My daughter started a new preschool that she loves, had her 4th birthday (party yet to come, but a couple of great gifts that she loves), has her favorite uncle visiting, all in the past 2 weeks...yet she is throwing a fit at every little frustration. Can't fit the jug in the new kitchen cupboard? Bang it and whine. Ice cream melting? Whine and cry. Can't get the dress on the new doll? Whine, whine.
It's not like her. She really doesn't do the bratty thing. Is she overwhelmed by all the changes? She could be tired (different schedule and no nap at school) but she behaved like this before school this morning too, after a good night's sleep.
Thanks for the advice, everyone. I am reassured to hear that it is probably routine related and there are some good ideas on managing her moods.
Lots changes and a birthday are overwhelming her reaction is very typical for a 4 year old. Guide her remind of what is acceptable behavior is. And remember change takes time to get use to.
J.
try to get more sleep time! she probably is over stimulated and over tired and will get better soon. NO nap at school is a big change. make sure she takes a quiet rest when she gets home, looking at books on the couch quietly for 15 minutes or ? Is she talking in a whiny voice or just crying rather than asking for help? if she asks something in a whiny voice explain to her the difference between a whiny voice and a clear voice. Model it then have her repeat her request in a clear(not whiny) voice. do this consistently, repeatedly! and do not give her anything until she uses a good voice. Sometimes we get so used to the whiny voice we hardly notice it. Do not help her with her toys unless she asks you for help in the correct voice. When she uses the better voice praise her Of course I'll help you with that or pour you some juice since you asked SO nicely.
My son is acting very similarly lately. I believe it is because of adjusting to the school routine. Last year he had school 4 afternoons a week for 2 1/2 hours. Now he has school 5 afernoons a week for 3 1/2 hours. Doesn't seem like a big change but everything else has remained the same.
Comfort her comfort her is right.
Make sure she knows limits are still limits but comfort her.
It'll pass. And come back. And pass. And come back. etc etc
Then one day she'll be a bratty whiny irritating mess and then she'll leave for college!
Hi, L.:
Comfort her, Comfort her, Comfort her.
With your support, she will get through it.
Good luck. D.
My son has been this same way, I am hoping it is a phase, and that it will be a short one :)
Dear L.,
A good rule of thumb is: diet, sleep, exercise and some special time with Mom. 4 yr. olds need to win at all the games. For some reason, 4 yr olds are ready to take on the world, and can be easily frustrated. 4 yr. olds, if they win all the games, it will teach them to be good sports later in life when they lose. My father was playing UNO with my 4-yr. old son, when my son left the room for a couple of minutes, my father quickly stacked my son's cards with all the good cards to make my father lose. When my son came back to the room, and picked up his cards, my son's eyes were bulging and he had a smile from ear to ear. Try it on your daughter, have the video cam running, and you just might win $10,000 for your child's education from AFV. Good luck.
4 yr olds also like to socialize, but they can get over-tired. If they wake up tired, what did she have before retiring? Sugar in any form, before retiring, may keep her from getting a good night's sleep. Check to make sure that she is getting enough calcium and vitamin D3. Professionals are now saying hat if your child is not outside playing in the sun for at least 20 minutes a day, and in the warmer climates, children may not be getting enough Vitamin D3. Vitamin D3 may affect moodiness. This is not a substitute for a doctor's diagnosis, there may be food sensitivities also involved, such as discribed by the American Feingold Association.
Enjoy every day with her; they grow up too fast.
E.
prob just overstimulated... when kids have a lot going on out of the norm, whether it's good stuff or bad stuff, they can get kinda "out of sorts". additionally, they ALL go through bratty stages at different ages, so maybe she's gonna have the "terrible 4s"! but honestly, she's probably just a little overstimulated with all the excitement. she'll get back to herself when things settle down a bit.
It doesn't matter what the reasons are. There are always reasons for kids to be overstimulated (or hyped and spoiled form grandparents when they visit at our house) etc. The rules are always the rules, so all you have to do is enforce them. No whining, no tantrums, no brattyness. Except in cases of extreme fatigue and hunger, give a clear warning, and a consequence the second time so she doesn't get used to acting this way. Every so often, kids need reminding. Smooth sailing for a while, then suddenly, some brattiness. Just keep on top of it if and be ready to act if she doesn't snap back to normal on her own.
My 4 1/2 yo started K4 and did a little crying fit last week, UNHEARD OF!!! I explained she could not do that-which she has known and never been allowed to do in past daycare etc. New school or not, not allowed. I left it at a warning, since it was so ingrained already I thought she would never do it again, but the next day, she did the exact same thing! :-0
At home, I gave her another clear calm explanation AND consequence since it was the second warning. The next day, I reminded her to leave nicely and she did and it's been fine since. It can always rear it's ugly head, or become a new phase, just be ready and consistent!
