Toileting Issue with 8 Year Old Girl.

If she's developmentally delayed, then you may just have to let her wipe herself, and then check to make sure that she's clean until she is able to do it herself. And even adults sometimes miss a spot.

As for the stains, I learned while working in animal hospitals that hydrogen persoxide is perfect for removing blood and fecal stains from fabric without damaging the fibers or the dyes. We keep some in a spray bottle (make sure it's opaque, as light affects peroxide - that's why it comes in a brown bottle). Spray it on the stain, and let it bubble. Once it stops bubbling spray it again and toss it in the wash.

My 8 year old daughter is the same way. Not only does she not wipe well, sometime even when she pees' she don't wipe at all cuz she is in a hurry. THEN she don't flush THEN she don't wash hands. UGH
I have made a LARGE sign posted by EVERY toilet in the house says WIPE FLUSH WASH HANDS!!!
This seems to help alittle. I know it is difficult exspecially if she is in school or away from home. But, I thought it was the ADHD of my daughter but evidently it's just the age thing. We'll pray they grow out of it.
GOod luck
Jan

You've gotten some very good ideas so far. As others have mentioned, I don't know how delayed your daughter is.

The first thing I would do (if I wasn't sure) would be to ask her pediatrician (or therapist if she has one) whether or not it is an issue of developmental delay or not.

If it's due to her delay, you'll have to tread lightly. While you want her to practice good hygiene, she may not be able to do so (at least yet).

If it's an issue of attention or choice, I would let natural consequences address it. In other words, do not replace her stained panties. If she decides it's gross, tell her that you will buy her some new, cute ones when she chooses to take better care of them. Set a time period for how long she needs to keep panties clean. Then let her pick out something from an approved group when she achieves the goal!

The hard part is getting yourself to stop caring if she doesn't! But it takes a lot of pressure off of you and gets her involved in being responsible for her own choices.

Hello T. B.,

All little girls go through that stage when they don't clean themselves properly. My advice would be to encourage your daughter to clean herself more. When she cleans herself after a bowel movement, tell her to wipe her bottom until the toilet paper is clean, make sure she doesn't use too much toilet paper, then you'll have a backed-up toilet bowel!!! SMILE :)Most children rush when they use the restroom because they're afraid they may miss out on something. Just encourage her and tell her to make sure she cleans herself properly because she doesn't want to get any infections or get ill.

Nevertheless, things will get better. I hope this helps.

D. B.

This must be an embarrassing problem for your daughter. I would not call any special negative attention to the problem. If you have shown her what to do then sometimes you might remind her how to reach and wipe that is easiest for her. After that, she'll figure it out on her own or just get new panties more often. Go to Walmart or Kmart and buy some cute, inexpensive packs every few months.

My daughter was having a similar issue. I thought she wasn't wiping well and it ended up being that she was constipated. What would happen would be that she needed to poop but it hurt so bad that she would stop pooping. Well, this would go on for a few weeks and then she would have a very large bowel movement. In the meantime the poop was trying to naturally rid itself and was uncontrollably coming out and therefore staining her panties. I got onto her several times, and then decided to give her an enema. I did this about a month ago and she hasn't had a problem since. I don't know if this is what she is going through but it's worth a shot.

Your profile says your daughter is developmentally delayed. I don't know how delayed she is, but you might have to treat her like a 3-4 year old and just wipe for her until she is able to do it herself.

Use the toddler wipes so it is quick and easy for you both, and they are flushable. Just give her more time to catch up developmentally.

As for buying new panties, have you tried some kind of enzymatic laundry stain remover, pretreat them and soak in warm water before washing. If that doesn't work, no one ever died from wearing stained panties, and no one should be seeing them but you and her. Keep a few new pairs on hand for Dr. visits, etc. Why keep buying new ones if she is going to keep messing them up? Try using new panties, or something she likes to play with like stickers, as a reward for her doing a good job wiping.