Toddler Weaning - Its Time

I suggest you definitely do not want to start her on a bottle or paci. She is atan age you would be weaning her off those.

Congrats on your nursing success!

I didn't nurse past about a year, so I can't really help you too much....

I've seen cute suggestions here, about putting a bandaid over your nipples and telling her it is "broke" .....

And... btw.... she is using a paci... but the paci is you..... I wouldn't try to get her hooked on an artificial paci or bottle at this point.....

The best thing is to start distracting her from the daytime nursings..... if she is hurt, just distract her with hugs and cuddles...... try to come up with a different routine for her naptime. If she is wanting to nurse other times during the day, give her some hugs and cuddles and maybe sit down with a book to read instead.

When I was done with nursing my children I simply stopped. My breasts ached for three days from the milk but then it subsided. My kids moved on to other food. It seemed pretty easy to me.

I have nothing against the family bed or whatever works for you, but yes, maybe it's time to get her her own bed. You and husband deserve your sleep and comfort as well. She probably won't start using a paci at 2, if she hasn't wanted one until now.

Ya know, a two year old can hear the word 'no' and survive it. Sorry, I know that sounds snarky, but I'm on the other side of this parenting thing and I've learned that our kids are pretty resilient, and don't need half the amount of worry and fussing that we (I included) do over them.

I just weaned my 2 year old DS. :)

First, there is no right or wrong way to wean, and it is hardly ever a linear process (you can drop one feeding a day until there are no more daytime nursing sessions but there will be the occasional set back like an unexpected comfort nursing because she was hurt).

I would start with nighttime because *you* need sleep, and you're not getting it. For nighttime you have a couple options:

You could sleep in another room and let your husband try to comfort your DD at night. She may cry, but she will be with someone who knows and loves her. My husband did this and my DS cried while he rocked him and talked softly to him for about 45 minutes. the next night it took him 5 minutes. Now he prefers Daddy to me at night.

A different way would be to try to get her to sleep in her own room first, in her own bed. If either your DH or you make noise at night (my DH snores) that can wake your toddler, and may be why she can't get through the night. If you can convert her sleeping at night to her own room, with a white noise machine or fan and no associations of milk/mommy, there may be a better chance of night weaning without tears because she could start sleeping entirely through the night. If you do this I would also start off with a full size mattress on the floor of her room. This will allow a grown up to lay with her for awhile then get up and leave, if you or your DH need to.

For the daytime, use distraction for any random nursing ("look! a toy!" "Let's go outside!" "Tickle time!" "Where's the dog/cat? Let's find him!") and for now, keep the nap and bedtime nursing. You can wean her off naptime nursing next week by driving or walking (stroller) her to sleep for nap. Toddlers tend to panic less when they can still count on the naptime/bedtime nursing.

I would lose the bedtime nursing last. My DH now rocks my DS to sleep. We did start giving a bottle of warm milk, and offered a paci as well. He doesn't like the paci but drinks a little milk and reads books before being rocked to sleep. Again, there might be a few tears, but as long as your DH is patient and calm your DD will get used to it very quickly. I was told last night 'go away, night night daddy time' by my DS.

I think anyone who says "Just stop" has never weaned a toddler or is some kind of masochist. Why cause physical pain for you and emotional pain for your child when weaning can easily be done over the course of a couple weeks without much issue? Just keep trying to move forward, don't get discouraged, and remember that your relationship with your DD will likely be stronger once weaning is over because any resentment you may have you can let go.

And by the way, I loved nursing my DS but I knew it was time to wean when I begin to resent our nursing relationship. It happens. You are an awesome mommy for giving your daughter such an amazing start to life with two years of nursing, so congrats for that and good luck weaning!

ETA: My DH works 12 hours days 4 days a week, and still managed to help on those days. He wouldn't be able to stay up with our DS every night for an hour, but he can sacrifice a little sleep for a few days to help wean. He was happy to because he knew it meant more sleep for me, and the bonus was that he gained a better bond with our DS. :)

I nursed till my son was 2.5 years old. Had a tough time right after he was born which made me determined. I weaned daytime first, one at a time, maybe every few weeks. I also told him that breastmilk was for helping babies grow because they couldn't eat food yet, and that as babies grew and ate more regular food, they needed less milk. I also told him that as he was getting older, my milk would get less and less.

One thing that helped is that I had a babysitter while I worked who put him to sleep at one of his nap times so he didn't nurse then. Fewer problems cause he couldn't smell me. It made it easier to let others go. You want to keep cuddling, though. That is the important thing, to say that you can't nurse, but you can sit together. Keep the connection even without the nursing.

Also, the gradual weaning will be MUCH less painful. I think my breasts only hurt for a day when I completely stopped.

I weaned from the nighttime feedings at six months. At about 11 months I started weaning from the daytime feedings, one at a time. By one year they were only nursing 1st thing in the morning and at bed time. I cut out the morning by offering breakfast right away. When it came to the bedtime feeding I just didn't offer and they didn't ask.

I would not offer a bottle or a pacifier. Both would be bad habits to start and she is too old for them.

I weaned my ODS when he was 18 months, and still nursing 4 times a day (morning, before am nap, before pm nap, and bedtime). I slowly dropped one session a day until we were just down to the bedtime feeding, both for my comfort and for his. A gradual decline helps your body to regulate and decreases the chances of engorgement and mastitis. I then went to nursing every 36 hours (mon morning, tuesday night, thur morning, etc). That way, he was used to not being nursed every bedtime, and didn't seem to notice when we finally stopped. I was still pretty uncomfortable and engorged for about 2 weeks after the final session, though, so be prepared for that possibility. Good luck!

I am trying to do the same with my 22 month old. We dropped day time nursing without a problem. I just told him no and then found every possible distraction. Now we are working on sleep issues, he wakes up during the night and wants to nurse. In fact I just told him no, gave him a cuddle and put him back to sleep (not in my bed). I am guessing that in another few days he should stop asking during the night.

The next one to stop will be 1st thing in the morning. He already has a glass of milk about an hour after he wakes, so I would guess he will have it much sooner. I am saving bedtime for last. For that I will have water for him in a leakproof sippy, just tell him no more. I expect a lot of tears, but if he holds to past behavior he should be good in about 3 days.

That said - this is a child who makes himself throw up so that I have to get him. So it could take longer thanI would like. That usually adds a couple of days to the process.

You know your child - don't let her manipulate you. My so try's to pull off my shirts or stick his head down them. Just be firm, and don't wear loose clothes for awhile.

Good luck!

You should start by weaning her off the feedings in the middle of the night. There is no reason for a two year old to nurse overnight - she shouldn't be hungry and she needs her sleep. I would start by walking her back to her bed and tucking her in. Do this every time. Explain to her that she's older now and you both need your sleep, so she needs to stay in her own bed.

Stop with all daytime (not nap) feedings next. Explain to her that she's older now and only needs regular milk, and that mommy can't keep making milk anymore. She is old enough to understand. YOU have to be the strong one now - don't give in to the crying and let her nurse, even though that is obviously the easy way to go. If you're ready to stop, it's time to stop.

Then, do the naptime feeding next. Save the bedtime feeding for last. give a few days in between dropping each feeding to help her get used to the idea.

Take her to the store for a special new toy when she's all done. Tell her that she can pick something out for being such a big girl. Maybe also let her pick a special cup for drinking her milk out of.

DO NOT give her a bottle or a pacifier. She is much too old to start using either one if she's not using them already. You will just have another habit to break and you'll regret it.

Congrats to you for sticking it out when it was hard in the beginning and lasting so long!

There is a website with a plan for this. You might try it.
http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html