Too Young for Simple Commands

He should be able to follow simple commands and picking up a few is a simple command. He knows you want him to pick them up but he is too young to understand you want them all up and he shouldn't be doing it alone. You should be assisting to keep him going.

I think you were expecting to much. At that age they will pick up some, but you have to make it a game and/or help. 50 cheerios might seem like a small mess to you, but it may seem like the whole box spilled to him. Good luck.

Hi R.,

He's getting to the point where he'll be able to do this, but all kids advance at different paces. And asking him to pick up a whole bowl of cheerios is a lot for a little kid, a 2 year old is distracted, and think about what he did, he listened to what you said, then started, then looked for praise. Don't bash his small accomplishments, he did try. And he doesn't know how to scoop them up like you would pick them up. But you can show him.

He definately understood what you wanted him to do, but he just didn't have the patience to wait it out. It's totally normal! But to understand if he can do simple commands try things like asking to put his shoes on the stairs, or go ask Daddy for a tissue, or can you give that book to Mommy? Little commands like these are great for toddlers, sure you could do it ten times faster but it's good for them to get used to listening and doing what you ask and they feel so proud of themselves when the accomplish it.

We have my 2 year old get the dog bowl, bring it to the door where we keep dog food, I scoop the food in it and he takes it back to her and calls the dog for dinner, it's so cute, and it's his FAVORITE chore of the day. After he gets the simple tasks try to make them 2 part - go get the toy and put it in the bag. You'll see amazing change over the next few months as his communication skills improve. Good luck!

Heck, my five year old would need help on the cheerios task!!

Your son IS old enough for simple commands, but I think you may be expecting too much of him. He DOES understand, and he DOES respond, which is more than some 2-year olds would do. But kids that age and even older, need guidance to stay on-task. Partially, they simply don't have the attention span, and are easily distracted, and partially, they want to play and make a game out of everything.

I found the worst age for this was actually around 3-4 when I had to repeat myself 100 times. Songs, like a clean-up song, help. Now at 5, threats are a little more effective too since my daughter clearly has times when she is trying to puch my buttons. However, at less than two, your son is not trying to aggrevate you. He is simply distractable and if anyting, seeking your attention.

By all means ask him to do things - kids this age love to help and do jobs around the house. But keep your expectations in check. It sounds like he is doing just great.

By the way, the worst is potty training. I actually liked diapers better, becuase I could just do it and go. Potty training means standing in the bathroom for 30 minutes saying, "Go potty, no stay on the potty, wipe, no wipe better, pull up your pants, no pull up your pants, no pull up your pants now, no don't touch anything, etc..." :)

He is definitely not too young and obviously understands because he did it and expected praise. He understands just fine. The hard part is that the task is probably daunting for him. Explain it to him and then sit down and help him do it. Don't let him wander until the whole mess is cleaned up. And then, be sure to follow through. Was he supposed to be eating and mealtime was not over? If so, put him back in his seat, refill his bowl and start again. He will learn that tossing food is not acceptable and not a way to end the meal and get down. Have fun! It's a trying but fun age.

I don't think he's too young for simple commands, but picking up a whole bowl of cheerios is too much, because in his mind, truly, after he picked up 2 he did pick them up. If he had 4 or 5 toys, you wouldn't say to him at this age pick up your toys, you would tell him to pick up the truck and bus, then praise him and tell him to pick up the dog and the bunny. Do you see what I mean, it they were fruity cheerios, you probably could get more by different colors, but he really is too young to understand why your not ecstatic he picked up the 2. Probably between 3 and 4 you could get an appropriate response for this kind of request, but remember cheerios are small and therefore, significantly harder to pick up for a young child to pick up, and you will probably end up with a big mess when they break apart. Even at 4 yrs old, this particular task may be too hard to manage, though the idea in theory is fine. Good luck!!

please don't get upset with him! he's being so good! clap your hands with him and praise him and then you pick up the rest of the cheerios. the last thing you want is to create the foundation that helping mom means tension and tears.
what a good baby!
khairete
S.

I think it's really hard at this age. My son is 18 months old, and we do a similar thing. I've been reminded by parenting magazines, pediatricians, and a psychologist (friend) that at this age, when you ask them to do something and they only do some of it, you need to praise them as if they completed it.
What I do is ask him to pick up the goldfish (because that's what it usually is), and give him a place to put them. if he stops having done only some of it, I praise him and ask (very pleasantly) if he can help me finish, and I help finish it up. usually this works. once or twice he's gotten upset that I've asked and I praise him and tell him that it was a good try, he's very helpful, and so on.

He's at an age where you can expect him to start learning to pick things up -- but the key word here is learning. Think like he does: To him, a bowl full of cheerios is a LOT of tiny items. The fact he was stopping and clearly expecting praise is good and I hope you gave it to him each time, even if it took forever. I wouldn't expect him or any child this age to pick up every single item each time, whether it's cheerios or toys. Instead, give him the praise he's seeking, which encourages him to pick up yet more, and help him some too -- that also teaches him we help others, when he sees you cheerfully helping him. Same goes for toys. Don't do it all for him but make it a game -- "Can you pick up another one? How fast?" etc. Also, I've heard pediatricians talk about not giving multi-stage commands too soon. "Pick up the cheerios and put them in the bowl" is a two-action command. Young toddlers like him may just hear the first one, which frustrates parents but is normal. Evenutally you'll be able to tell him "Pick up the toys, put them in the box, and bring me the blanket" etc. but not for a long time yet, so go one command and one stage at a time. Frustration will telegraph itself to him and he'll grow frustrated and resistant to your requests, so lots of praise and making games of pickups now will pay off later.

I don't think you're expecting too much of your son, based on his age, but might be expecting too much of him if he hasn't been expected to pick up a larger number of items before. My son is 18 months, and we started asking him to pick up food he drops when he was about 15 months old (food he drops on purpose, not accidently). In the beginning, I just expected him to copy me, so each time I picked up a piece of food I asked him to pick up a piece. We built up to him doing it alone, and picking up more. Now, he is able to pick up all of his toys alone (he doesn't have to put them away nicely, just put them against the wall). I'd recommend that you help him at first, and then work up to him doing it alone. Once my son understood what to do, if he tried to walk away from the mess I would walk him back to the mess and again tell him to pick up the item. I always state the item by name, so he is hopefully learning that it must all be picked up and not just one goldfish, cheerio, etc. Also, if he throws a fit about it, I let him finish his fit, then ask him again to pick up the item. It's rare for him to throw a fit about this anymore.

I don't think you are asking or expecting too much at all. My daughter is 21 months old and whenever she makes a mess (lots of times on purpose!) I always tell her she needs to clean it up and then start doing it with her. If she says "NO" then I'll get on her level, eye to eye and repeat the command. The one thing I found that really helps is to ask if she wants to play (naming something specific) and when she says YES, then I tell her she needs to clean up her mess first. That usually makes her very eager to clean up. Sometimes I have to ask her a few times or ask her if she wants to play a couple different things before she finally says yes to something - but it has worked like a charm. Good luck!

I only read through a few of the responses before I chimed in, and I saw that there were a wide range of opinions about whether you are expecting too much. Here's my take. My 18 month old does respond well to simple commands and simple tasks. So you're not expecting too much for him to be able to understand something as short and simple as "pick up cheerios." However, it is a learned thing, and I do a lot of hand-holding while we do tasks together. Being a teacher as well as a commander. After a few times of showing him how to do something, my son is typically ready to do it on his own. But every child is a little different and may have a different threshhold for patience, etc. I don't think I would be upset if my son didn't pick up ALL the cheerios. But he would certainly be expected to pick up a good amount of them. I would help him, and we may take turns putting a handful in the bowl, etc.

Hi,
I know it's tough witha 2 yr. old. I have one also. In my opinion you are expecting a little to much. If it's a lot of something to pick up they will pick up a little and move on. My daughter she will start picking up her booksa and then sit down with them and start looking at them. She is closer to 3 now but I still have to stay with her to pick up stuff. I do understand the frustration but you can help him instead of getting upset with him. It will be a while before they completely get it. Be patient and just help and guide him. I also have a 5 yr. old and he knows whats suppose to be done. He still has a short attention span. You will learn as you go. Don't assume they know something when really they don't. Go to parents.com or do searches on their ages for help with questions you have and of course ask Mom's on here that have the experience. Good Luck
You can do it just be patient. I know it's tough.
Take Care
S.

I would expect him to pick a lot more than 2 up...sounds like he is being stubborn....but try not to get too frustrated - just guide him through picking them up - give lots of praise - he maybe stops to clap because he wants some recognition for a good job...so I would highly praise him and have him keep doing it...as long as he keeps getting attention and praise, then he may want to keep doing it...but if he is just running around not paying attention, just be patient and redirect him to the cheerios multiple times. It may take 100 times, but he needs to know that you will keep on him till he does what you tell him to - and if not, he goes in the corner. Kids may try to throw a fit, but keep your cool, and let him know who's boss. :)

Yes, you are expecting too much. After he picked up a few of them you should have gotten down with him and picked them up together. Praising him was good but showing him you will help him would encourage him to pick up more on his own the next time he spills. And for picking up toys you should be more like: 'pick up the truck and put it in this bin please' and after he puts two or three toys away on his own, do the rest with him and make it fun

R.,

Your son is not too young for simple commands and despite what others have said, you are NOT asking to much of him to pick up his mess of the whole bowl of cheerios. If my 2 year old can do it, so can yours. I know 18 month kids that do and it just takes patience and sometimes a hand over hand approach. You are the mom and don't let a few tears tell you otherwise. At first it might be a little hard, but making it fun will help. Don't do everything for them. Kids have to learn that you are not their friend all the time, you are their parent and that means teaching them to be responsible. You go ahead and make your little one do as he is told. It's ok. And don't let anyone tell you differently.