My Child Says "Damn It"

My 3yo has said this from time to time also. She hears it from me or her dad and for a day or so, she'll say it, but we just ignore her. If you give any kind of reaction, they will continue to say it just for the reaction.

My son's Uncles have found it funny to constantly teach them all the bad words and phrases that they know-just to annoy me. My kids are 4 and 5 and my approach is the first time they say it I tell them that it's a bad word and that they can not say it in my house or in school. If they say it again, I ignore it. If it dosen't get a laugh (like it does around their Uncles) then it isn't very much fun to say anymore. This has worked for my household.

Kids love to copy their parents. When I lose my temper and say something inappropriate for my kids to hear, I try to catch it immediately and tell them I'm sorry for using not nice words. I explain that I was angry and made a mistake. Then I tell them that I should have said I was angry or used different words to tell my feelings and will try harder next time. It's good for kids to see that you make mistakes and to also see that you take responsibility for them and work to do better in the future.

Hi L.,
I've gone through the same thing and have to learn to keep myself in check. No, I didn't punish my son for "repeating" what I said, instead, I am working on my own language and actions while explaining to him that it is wrong to say such things. After a short while he hasn't said such things, but I still have to really keep myself in check. Of coures, he still picks things up but now he'll say things like "aww man!" I'm sure you're son will do the same. Don't beat yourself up either-you're only human and after all you and I and all parents like us were once people who did what we did the way we did it without the thought of how we might influence little ones. We're all learning.

I think we all go through this phase. My daughter went through a phase of calling the dog a "jacka$$" after he knocked her over one day and I had a few choice words for him. At that age, I would explain that we shouldn't use that word and that Mommy/Daddy was wrong for saying it. If that doesn't help and he says it more, he may be trying to get attention. If you think he is seeking attention by using it, I would ignore it completely. Eventually, he will drop it. Good luck--they are little tape recorders, huh?

Does your son like Spongebob? If he does do what I did. My son did the same thing at 2 and since he loved Spongebob I would says "Barnacles" or "tartersauce" whenever something made me mad or happened around him just so he would start repeating it. The more he hears that and says that soon he won't even remember the bad word. Just don't bring it up and use something like that and soon it'll be over. Good Luck!!

Well I say d*mn around my daughter occasionally. sometimes when I forgot something I'd say " oh d*mn it! " It is not good but sometimes it slips. This is the only bad word I say around her as well. Luckily she doesnt repeat it often so That's good. When I say in front of her I apologize and tell her it slipped.

I you say it again apologize and say mommys sorry and tell him that we will both try not to say it.

I don't know if I'm over simplifying this, but my advice is to just stop saying it. =) He'll probably forget about it after not hearing it for a while.

Hi L.,

My suggestion would be to ignore it, I think the more you react to it the more he'll say it. You can try saying Mommy shouldn't have said that it's not nice and just make sure you don't say it again (easier said then done, right). I have had the same situation, my daughter is 3 so it's a little easier to explain, and I'll get mom why did you say damn it and I try that and for the most part she doesn't say it.

Good Luck.

S.

We went through the same exact thing. I did not punish my daughter since she learned it from us but I did tell her it was not a nice thing to say and that mommy and daddy should not say it either. I gave her some alternatives, such as "oh snap" which they say in Chicken Little and told her that if she hears me or her father saying it she needs to tell us it is not a nice word since we shouldn't say it either. I did not make a big deal of it and it just stopped. Needless to say, we had to watch what we say also.

Just firmly say to him. That is a bad word, do not say 'damn it'. And, as you stop saying it yourself, he will follow suit. No, it is not a negative to disclipline him on something that he honestly learned. That is what childhood is for. For children to learn. He is learning that there are some things that only adults can do. He is also learning bad words from good words. He is learning that adults might say a bad word when they get angry, but children cannot say that. Although, I agree wholeheartedly that we as adults should set good examples for our kids. However, he is going to hear these words somewhere and at some point in time; and he needs to know that they are bad words and that he is not to say them.

Soon, he will say to you. Mommy that's a bad word and you are not suppose to say bad words. And, you will respond 'you are right.' 'Mommy will have to try not to say that anymore.' But, don't worry, this is his learning period and he will do just fine.

HI. i would just tell him that is not how you say it you say "Darn it" or something not so bad for him to say and now that u know he picked things up from you just try to watch what comes out your mouth when u feel like saying damn it you can just cont. to say "darn it" so that it kind of sounds the same but itsnt so bad when he says it. ad i dont think punishing him for something he learn rom you's isnt a great idea. just watch what u say now that u know he can repeat them and try what i said the " darn it" or " Oh snaps" my oldest son say it all the time "oh snaps" but because he knows the words that come out my mouth i dont allow him to say them and he was just never the type to repeat anything i say lol. well good luck you'll be okay let us know how he does.. and i'm here if you need to just talk or vent...

I understand what you are going, through. I've said it when I'm driving or get really frustrated. I'm currently pregnant with number 3 and have done it more frequently with less awareness since the pregnancy. My husband calls it "Pregnancy Tourettes." I'm working on paying closer attention to what I say and trying not to say words I don't want repeated.

Recently, when at the local library with my 2 1/2 year old son and 7 year old daughter, I was using the self check-out machine. My son was trying to scan his books at the same time. He wasn't doing it quite right and started to say (a few time), "Why this damn thing not working?" My daughter asked if he was saying what she thought he was saying as she laughed. I told her quietly not to worry about it and please don't laugh. Then I turned to my son and told him that the machine was working properly and showed him how it worked. I gently mentioned that he shouldn't say that word because it wasn't nice. Then I let it go.

I know from watching relatives with their kids that if you make a big deal about it, little ones think it is funny or a good way to get attention. So we have chosen to gently tell them that it is a bad word and move on to another subject quickly. If for some reason, our kids have still decided to use it, we ignore it at first. This really has worked for us. The library incident was 3 weeks ago and my son has not said that word since.

Our daughter could sometimes be a little tougher at that age. If she continued to use a word or phrase (she enjoyed telling people to "shut up") after we asked her not to, we would put her in a time out. Again, we stayed calm and did not react angrily or laugh in front of her (although sometimes when they do it, an adults instinct is to laugh). We have found with both that when they don't get a big reaction from us and it is followed with punishment for continued usage if necessary, that they give up using the words/phrases rather quickly.

Good luck with your little guy.

My daughter also tends to catch some not so nice words from us from time to time. All I can say is ignore it and then it will go away. If you draw attention to it he will realize that this is wrong and will continue doing it.