2 1/2 Bedtime Drama

Awesome advice so far. She is controlling and manipulating you. You need to lay down the rules. Amber's advice about the positives is great. It will help soften the fact that in the end, you are getting what you want, not her.

You need to due a behavior modification with her. Set down the routine and rules and reward her for following them. Have her come up with the reward with you. It will take some time, but you can go back to a peaceful bedtime. I hate to do this, but you can put a hook and eye on her door if nothing else works, but undo it when she falls asleep.

I agree with Victoria that you have to stick to it. Kids sleep routines are constantly changing. Once you think all is good, they switch it up with something like this. Your daughter is at the age of manipulation - they're figuring out that they can have a say and use it to their benefit (they are so smart!) :) Allow her choices but make sure she sticks with whatever she decides (this is so hard and we're still struggling with this with my 3 year old). Be firm, she might throw a tantrum, but (and this might sound harsh) you might just have to let her have a little tantrum. As you know trying to reason with a 2 or 3 year old it hard work. The tantrum is another way to manipulate. I hope this helps. Remember this too shall pass and she'll grow out of it. Good luck and God bless!

I also agree with the previous 2 responses. You need to be the one in control and your daughter has figured out a way to pull the strings and make the puppet dance. I don't mean any offence to this but I feel all the time that I'm just a puppet and my son (almost 6months) is a puppeteer pulling my strings and making me entertain him.

I'm a behaviorist and one other thing you could try is reward her when she goes to bed in the appropriate manner. Tell her what a good girl she is and how proud you are of her. How much she's growing up and becomeing a big girl are other things you could add.

When she behaves badly instead of focusing on this behavior (any attention is good attention even when its negative) simply ignore the bad behavior. For example when she's throwing a tantrum, walk away from her and ignore her. When she gets up looking for your attention make her work hard (with good behavior) to get it back. Talk to her for a short period of time about how her bad behavior won't get her what she wants and if she needs or wants something to use her words instead of her emotions. This is somewhat of a slow process depending on how consistent you can be but can be very effective in teaching her how her actions will affect what she gets.

Any time she's behaving in a way you don't like instead of focusing on how to stop the bad behavior focus on what you want her to do instead. Another example she not listening and getting into trouble at a family/friends house. Make sure you have an activity for her to do to replace her unwanted behavior. (coloring, drawing, etc)

Remember you're not the bad guy just because you have to say no to her!!

I hope this helps. GOOD LUCK!!

My daughter went through this same exact thing last year when she was 2 1/2 AND I was expecting my second child. Just stick to what you've always done - bedtime routine, etc. The important thing is to stay calm when she's losing it (I know, easier said than done!) And just be consisten. In the midst of it, it's endlessly frustrating. My daughter is now 3 1/2 and my infant son is 6 months and my daughter seldom gives us any trouble going to bed anymore. Good luck!

Partly. But it also sounds like when she makes her little requests (manipulation!!!) she is rewarded by getting whatever it is. It can be vicious in it's subtlety~

You need to rework your bedtime routine. Tell her, too. "We're going to do things a little differently at bedtime." Basically, do all the things you do now (just reduce so that it takes LESS than 30 minutes for the ENTIRE THING). Then, just before she gets tucked into bed... give her a sip of water and have her pick out her sleep buddy (toy). Tell her up front... no changes. Whichever one you pick is it.. if you change your mind.. that one will have to wait until tomorrow. Then STICK TO IT. Same thing with being hungry... did she eat her dinner? Then tell her she has to wait until breakfast. If you think she might really be hungry by bedtime.. then give her a piece of cheese or some other protein snack an hour before bed... so that it doesn't interfere with teeth brushing, etc. And TELL HER when she has it that it is her LAST snack before she goes to sleep. And STICK TO IT.

You have to be in control here mom. Otherwise... well... you know what the result will be... she will be up until midnight!! lol

Good luck... once you start sticking to your guns (saying "no" to all her little manipulations - cause that's all they really are) then she will go to sleep. She will still ask... for a long time... but she'll get the idea pretty quick that you aren't giving in.

You're expecting a second child~ how soon until this little one comes?
Have you talked with your daughter on what she can expect and assured her that she will indeed still be a major part of your life, even if you are with the baby more - and that she can assist you?

Sometimes this comes with the age, but for sanity's sake, why not give another toy (make sure it's suitable for bed), read a bedtime story and send her to sleep w/ a sippy of water? This is what we did with our son at that age. He still has a glass of water on his bedside table (at age 5). He LOVES his bedtime story and has his cuddles and snuggles before going to sleep. I feel he enjoys this as he goes to bed feeling assured. He certainly does not want to go to be upset with us or having us angry with him. He requires peace with us (and each other) before going to sleep.

Come up with a bedtime routine, stick with it and make sure you are assuring your daughter that she will still have a place in your heart after this baby arrives. Children can very much sense that change coming and what it may mean.