Too Close for Comfort? - Kings Mills,OH

Maybe they have seen one too many deal fall through, and don't want to make it known until it's a done deal.

Best,
F. B.

Maybe they aren't saying anything until the deal goes through. And maybe they feel weird about moving so close to you as well, but in this market (at least around here) if you find a good house you can afford you JUMP on it. Many of us don't get to be too choosy about where we live.

Maybe they think the same way you do, that there is a fine line between close friendships and privacy. They are keeping this private for now. I think this may be a great beginning of being neighbors, but not too close for comfort.

Maybe they don't want to say anything yet in case it doesn't materialize. We have attempted to purchase 4 properties in the past 6 months, yet only 1 of them came to fruition. After the most recent and most disappointing fizzle, I've learned to not count my chickens before they hatch.

I'd be ecstatic to have family on my street!

ETA: Thought I'd add that I rarely see my neighbors that live 7 houses down from us. I know the first 2, and then besides that pretty much nothing.

Your sister shouldn't have shared client information, that's pretty unethical- unless she had a conversation with the cousin.

As far as how would I feel? I wouldn't care unless you think they're going to run the place down. 7 houses is quite a bit of space to me.... But then I do don't know the names of the people upstairs in my unit. Plus..... Free street and all.

There are too many "ifs" when buying a foreclosure. Perhaps they haven't contacted you because it may not happen. You don't know what will happen with the inspection, the financing and other issues- there are many things that happen in the course of buying a foreclosed home. Also, they may think it is bad luck to talk about it and then have it fall through. After they set a closing date, maybe they will share the news with you! However, things can still fall through at closing that can wreck havoc with their plans. I wouldn't be mad at them. Perhaps after the closing date is set, your sister can tell them how happy you will be to hear they are moving in and tell them to call you.

They may not want to say anything until the inspection passes. A foreclosed home may have a lot of issues and it end up being a moot issue.

Or they just didn't think of it. Buying a house is a complicated deal and notifying you may not have made the checklist.

Or they assumed that with the realtor being your sister, you would hear through the grapevine (which you did).

Just bake them a welcome to the neighborhood cake and enjoy having them nearby.

SO many deals fall though, especially with foreclosures. They are probably not mentioning anything until they know for sure that it will happen.

You already said it is 7 houses down so it's not like they will be in your face everyday.

I'd welcome them to the neighborhood just like I do other new neighbors.

The finances might not be in place. Your sister is out of line even sharing this info with you. It's unprofessional of her even if it is a family member.

Your sister should mind her business and not be telling you. There is a line that gets crossed often, because people think that "family" is entitled to certain information.

Depending on your current relationship with them, it might be odd that they haven't mentioned it to you directly--I don't know. Maybe they want to wait until it's a done deal. Maybe they want to see how long it took your sister to blab. Maybe they are drawing their boundaries now in order to avoid discomfort later based on expectations. Maybe they aren't telling anybody.

Whatever their reason, try to act like you respect their privacy, and just move on with your life. You'll officially know when it's time. If they ever learn that you knew about it before they were ready to tell you, please convince them that you didn't mention it because you were just respecting their privacy.

They're probably really happy about possibly living near you and don't want to jinx it. Foreclosures are tricky. They're probably waiting 'til it's a done deal. The last thing they want it to tell you, you and they get all giddy, you all start to make plans about being neighbors and then the deal falls through. Honestly, I'd probably do the same if I were them. If it's something I really want and it's a precarious situation, I won't talk about it. Then when the ink is dry, I'll celebrate. I know it's silly, but I can't tell you how many times I've actually said the words "Stop talking about it - you'll jinx it!"

And they can't control what your sister says. The fact that she told you tells me that they're not keeping it a secret - they probably knew she would say something to you.

I bet you anything they're trying really hard not to get their hopes up until everything falls into place.

And I'd be THRILLED if a close friend or relative move onto my street. When the house right next door and the one across the street from us went on sale a couple of years ago, I practically begged my sis to take a look at them. Not that they were in the market to buy anything, having just remodeled their own house to perfection. Just me and my wishful thinking!

Perhaps they are not sure about their financing or if they will proceed with the purchase after the inspection or perhaps just because it's really none of your business. Maybe they are also a bit leary for the same reasons you are articulating - too close to you for their own comfort.

I also agree with Wickerparkgirl - very unprofessional of your sister to be discussing this with you unless your cousin has given her permission to do so, which is doubtful.

As long as you get along and like each other it souldn't be an issue.

Think of the posititives. You will have family close if something happens. Your car won't start and you need to get the kids to school, or can't get home on time you have someone to cover for you. You need someone to check your house if you go out of town, water plants or take the dog out. The kids need a little first aid and their house is closer. Of course you would do the same for them.
As long as you know them and can trust them in your home it could be a real win-win.

I grew up in a neighborhood with close relatives, my dad's sibliings. I remember coming home from school when I was in Kindergarten and the door was locked and I had to go potty. I fussed a bit then remembered my aunt was only 2 doors away. I went there and my Mom was at her house. My dad's aunt had come unexpectedly from Chicago and they were talking over coffee.
It can be reassuring to have a relative close by.

If it were a friend or a family member I truly liked I would be thrilled to be having them live nearby. If I did not care for them I wouldn't be so thrilled. Our next door neighbours are also our closest friends, almost like family. It is great to have someone nearby that you can trust for emergency childcare or to watch the house when you are away. I do not really care all that much about privacy. I prefer companionship over privacy any day.

Maybe they haven't mentioned it because they want it to be a surprise, or maybe they aren't sure if they will get it and they will feel embarrassed if they announce it and then don't get it. Who knows.

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE it if one of my family members moved on our street!! That would be AAAAWWWESOME!!

Do I expect to hear from them? Yeah, it would be nice. However, they are buying a foreclosure so it's NOT written in stone. Maybe they don't want to jinx it. And to top it off - it can take MONTHS for a foreclosure to go through.

Maybe they figured since your sister is their realtor - that she would tell you. Who knows - maybe they are waiting to hear from you! Instead of being hurt about the lack of communication (do you remember the stress of buying a home??? Now add 5X the stress because it's foreclosure)...stop making this about you - reach out to them and ask them what you can do to help!

Wouldn't bother me at all. My doors have locks, my yard has a fence and my phone has caller ID.

H. without knowing why they haven't said anything, it's all conjecture & gossip on our part for the time being, so I wouldn't stress about that at all.

What I'm reading is that you are relatively close with them, and on good terms. That's great!

They won't be right next door, but plenty close to get together weekly, etc.

If I were in your situation, I'd either say nothing until they let you know, or send them a note to let them know you are excited they'll be in the area, & to let you know when you should bring over the housewarming basket.

That way, if they are nervous about how you might feel about them moving into the neighborhood, you'll alleviate any concerns, & set the stage for good times going forward.

But, definitely don't dwell on all the possible negative reasons they haven't said anything, that will just make whatever conversation you have tense & full of bad juju. :) T.

Wouldn't bother me one bit.
There is still privacy, they are not moving into your house or into something like an apartment or townhome where you share walls. They are moving several houses down from you.
It is possible they aren't saying anything until they have dates in case something doesn't work out. They may not be saying something because they are so busy taking care of the stressful business of buying a new house and possibly selling their old home, you do not mention so I'm only assuming on that part.
I know many people that live in the same neighborhoods as other members of their family. I don't know any of them that complain. They all have their privacy. They all still go about their day as they always do. The benefit is they have family close by when they need them or want to see them.
It wasn't that long ago that your entire family would all be right there in the same small town. It's only recent that everyone is so spread out. It's such a shame.

My in-laws live about 30 minutes from us. It's nice to have family close by.

Like others have said, it's a foreclosure. It's not a done deal yet. If Tyler and I were to buy a foreclosure? We wouldn't say a word about it until we had keys in hand. It's a tenuous situation.

Your sister might have violated some privacy clause by disclosing the purchase with you.

S.

Ummm..I'd think they're probably waiting til the deal is 100% done.

In MY situation, I would love it since my family live overseas, and my in-laws live in Florida and Indiana. In your situation, it depends on the relationship you have with them if you like them or not, if you feel comfortable with them or not, etc. Privacy, boundaries or whatever you want to call it still can be kept in an amiable and respectful way. There are many reasons why your relatives are not telling you yet they are moving in there, and that is privacy as well. Just wait until they tell you.

We did not tell anyone we were even considering buying a house until it was ours. No need to tell people about a "maybe" and then have to tell them later you changed your mind or bought something else.

It would not bother me.
For one thing, so many things can go wrong with real estate deals. Until they have actually signed all the paperwork and have the keys, there is a chance it will fall through. So maybe they just are not saying anything until they know for sure.
Also, quite honestly I hardly even deal with or see my neighbors. I could not even tell you who lives 7 houses down. Our kids play with the kids that live right next door, but that is about it.
Is there a reason you feel it is too close for comfort? Are they hard to get along with, or are you afraid they will be monitoring you and getting into your business? Even if you have those concerns, there is really nothing you can do except keep to yourself if they do move in there.

Totally depends on which relative/friend and how close we are. If it was a close friend living 7 houses down, I would be thrilled, especially if they had kids the same ages as mine! Now, my in-laws keep talking about moving near us and have asked about the house next door and the one directly across the street (both were on the market at different times). Now THAT is too close for comfort. If my in-laws want to move to my neighborhood, that's ok, but my street will be off limits! I don't want my in-laws (or my own parents) close enough to see us coming and going, hear me yelling at my kids (trying hard to stop doing that) or see how late I'm up, etc.

If it was a cousin I was close to and it was 7 houses down, I probably wouldn't mind that.

I would love to have family or close friends move to our neighborhood! I do think it's odd that they haven't said anything to you

I honestly wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

it IS kinda odd.
and i'd be with you in being a little hinky about the proximity.
not much you can do, though, is there?
khairete
S.

We live less than two miles from my husband's brother and his family (they used to be in the same neighborhood, about a half mile from us, but they moved to a bigger house a couple of years ago). We always enjoyed having them close by, and before we had kids would walk over to babysit or whatever. I always thought it was nice having them close by.

My brother just bought a house. My SIL (the one that lives less than two miles from us) was the realtor. We heard from her (though we weren't supposed to, as I do think it's some sort of disclosure thing) when my brother had put the offer in, not from him. I didn't think it was weird at all, as I figured he wanted to wait until the offer was accepted etc. before telling everyone. Of course, he's just kind of like that (didn't tell us when he changed jobs a few years ago either). I mean, he chats on the computer with my husband most nights, and it wasn't mentioned, but I didn't really think about it more than "I hope it works out and that we get to hear details soon."

I wouldn't discuss anything financial with others, even family members, and that includes the purchase of a house IF there is any "maybe" about it. Possibly their finances are such that they aren't 100 percent sure this is going to happen, so they are not telling anyone yet. Maybe they even feel odd about buying a foreclosure -- I do know of folks who were uncertain about purchasing foreclosed properties out of worries about whether it would all go through.

Is there more to the story here? You say you only see them "somewhat regularly" so I'm figuring you aren't really very close and only see this family at larger gatherings. That wouldn't necessarily make you the first folks they'd contact when looking at a house, so I wouldn't worry about the fact they haven't contacted you. If it were me, I'd want to ask you about the neighborhood for sure, but they may have their reasons not to do that.

Are you somehow worried that they will be over at your place or in your business if they live this close to you? The post seems to be leaving something out....