Ok, I have not read the responses from the other moms but here is my 2 cents. :) I am a FREAK about things. You can scan my own questions if you don't believe me. I am the person who reads the horror stories about things and assumes that will be me/my child, or who gets all worked up about a 0.01 percent chance of something bad happening. So when I was in your shoes a year ago I was a mess. My daughter had the same symptoms as your son and she had sleep apnea. I took her to have a sleep study done even though the ENT wanted to take her tonsils/adenoids purely on my observations and his examination. I took her sleep study results to the most highly recommended Pediatric ENT that I could find, hoping for a second opinion. I was looking for something or someone to tell me that the surgery didn't need to happen.
Much like you are right now.
However, what occurred was the opposite. When the ENT saw the sleep study results and examined her she said that her tonsils on the scale they use (0 being normal, 4 being you can't breathe at all), that hers were a 3. She told me that between the ages of 4-6 the tonsils undergo a growth period. Sometimes the body "grows into their size" and sometimes it does not. She interpreted the sleep study for me and explained some things regarding sleep apnea (which you don't say for sure that your son has but it is very likely if he has the noisy, open mouth breathing and snoring at this age). Btw, the sleep study, while providing me with confirmation of her need for surgery, is hell. It takes them over an hour, yes OVER an hour, just to stick all of the electrodes onto their head and face. There is a tubish thing in their nostrils and about 40 wires all over the place. They use a gluish stuff to attach the electrodes in the hair which is NOT fun to try to get out the next day. You have to go in at 8pm and your kid has to sit there for over an hour when they are so tired while they put all these things on. My extremely tolerant daughter was crying silently by the time they were done.
Anyway, back to sleep apnea. If you do not treat obstructive sleep apnea (which occurs with the jumbo tonsils) at a very young age (they say before age 8), it can actually TURN into central sleep apnea which is something that originates in the brain and can not be solved with tonsillectomy. Your son could be forced to wear a CPAP machine for life.
The mouth breathing causes a narrowed palate. We waited until my daughter was 6 1/2 to address all of this and now she is facing palate expansion for 2+ years just to have room for her teeth :(
The quality of sleep that your son is getting is not up to par for what he needs. This can cause ADD and other behavioral issues as well as difficulties in school. My daughter cried all of the time and even went through periods of what seemed like depression that have completely disappeared since she started getting good sleep.
Ok, so the surgery itself... no one in my family has ever had surgery or anesthesia so this was a doozy for me. My daughter woke up from the surgery very upset. She was not combative but was very scared and not very cooperative (very unlike her). Once I was there with her and calmed her down she was fine but you could tell that she was super "drugged up" from the anesthesia. It made ME cry (not in front of her of course) because it freaked me out. Big time. We got her to drink liquids and she seemed to be doing ok so we were allowed to go home. I watched her like a hawk the first couple of days, terrified she was going to stop breathing or something. But of course, she didn't. :)
First and second day she had only mild-moderate pain and she seemed to be doing so well that we felt super lucky. The third day she was suddenly in a LOT of pain despite being on Lortab which is basically vicodin. The fourth day the pain was mild again and by the fifth she was in so little pain that I didn't even give her any medicine. I read all of these horror stories online about bleeding etc and I was terrified... they said the pain might come back at around 2 weeks when the scabs fell off but it never did. I cannot stress enough that they key to a good recovery is to keep the throat wet. I will say it again, KEEP THE THROAT WET. That means put your son in bed with you and every single time you or he stirs, grab the water and have him take a sip. Have him take sips constantly throughout the day. It will make all of the difference in the world and reduce the risk of complications.
Having the surgery was the best decision I have ever made. 2 days after the procedure, even with swelling, she was sleeping with her mouth closed and using her nose and I almost cried. She no longer has the "nasal" sound to her voice and she doesn't breathe out of her mouth while awake or asleep. She was so much more emotionally stable and didn't get super tired around 6pm anymore.
I am so sorry this is so long. I just saw your post and really felt the need to give you my own experience. If you want to PM me please feel free to do so. I know it is so scary, but you will not regret doing it for a single second.
Robyn
ETA - When the ENT came out of the operating room she said that her lower tonsils (the part that you can't see when you look in the mouth) were so enlarged that it was a wonder she could even breathe at all. She said her airway was only about half an inch wide. Yikes!!! :/ So I am SO glad we went through with it.