that when the time comes.

I've always been told that 2 is when they want you to get rid of it for good. Mine only used hers when sleeping. She knew she couldn't have it during the day..and she got in trouble if she went and got the thing. Doesn't matter if she fusses...it is a no-no and she will give up if you stick to your guns.

One thing my brother did was to cut a small hole in the tip of his sons and when the little man questioned his dad about how it didn't suck right...dad told him that it was broken and they would have to throw it away. That was the end of that.

My neighbor talked my daughter into throwing hers away convincing her big girls didn't use nasty pacies. She threw it away and whined a little at night time for a few days but she has been fine ever since.

Someone shared this with me to help my almost 3 year old break of his pacifier, it was well overdue! I snipped the nipple part so there was a tiny hole in it. It makes the sucking action change and he HATED it! He kept saying, "mama my paci is broke!" I told him that means we just need to throw it away because it is broken. Hope it helps. He was a bit older, so that may affect it, but I wouldn't get to worried about what your doctor is saying. I think they get a little to high strung about things like this, but that's just my opinion. He still has great teeth and never had speech issues :)

I agree with the cold turkey. Funnier thing was my nanny inadvertently hid the pacifiers and I didn't know where they had gone. I had no opportunity to give in for any amount of crying that first night! Then I figured we were already a night in so why go back a step? Maybe hide them from her and then have someone hide them from YOU too!! :-)