Toddler Repeating Bad Words

Updated on June 05, 2008
C.M. asks from Temple, NH
9 answers

My 22 month old daughter has started saying "Dam It". I do not know what to do with her if I give it atention she says it more, so I stopped saying any thing and she still does it. She old uses it when she drops somthing. or when she get frustrted wth somthing. I need help she is going to say it in the wrong place. I get so imbaresed when she say's it. : (

What can I do next?

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

It's important to substitute another word for her. My daughter used "Ratsticks!" I don't know who told it to her, but it was a fun word to say with lots of consonants - some kids like that. Another friend used "Bummer!"

As for other people's comments that the kids say, "Well, Daddy uses that word" or similar responses, I have a good friend who told her 8 year old, "I know. I shouldn't say those words and neither should Daddy. However, Daddy has driving words, and Mommy has cooking words, and whenever you can do either of those activities on a regular basis, you can use those words!" That was a great response, I thought! LOL!

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P.W.

answers from Burlington on

My 3-year-old has a great vocabulary, which includes "dammit" and "fricken" and "poopy-head" and a variety of other words I'd rather he didn't know. It's taken some time teaching him that these are not nice words, and sometimes reminding him before we enter a new place that you have to talk nice here, but he's gotten better. It's a tough one to explain to a 22 month old, though.
We've had some luck teaching him some more acceptable colorful language - fiddlesticks, darn it, jumpin' tomcats, etc. - only works if you use it, too.

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C.A.

answers from Boston on

Okay so 16 years ago on a bus my lil sweet one watched someone drop something and said"oh Sh*t" so everyting he dropped something he did the same I ignored him i did not laugh either. Then i went to pick him up at daycare and they told me he dropped his truck and guess what he said!!! well very soon after he stopped one day all by himself.My lil one now says "nasty words" every now and then but he has time out for 2 min. so soon he will stop.. But never make a big deal because then they will think they are funny Good Luck!*-*

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K.S.

answers from Boston on

I used to look my son in the eye and just explain that it is not an acceptable word, and we don't say it. He often pointed out that mommy said it, so I told him that I should not say it either. He is now 4 1/2, and when I say something that I previously said is not nice, he reminds me (I think he enjoys it), and I agree and apologize for saying it. It has worked pretty well with him.

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J.P.

answers from Boston on

How about modeling a more appropriate action? Like start using a made-up, silly, less startling word for such occasion?

I used to say the S-word and F-word in a reactionary way too, and I've very conscientiously re-trained myself to not say those words in front of my now 4 year old, like "Aw, man!" or I clamp my mouth shut and groan.

You say that you stopped saying anything and she still does it; my question is how long did you stop before you started to give her attention again? I find that one has to be consistent in approach, so it takes time.

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L.B.

answers from Boston on

C. -

I can't wait to see you guys on Sunday!! But I do have a bit of advice that may work - I used this with my son years ago when he wouldn't stop saying b*tch (he accidentally heard it on the TV and I couldn't get him to stop saying it). Anyway, I think that you should definitely ignore her saying damn it, and focus on using another word that's more fun to say and maybe she'll start saying that word instead. I would use something like "shucks" or "bummer" and use it a lot and hopefully she'll take on the new word and forget about damn it!!!
See you soon!
L. and Addison

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J.G.

answers from Boston on

Apparently "dammit" is a really fun word to say. We just went through this with my 3 yr old daughter a few months ago (while she was still 2). :) My jaw just about hit the floor the first time she said it, but I know she was hearing it from both me and my husband so we had no one to blame but ourselves.

To get her to stop I first explained to her that that word wasn't a nice word, in a calm way, and told her that when Mommy and Daddy said it she should tell us that's not a nice word so we'd remember not to say it. Whenever my daughter corrects us now we make a big deal out of it, "Oh! You're right! I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry!" I think letting her correct us has really helped her to remember not to say it herself.

She has said it a few times since then and I just remind her that that isn't a nice word and that we shouldn't say that word and she's now stopped. I think the important thing is to talk about it calmly and remind gently when she says it. Also, it's a good idea to remind whatever adult in your house is using that word to stop too. :)

Good luck!

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G.D.

answers from New London on

First off understand that every Mom knows every chil does it. I'm there right now too! But she's picked up a few more than that. Even though some aren't "bad" words they are still words I wish her not to say. We can't control every second of what they hear and repeat. I have threatened the neighbors with not playing here if they can't say things that are only appropriate for a 2yo to say but everone slips sometimes.
I wanted to write so you understood it wasn't just you. I have no solid advice! I just try to tell her it's not a good word and we shouldn't use words like that. Sometimes when we catch ourselves we and she repeats it, we tell her it's something else. Hubby called the dog a geek tard when he ate a toy and he had to quickly replace it with guitar. Just advice for future slips.

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C.B.

answers from New London on

I have a funny response to this. When my now 7 year old daughter was around 4, she started using the word dammit. The funny thing is, she used it correctly. For instance if the water was too hot, she said, "Dammit, that water is hot" and when her sister dropped something, she would say, "Dammit Katie!" I also didn't know what to do so I gave her a time out and told her to think about what she did. When I went back and asked her why she had the time out her response was, "Because I'm the dammit girl?!?!" Too funny. I then proceded to tell her..next time you hear Daddy say that, you need to tell me because that is not a nice word and she responded by telling me that it was me that she heard say it!! Oops!!

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