Toddler Watches Too Much Tv/movies

Well you can just, cold-turkey stop letting her watch tv. Sure she will tantrum. So what. Let her.
She will get over it.

At her Nana's... you can't control everything she does there. Or you can tell Nana, do not let her watch tv. Or, you can explain to your daughter- "You can ONLY watch TV at Nana's house. 2 shows. That's it." And let her SEE you explain that clearly, to Nana, at Nana's house.

For any Tantrum, or tearing up the house. You put her in time-out. Or, you tell her, each time she does that.... she goes to her room.
AND, take everything out of her room, that is dangerous or loose or can be torn apart.

Or you tell her firmly, the Rules. And just stick to it.
Right now... she is, controlling things. She knows, I'm sure, that you don't want to hear her tantrum. So you let her do things.

Or, you just suck it up. I mean, most ALL girls, LOVE "Princess" things. My Daughter did. But, it is a 'Phase." They will not like Princess things all their lives. By the time my Daughter was about 4 years old, she was over and about done with, Princess stuff.

The other thing is, you have things to do. Sure, like any Mom. We CANNOT play with our kid(s) 100% of the time. Its totally okay. Kids... also need- to be playing on their own and with their own ability. Because, if a kid is always entertained, they do not learn, how to be self-reliant.
Kids also do not need 'new' toys all the time.
Seems like your daughter is getting new toys and watching TV whenever 'she' wants. Then she gets bored.
To much turnaround.

You HAVE to be the bad-guy and tell her NO. You are not "bad." You are a Mom. That is what Moms, do.

She needs to learn how to play without being constantly stimulated by tv and new toys all the time.

I let my kids watch tv, but I tell them "I" decide what they watch. And when to turn it off. AND they will always ask first, IF they can turn it on or if they can watch a particular show.
We taught them how to assess tv shows, and I just tell them "certain shows are not good for you nor your age." That's it.

When my Daughter was only 4-5 years old... lots of her classmates were watching Pre-Teens shows. Already. Zack & Cody. iCarly. Hanna Montana etc.
But really, it is up to the parent, to decide, what show(s) a child watches and how affected by it, they get.

Find other things for your daughter to do.
If you don't want her to watch tv, then you need to put your foot down. Tell her No. Be the Boss. She is not the Boss.
You are the parent.
Also remember, a child this age cannot just be alone and do their own thing for long periods of time, while Mommy does her own thing. So you either do your things for shorter periods of time, or you use the tv as a Babysitter or you do things when she is napping.

No Mom... can 100% of the time, just play with their kids.
There are things to do.
Get your daughter used to.... other forms of entertainment.
Kids that age, like coloring, play-doh, chunky wooden puzzles, running around, pretend play, games, etc.

You need to start teaching your girl Boundaries/rules. Before she gets older and she gets more indignant.

From THIS age on up... any novelty or treat...can become a real big HABIT for a 2-3-4 year old. So, remind yourself, that 'their' habits came to be, because of what 'we' allow or not.
Once, I made the mistake, of getting my daughter a treat, after we took my Husband to work. Then, ANYTIME we took my Husband to work, my daughter "expected" a treat on the way home. It became, a 'habit', because of me. Kids, don't create these habits themselves. We do it.
It took me time and angst, for me to just get my girl OUT Of that 'expectational' habit.

all the best,
Susan

my almost 3 yr old watches about an hour of tv for breakfast then half an hour before his nap. depending on if dad comes home on time or late, i'll let him watch a small movie when he wakes up from his nap (sometimes if it's past time for him to wake up, i'll turn it on and the music will wake him up. He wakes up in a much better mood when I wake him up this way as opposed to just waking him myself).

That being said, we have DVR and I will often give him two choices to watch (ie, Tom & Jerry or Dinosaur Train). If he says he wants to watch Olivia, I'll often say "It's not on right now" if indeed I am sick of watching it. My husband doesn't like that show, so if dad's home, we compromise. If our son screams 'No I want olivia!" he'll be reminded of his two choices nd then I'll throw in a third choice of "nothing". He's always picked one of the two I give him. At this age luckily, he doesn't know the difference between the "guide" and our "recorded shows," so that gives me more ability to have him watch what I want him to watch and for only ONE episode. And when dad's home, it's dad's turn to watch dad's show. Sometimes dad will watch a VeggieTales or Tom & Jerry with our son, but most often, that's when our son does his best playing of toys.

If you don't want your daugther watching those princess shows, just wean her off of them. Or cold-turkey. Do what I do and give her two choices "a or b?" and when she says princess show, tell her it's not on today. I bet eventually she'll forget about it.

As for getting all of your 'chores' done. I totally understand that being a SAHM myself. I try to get laundry done and picking up and sweeping done while my son plays. Dishes are easy to do too. Heck - my son runs to get his stool so he can help me put the laundry in the machine. Have your daughter help with some chores! My son also will unpack the silverware from the dishwasher. The tv is on for a long time in the morning for me b/c that's when I really need to be in my room/bathroom getting dressed and stuff. Easy to have the tv on while he eats and I eat, then he stays in the living room while I am getting dressed. Then I'll go get him dressed and we'll start our day. Good luck!

Sounds like you have created a nice little addiction for her. Get the movies out of your house and start taking her to the park and gym where she can move her body and get some input for her brain to develop the correct way. Her visual processing is being screwed up badly by letting her eyes fixate on a 2D screen instead of 3D objects to hold, use and build. CHildren need so much of this before they are truly, developmentally ready for school. Take the advice or not, but I could be saving you tons of money and struggle for when she is older!

Cold turkey- get the tv out of your house.
best, k

I tell my DD that the TV needs to take a nap and we need to do something else. I work from home, so I admit that sometimes I allow a little TV to get work done. But there are other things my DD can do. She can color in the kitchen next to me, she can play with playdough, she can listen to music and dance. I will usually tell DD that the TV will go off after this show and she knows I mean it. It stopped the whining for the most part. She knows she can watch another show after dinner if she's good but in the meantime we need to do something else. It's also been good for me, because I need to turn the TV off myself, too.

You've got to get use to saying no and not feeling bad or guilty about it.
We have to do whats best for the kids, and that sometimes means not giving in to their wants of the moment.
Also, the destroying/temper tantrum thing has got to stop.
Find a way to close up her closet so she can't open it.
Have a place for her where she can pitch a fit and be safe.
Empty her room if you have to and leave a mattress.
When she has a tantrum, put here there and let her exhaust herself.
Comfort her when she's done, but DO NOT GIVE IN to what ever it is she wants (TV watching). Pull the plug or lock the plug up if you have to.
You are establishing that you get to set the rules, not her, and YOU are the Mama.
My son at that age was pouting over my saying no for something and told me "You're not my friend!".
I told him he was absolutely right. I'm not your friend. I'm your Mother. I'm there to wash you up when you throw up and help you feel better. Friends come and go, I'm with you through thick and through thin. And I'm not doing you any favors by saying 'Yes' all the time. Sometimes the answer is 'No' and you have got to deal with it.
Though it was a little rocky through the terrible 2's / 3's, at 12 he's turning out to be a very good, mature, and well adjusted young man.

My son only get's Thomas when I want to sleep in. He'll sit on my bed and I'll turn on the movie. Even then he only get's a half an hour. Then his favorite thing to do with Papa is to watch train chasers on youtube, I'll let him do that for a half an hour. So he only gets an hour a day. On days where I just can't handle him or I'm sick, or he is sick, it's more. Some days you just can't help it.
Good for you for wanting tv to not be a big part of their life. I was plopped in front of the tv as a child and I struggle with not watching it all the time. Although most of the time I "watch" it, it's for background noise while I do homework or sew.
And when you say no. Treat it like a regular tantrum. She's going to tantrum no matter what at this stage in life. Send her to her corner or couch and just ignore her. I wouldn't send her to her room, and take everything out like a previous poster said. That would be a lot of moving each time she tantrums. So designate a spot where you can keep an eye out for her and set her there. Ignore till she calms down.

Let her watch 30 to 45 minutes a day... Why the need to fight it? I don't feel it makes anyone smarter or dumber. Just don't use the tv as your daily babysitter and she'll view tv as the treat it is.
As for the throwing stuff off the shelves, my daughter did that at that age when she was upset. I think it gave her a sense of control on something. I taught her it was ok to be upset but not to brake things. Took a few tries, and a few days of her room being in a total disaseter but after picking up together (she did most the work while I "helped" a bit) she realized destruction wasn't so much fun... Remember, she' learning and testing boundaries. It's your job to guide her through this difficult period.
Best of luck!

We love tv here too. When its time for me to clean the floors, my oldest knows its pick a movie time. After my 2nd was born i had no excuse for alot of tv so we have made revisions to the amount of tv.

If my oldest (5yrs) is dressed before 8am and eating something for breakfast she gets to watch curious george. It helps me stay on track timewise too. After preschool, the tv cant come on before 3:30pm. I try to get the 1yr to nap from 1:30 til 3:30 so we can have time for homework or quiet play. After 3:30pm She gets to watch up to 2hrs of tv from PBS.

When she was little we liked to watch Clifford, Curious George ( she learned imagination from him) and the dreaded Dora and Diego. At least she learned something from the shows like that she had to wear a life jacket in the pool.

There are days when she gets to watch more like when daddy lets me nap on weekends, so we try to balance it out with more activities or she is very hyper and onry. When weather isnt so great, we hit the mall playarea or chickfila when daddy is working late for some girls bonding time.

Hang in there she is starting to pretend and can entertain herself for a bit.

Hi,

You got some great advice on earlier posts on the TV but I want to address the distruction. We went through that exact phase at 3 and when they act out like that it is becuase their activity is not matching their needs.

Physical activity really helped to improve this behaviour for us. If you can get out side for a bit great. if not you can create some great physical activity in the house. Target has a great tunnel to climb through for under $20. We have a race when she rolls a ball through the tunnel and chases it. You can use colored electrical tape and made a hopscotch board on a tile floor. You can hide objects in a room and have her find them (we still play with last years easter eggs). And there is always a good round of hide and seek to burn some energy.

After a round of good physical activity try a quiet focus activity like puzzles or playdough. You may be surprized and how well she starts to focus and you can build up to some great quiet time when you can get some things done. Hope some of these ideas will help. good luck (3year old can be so tough!) and remember its just a phase :-)

Hi L.,
I believe in everything in moderation. Why not try one show in the morning and one show in the afternoon? whatever you decide, I would try to share your decision with your daughter and explain your reasoning. I believe children understand more than we give them credit. By showing her respect and explaining, maybe it will lessen the tantrum.

Good Luck. Jilly

Stop feeling like a bad mom! You are good mom who loves your daughter. So what if she watches her favorite video? In the grand scheme of things its really not that big of a deal.
I tell my 2 1/2 year old (who would do nothing but watch backyardigans if I'd let him) "Not now, now its time to play with toys" when he asks to watch more TV. Generally I have a watch one show, then take two hours off to play rule. Usually he'll watch in the morning and then again while I'm making dinner. In the evening he loves to watch his big brothers play video games.

The "rule of thumb" from child development people is 2 hours per day or less for the maximum. Yes, my kids watch too much on some days. My husband is home days and with this winter weather with two rowdy boys (4 and 2 1/2) some days that is the only thing that keeps the house standing. On days that I'm home, I consider myself in control and tell them that it is daytime, which is playtime, and if we watch a cartoon that is for evenings. I give them a few options (and yes, there is much tearing apart of the house), but then I point at things out the window (like the trees that look like they are blowing over today, or drifting snow, animals, etc.), suggest a few books, and try to ignore them. They do rough with each other sometimes too much and my toddler is a little young for some of the things that entertain my older child, like Legos or Play-Doh, but I simply refuse to consider the television for myself during day hours. I also LIKE to relax at the end of the day and feel I miss out if I don't get to snuggle them when they watch a cartoon. We also do not watch regular television, but we have older cartoons on DVD, so I really like the Richard Scarry Busytown show, which is educational, mellow, pleasant, and they love it. (Of course, they also love Danger Mouse, He-Man, Ninja Turtles, and the original Transformers.) I try to keep rough track of the total time and reserve some of the screen time for my oldest so he can play a little bit on the computer when his brother is napping.

Anyway, my kids definitely go over the limit more than once a week, but with a toddler you just have to learn to be firm with the options. Find a way to phrase it that you can repeat to her so it does not sound like an option. If she starts to tear things apart, tell her that she can have a break at the table or she can calm down and play. My toddler (red-head, of course) has a horrible temper when it gets going and I have to sometimes strap him into his booster seat for a few minutes until he calms down. I just try to be consistent and repetative. It is hard, too, with smaller living spaces like ours where the television is in the living room which is also our downstairs and only play area. They see it there all day. If you have to put her in her room, take out anything she can stand on and/or get a latch for her closet door. My kids sometimes empty their dresser when they get bored, but then I make them stay in there with me while I put it all away.