My almost 21 month year old has just been awful sleeping lately and we don't know what to do anymore. He is still in our room, in his own space away from us, since we live in only a 2 bedroom house. We wanted to move him in with his brother by now, but he is still waking up at night. As an infant he suffered from acid reflux but finally did out grow it a while ago. Still, since then he has never been a good sleeper. On a good night, he will go to sleep at 8:15 and wake up in the middle of the night crying for his binky and either he will find it or we will give it to him and he will go back to sleep til about 6:30. But, every few nights. he will wake up at random times, like last night was at 1:30 or sometimes 4 am. And he cries and will not go back to sleep. We let him cry it out the other night while me and my husband went out and slept on the couches and it took 2 hours of hysterical crying in order for him to finally fall back asleep. My husband and I are at our witts end. He should be sleeping fine through the night at this point. He is not sick and we have looked in his mouth for new teeth. He is only missing his 2 yr old molars and we see no sign from them. He also takes a decent nap during the day and usually does have a problem with that and naps 1.5-2 hours. Any advice is appreciated....should we just keep letting him crying it out like this? Not so easy with a 21 month old...and he is very random. Some nights, he sleeps like a rock but others, not at all.
No advice, just sympathy. My almost 21-mo daughter has been a great sleeper, but periodically has a week or so of disrupted sleep. This past week is one of them. She's up 1-5 times a night. For her, she has her 2 year molars coming in, so that's what I'm blaming.
My advice is he is not sleeping through the night because he is not in his own space--he is in yours. As adults we toss and turn and lay there trying to go back to sleep. Children do not have this tool and cry out for soothing (which includes the binky or some parental time). Also, I know my daughter hears us stirring in our bed if she is ever in our room on vacations. I know it may be difficult, but he may do better if he is in his brother's room because he may not look at his brother as a source of comfort and he will find his binky and then go back to sleep. And your son may sleep through or go back to sleep once his brother settles down, too. Just a thought. Let us know what happens!
If he sleeps well most of the time but has difficult nights here and there, there might be a real reason why he's crying on those nights so leaving him to cry it out could be a bad idea. He may really need you. He could feel sick, cold, or even be having a nightmare and just wants some comfort. I know it can be so hard when they cry during the night and won't go back to sleep but since it isn't happening all the time, I think as a parent it is best to do what you can to comfort him when it happens. If he was up and just wanted to play...that would be a different story. But crying for 2 hours seems wrong to me. Good luck.
I also have a toddler (29 mos) that has a hard time sleeping. In fact, the times when she's sleeping WELL are the odd times at this point! She starts the night in her crib, falling asleep around 8:15, but almost always comes into our room around 3am or so. Sometimes she's lucid and calm, and is just ready to fall asleep again in our bed, and sometimes she's hysterical and half-asleep and basically wakes up in full-tantrum mode. As much as I would LOVE for her to sleep through the night in her room (which she does manage occasionally), I know she's just not ready to do that every night. Sure, I'd get better sleep without a toddler's feet in my face half the night, but at this point I have to accept that being by herself in a dark room, a quiet house, can be really scary for her. Also, both my husband and I work and our daughter is in daycare fulltime 4 days/wk, so I know that nighttime is often the only time during the week she has to be close to us.
I don't know who started the myth that kids are supposed to sleep through the night at a certain age, and be sleeping on their own, etc, but I think its done a lot of harm to our parenting as a society. From everything I've read (and I've read A LOT on toddler sleep habits trying to take control of the lack of sleep in our house!) we can't reasonable expect most kids to sleep on their own until preschool age at least.
best of luck!
Try this book - "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child"
My 17-month-old is in a similar situation. I know his 2-year molars are bothering him, since he's been drooling and chewing on his hands the last few weeks. So even if you can't see any signs of the teeth, that may be a culprit. Otherwise, a few things I've thought might be my son's problems are dry air, not enough daytime exercise, tummy ache, and bad dreams (adults and kids have them, why not toddlers?) I am personally against CIO, since the child is crying for a reason and parents should try to help them, not ignore them. Especially if the crying lasts for 2 hours it sounds like he needs something (maybe a drink of water? Some cuddling?). However, you know your child best, and can tell when he's really needing something or just trying to get his way.
Also after reading this board and other places, I am starting to realize that there is no magic age when kids "should" be sleeping through the night. I think it is a developmental thing which can be influenced by all sorts of other stuff. And it definitely changes when there are other big things going on (teething, developmental milestones, daytime circumstances). Adults don't always sleep through the night -- why should we expect kids to do that all the time? The best we can do is help the process as much as possible.
Hopefully this is just a short stage and all of you will get some better sleep soon! Good luck!
What was with last night?? My son who usually sleeps through the night woke up 3 times as well and finally went to sleep for the night at 3:00 in the morning. He is still sleeping and it is 9:45am. I think he did have a stomach ache because I asked him (he is 20 months old) if his stomach hurt or had an owie and he nodded yet and I gave him some gas-ex, a little milk, changed his diaper, layed with him for a little bit and then put him back to bed and it seemed to help. Perhaps your son has a stomach ache at night. Try some gas ex before bed. See what he is eating during the day on his bad nights. My son is a little constipated which may have kept him up last night with belly aches. Good luck.
You are not alone my 21 month old wakes atleast once a night and he will not cry himself back to sleep. I don't believe in the CIO method anyway. I really like The sleep book by Dr. Sears. If he's sleeping good on some nights but not others take a close look and write things down that he eats, drinks, does, naps, etc and see what is different for the nights he sleeps well.
You may want to try putting him down earlier. Toddlers should typically go to bed around 7pm and sleep 11-12 hours. Putting them down too late will result in them waking up more and sleeping fewer hours. A great book is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. He recommends putting your child down 15 minutes earlier each night until you find the best time for them.
My 2-yr old goes to bed between 6:00 and 6:30 pm and sleeps til 5:30 or 6:00 am. (I wish she would stay up later, but that's her natural schedule so we go with it.) She will on rare occasions wake up at night, but she usually hits her FP Ocean Wonders mobile and goes back to sleep. It's very rare that we have to get up soothe her back to sleep.
Hope this helps - good luck!
