Toddler W/ Sleep Trouble, Thus Parents Are Also Not Sleeping Well

unless you want to keep staying in his room or bringing him to your bed, don't start! just tell him, "no, it's time to go to sleep now" and take him right back to bed. no conversation, no giving him "one more drink" or "one more song" or he will drag it out as long as you will let him! if you don't mind spanking, give him a little swat if he gets up and put him right back in bed. otherwise, it'll just take lots of trips back to his room for a week or 2 until he gets the idea that you're not going to give in. when he wakes in the early morning, make sure his diaper is clean, maybe offer him a small amount of water, then tell him "it's not morning yet, you have to stay in bed" and leave the room. he will probably cry and try to get up, but just be consistent and keep putting him back in bed, he will eventually fall back asleep! it might take a couple weeks of sleepless nights for you, but I've been through the same thing with both my kids and it WILL get better! I never wanted my kids to sleep with me (unless they are sick or something), so I was determined to keep them in their beds. they are now 4 and 2 and the only time they wake up at night is if the older one needs to go potty or the younger one needs a new diaper. good luck!

Hi P.,
I would go into his room and gently put him back in his bed. He may be having nightmares. I would comfort him and let him know that he is safe. You might have to repeat this with him a few nights to let him know that you will comfort him back to sleep. No singing or stories or any playing. The hardest thing to break is letting them sleep with you in your bed. HTH

You ever consider leaving his bedroom door open at night. It may give him a sense of security. At this age nightmares and night terrors are very common especially in boys. He may be still dreaming when he's banging on the door. Leaving it open may give him a subconscious awareness that he can "get away" if he ever really needed to. That he's not "trapped" in his room. My daughter suffers from fairly frequent nightmares. We leave her door open at night, she doesn't get out of the bed unless the dream was exceptionally awful. In those cases we say our prayers over againg, reassure her that nothing is after her right now and that sleeping will help keep her and Mommy and Daddy healthy.

First maybe you should trying talking to him. Asking him why he's awake when it's still time to sleep. You'll never know what's bothering him unless you ask him first.

Hi! Sorry about the interrupted sleep, I know that is hard! I have a 3.5-year-old (daughter) and a 21-month-old (son), and we've had the wakeups lately ourselves. Our daughter has been intermittently waking up around the same time as LM. Not consistently, but enough. I finally thought to ask her if she needed to use the potty, and sometimes (not always!) that is the case. You might try that with LM? Just a thought. Other thoughts are a bad dream, or maybe being too hot or too cold. Something that would wake him up, and require a little comforting from Mom or Dad.

The only real advice I will give you is to keep your routine. Yes, it is most likely a phase (I am telling myself that now with our daughter), and no, do not go sleep with him or bring him into your bed if you can help it. You'll be setting up a habit that you have to break later. I've slipped a couple of times with our daughter and just brought her into bed with us, but she ends up wiggling around and none of us can sleep. Plus, the next night (while going to bed), she will ask to go sleep in our bed and I have to tell her no, which gets her upset.

Like the other posters said, be consistent in whatever your routine is, and if he wakes up at night, get him back in his bed and tell him it is still nighttime and time to sleep. You'll get some fussing and protesting, I am sure, but stick to your guns. And also tell him not to wake up his brother -- he also needs to realize that other people are sleeping and he needs to respect that! Good luck.

Hi P.,

Your little man is old enough to wake himself if things are not what he sees and feels when he goes to sleep OR if he thinks he can gain something from it - a lot of hugs and kisses, another book or a great snack (for example). Instead of doing any of that, quietly lead him back to bed, explain that he needs to stay there until the sun comes up, and leave the room. Be quiet, quick, CONSISTANT and reassure him that he will be okay and that he can do this. You might have to give him a consequence for banging on the door and yelling. Be sure to tell him this is not allowed, what will happen if he does it, and follow through with the consequence. After a few tries, he will learn not to scream and bang on things in the middle of the night. He does need a way to wake you in case he is scared or feels sick, though, so make sure he knows how you want him to do that.

Be sure to discuss these ideas with Dad and construct a plan that you are both willing to follow. This way your little man knows he will get the same treatment and response from either one of you.

Good Luck!
Parent Coach J. B

If anything I would tell him to go to bed again till the sun in his window shows up. I would not sleep in his room nor let him sleep with you. If you do feel he needs to be with let him bring his pillow and blanket to your room and sleep at the foot of your bed on the floor. Seems harsh but thats what we did as kids. Tell him he isnt allowed to bang on the door. I would just put him back to bed and ask what is wrong. let him explain then reasure him and hope it works. Durring the day also ask him what is wrong. - I dont have older chrilden but this is what seems to work with friends kids. Good luck. hope you get the right advice.