Well, you sound really involved in many things. Your grades are excellent – more than “decent.” Your activities cover a range of things: government, sports, the arts, intellectual pursuits etc. You also seem to have a good social group (parties) and some recreational activities (tennis) that are not part of organized clubs.
You’ve also shown that you are willing to listen to the opinions of others – reaching out to this site to get a variety of opinions and perspectives. I assume that same openness makes you a valuable member of the Student Council as well as some teams/groups where everyone has a role to play (different strokes and relays on the swim team, different approaches to scientific method and examination, different instruments/parts to make a cohesive whole in the orchestra, etc.).
So, with that in mind, and the general rule of life that there are 2 sides to every story, let’s assume that your mother has some valid reasons and isn’t just a raving, restrictive lunatic. It’s possible that she hasn’t expressed things well, but it’s also possible that you haven’t either. So communication and a respectful sit-down, with no eye-rolling and no immediate “But, but…” form you is in order.
Now, from your list, I have to say that you seem involved in many many things. What are your goals? Let’s say you want to go to college. What do you think they are looking for? It’s not a long list of a million activities, but a few things in which you can develop leadership ability and more than a superficial grasp of things. It’s fine to try a few things at 13 and 14, but soon you’ll want to show your ability to whittle that down and make some life choices. They will want students who can focus, juggle a work load, and develop a social life without being all over the place. You’ll be expected to have some in-depth experiences, with heavy course loads and living in a dorm with a bunch of people – they’ll want to know that you are good at negotiating and resisting things that don’t apply to you.
Does your social group include exemplary people? Are you choosing wisely and not just lured by the party crowd? Are you showing good judgment and choosing people of good values? Are you coming home on time? Are you letting Mom know where you are, or do you think that “fun” is open-ended to someone with good grades? Or are you rushing off to party after party with no regard for the mother who has to get your there? Are you blowing off family events like birthdays or holidays because someone you know wants to play tennis? Have you shown you can say “no” to things? Are you a cooperative family member or do you expect them to drop everything so you can engage in a zillion activities? Do you participate in family life? Do you do chores? For example, a 14 year old should be doing his own laundry, making his own lunches and breakfasts, cleaning his own room and bathroom. He should also be helping with some of the following: setting the table, loading the dishwasher, hauling in the groceries, taking out trash and recycling, scrubbing toilets, vacuuming/dusting the common areas of the house – without being nagged or reminded. And who is footing the bill for your activities, paying the fees, buying uniforms or paying instrument rental fees, keeping you clothed, paying your cell phone/internet bill and buying gifts for those birthday parties? Are there other siblings who are jumping through hoops and changing their schedules because you just have to get from Student Council to the tennis game before running home to grab dinner someone else made for you? You see where I’m going with this.
So, an intelligent and calm conversation with your mother about her values and her definition/concerns regarding “fun” and a willingness to see some your own shortcomings and areas for improvement might be in order. The more you can help your family, the more freedom you will have. As they saying goes, it’s not all about you.
Here’s your motivation: by age 16.5 or 17, you’re going to want a learner’s permit, driving lessons, and access to a car. You want to show you are a thoughtful, forward-thinking, responsible adult who deserves to have a 3000 pound death machine, because he’s focused and has excellent judgment, able to resist immediate gratification and be considerate of other drivers. The more you do now, the better regarded you will be in the years to come.
You sound like you have a lot going for you, so all you need to do is listen more and refine some of your decisions.