Toddler Self-induced Vomiting as a Form of Manipulation

My kids both made themselves vomit. My pedi suggested ignoring it...which is easier said than done. I didn't think my son would ever stop. And to top it off not only did he manipulate with that little trick, he also thought is was funny. With my daughter we worked really hard not to interact to much when she did it and it was a short lived phase. It sounds like you are doing that already. What about getting a second waterproof sheet and putting it on top of her bedding?? I'd also have a change of clothes ready to go. Change her quick and rip off the top sheet and back to bed she goes.

Please, please DO NOT let her sit in it! How horrible that someone even suggested that! I don't think she is manipulating you. I think she is REALLY upset. I used to get sick before school when I was little and big brother thought I was trying to get out of going to school. I was just so upset about leaving mom that it made me sick to my stomach. To this day I have a nervous stomach. Give her the benefit of the doubt. There is something bothering her that she is too little to understand.

I completely disagree with the idea of ignoring it and or leaving her in it. It may be intentional, it may be "manipulative" but it is not manipulative in the same way an adult manipulates. She is scared or upset and you should get to the bottom of it. Try a more relaxing bedtime routine. Giving a warm bath, cuddling up and doing story time. Also giving her time warnings like ok it's 15 minutes till bedtime etc. Put a nightlight in her room. Also make sure you are doing the same routine every night. Little ones LOVE routine. Make sure she has some sort of lovey or snuggly thing like a doll or stuffed animal. Make sure she knows she is safe and you are right nearby etc. I know it sucks but it will pass.. try not to get upset with her.

yes a two and half can manipulate... but perhaps you just may need to do what I did. I put a lamp on in my sons room and gave him coloring books and let him read and color before falling asleep and he was usually asleep in ten minutes. What is your normal bedtime routine? What time does she go to bed? Does she still nap. Is she crying and screaming which makes her vomit? Maybe a new bedtime routine is needed. I agree. do not let it sit. Just do your best to clean it quickly and then give her a hug and leave.

ok, to the moms who don't like the idea that a child can manipulate... well whatever you want to call it, it is what it is. Or maybe your definition only fits adults... Toddlers can and will test you and test you. They will keep doing it until you figure out a compromise or you don't give in or they learn that you are not going to fall for their bag of tricks. Some kids are just smarter at 2 and half than others. My son was was very smart at an early age. My daughter is super crafty and at 19 months will do a pretend tantrum. As soon as I look away she stops. This is a "trick" that she pulls. I know it isn't real and I can tell when she is really crying and when she is faking it. Sorry moms, but she does try to pull a fast one on us. She is that smart or crafty. Kids are smart and they will do whatever it takes to get your attention. That is in their nature!!

She may be trying to tell you something is wrong... not manipulating you. A toddler doesn't have the brain function to manipulate - just to try to make her needs known - which according to her are NOT being met by you and Dad.

She's at the age where fear comes to the front - being alone in the dark can be terrifying to many children.

***ADDED after 2 flowers***
For those Moms who strongly believe that a TODDLER has the brain function and mental capacity to manipulate an adult... I guess that shows how low your brain function must be. Manipulation takes premeditation, drive, more mature brain function and understanding of their actions. All toddlers understand is trying to communicate their needs and wants, and cause and effect.

EX: They drop a toy, Mom laughs and gives it back. They continue to do this and eventually Mom gets pissed off and stops giving the toy back and the child cries. That is not manipulation, that is the child thinking they are playing a game and they see if they drop something Mommy will pick it back up - much like fetch. I guess next you will say your DOG knows and understands how to manipulate you too?

Just make SURE it is really manipulation and not low cortisol issues.
Cortisol is the stress hormone- if someone doesnt have enough of it, they will vomit, get nausea, and have a host of other issues. look up low cortisol symptoms online.
Some kids really do get sick when they get under duress/stress and it is related to low cortisol hormones.

I was also going to suggest putting 2 layers of bedding down.

Waterproof cover, sheet, waterproof cover, sheet.

When she does it rip the top 2 off and back to bed she goes.

Well, this might sound mean, but since she is so used to you racing in to clean her up immediately, I might suggest not doing so.
She throws up, you run in. Cause and effect.
What if you try not doing that?
It's not going to hurt her to have vomit on her for little bit.
It's worth a try.

Just my opinion.

********Gosh people....I didn't mean leave her for hours I meant a couple of minutes instead of racing right in immediately.

I wasn't aware that a 2 1/2 year old was even mentally capable of manipulation. Does she still take naps, maybe she's outgrown them and just isn't tired in the evening? Maybe try keeping her up a little later or have her play more actively in the afternoon so she's tired by bedtime. Can you give her a few toys in her crib to give her something to think about and do...other than vomiting?

What? Are there really people out there who think 2 1/2 year olds can't manipulate? They are the masters! I know some shrink books say they can't but I know lots of toddlers, including my own, and um, crafty 18 month olds can manipulate. 2 1/2 year old are old pros! My almost 2 year old has quite a few deliberate tricks up her sleeve and has for a long time. So did her older sibs as toddlers. Don't short change the intelligence of the wee ones.

Is yours manipulating? Well, your mother's instinct knows if she is truly scared at bed time, or if she just doesn't like bed time.

Is this vomiting during tantrum, or just out of nowhere? If it's a tantrum puking thing, nip the tantrums.

She's not too old to re-learn that bed time is final. Nice fun active day, no sugar, juice or fruit late in the day, nice bedtime routine, books, love, kisses, comfy lighting, put her down, walk away, one calm warning if she BEGINS to protest, and calm but firm discipline after that. If your discipline is effective, she'll learn there is no point trying to manipulate bed time. Once she "has to" go to bed nicely a few times, she'll then be used to it, and after that she'll like it.

This book has excellent tantrum nipping advice if the vomiting is during a fit: Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson.

My personal opinion is that ignoring it would be begging her to try harder for you to address it, and I would never leave the vomit sitting. Head it off at the pass before she gets that upset.

Do your best to change it without no eye contact or speaking to her and get it done as quickly as you can and walk out. Try and keep calm, kids pick up on vibes you know ;)
Hang in there, it's a test. One of many to come in the future. Learn now not to react.
C.

Whatever her reason for vomiting, she sounds like she's upset at bedtime. If she's that upset, she's going to have problems going to sleep. Can you sleep when you are really upset? You are trapped in a vicious circle. If bedtime becomes fraught with unpleasant associations, of course she's going to fight it!

I agree with the other posters that the best option is to work on why she is so upset about going to sleep. Some of the suggestions below are good, but she's also old enough to discuss it. Let me tell you a recent story.

My daughter (2 3/4 now) is an awful sleeper, so I don't consider myself an expert, but she's never fought sleep. A few months ago she started strongly resisting going to sleep. We'd lie down, and she would close her eyes and then pop up and tell us she did not want to go to sleep. I started getting really frustrated for a few days, then decided to ask her why. Turns out, she was having nightmares, where big red eyed monsters were chasing her, and she was afraid to fall asleep. We gave her an imaginary stick to beat off the monsters (my husband wanted to just have them fall asleep, but she preferred the more violent approach.) Voila- problem solved. She still isn't a great sleeper, but she happily lies down to try.

Some other ideas: We keep the door open to the hall so she has light, or she freaks out. Sometimes she just isn't ready to sleep, so I tell her she has to stay in bed, and that she can play with her animals or read a book. I check on her "in 15 minutes." Usually she pops up every 5 minutes or so, but I deal with whatever request and guide her back to bed. Normally after that 15 minutes she's ready to lie down and try to sleep again.

Good luck, and remember you are in this WITH your daughter, not against her.

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Alright, I normally don't do this, but I can't stop thinking about some of the advice here. PLEASE DO NOT LET HER SIT IN HER OWN VOMIT!

Look, there are two choices about why she's throwing up:
1) she's so upset that she's vomiting spontaneously.
2) she's so upset that she's willing to force herself to vomit in a last-ditch attempt to get your attention.

Either way, she's so upset that she's throwing up. I can't stand the idea that this is somehow "manipulative." Sure, maybe she's figured out that the only way to get mom to come in the room is to regurgitate. Think about how desperate you'd have to be to do that. Pretty awful, huh?

To now ignore her is to teach her that you just really don't care. No matter how bad she feels, no matter what she's willing to do. You don't care.

Sorry to be so harsh, but I keep running across this. Always in relation to crying it out. Never, hey, whenever my kid doesn't get what he wants he throws up, and stands there and smiles at me. That could be manipulative. This is not manipulative. This is a cry for help.

If she's crying hard, she will naturally vomit. You haven't asked for suggestions for getting her to go to bed. What do you do to make bedtime a pleasant and relaxing experience? I suggest you deal with the not wanting to go to bed issue and the vomiting one will take care of its self.

This may be way off and I do not know how mature/immature your 2 1/2 year old is... Do you think she would be happier in a toddler bed? Maybe she is feeling stuck or to big to be in a crib. If you were to get her a new "big girl" bed and get her all excited about the bed, maybe she would not want to throw up in the bed! Make her feel a sense of ownership of her new bed. Maybe she can help set it up, pick out the bedding and make it a new and exciting adventure! Just a thought.

Let her sit in it. She won't like it. She won't get what she wants. She'll stop.

I just finished reading Dr. Ferber's book and he discusses this exact thing in there. He says to do exactly what you're doing. Go, clean up, don't interact with the child and leave as soon as you're finished. It'll take some time but the child will get the point that the trick isn't working.

Good luck!