Toddler Not Sleeping Well- Me Either!

My daughter was very similar to that, she hated her crib. At about 16 months, I converted it to the toddler bed which helped for a while. Now that she is two, I got her a Big Girl bed, with Princesses that she loves (and it looks like Mommy's and Daddy's bed). She has been sleeping in her bed at night now. I only need to go in if she wakes up to get her back to sleep then I go back to my room. Good luck! I know what you are going through.

Sounds like my daughter. She is 22 months and has been climbing out of her crib since she was 15 months. Try getting a crib tent. They work great and you know they are safe. She may need to cry it out a few nights to get used to it. I would stay in the room next to the crib until she adjusted. Big bed would not work for me, she would not stay in it. Good luck

Please, please, please do not think that I'm putting you down for this but, it may have something to do with you working full time. The sleeping with you that is. As far as the restless sleeping, that's probably just the way she sleeps. My sister in law said her daughter was/is like that. I know it isn't very nice for him, but would your husband sleep elsewhere until she gets a little older? At least that would be more room in the bed for you. You're not the only one, don't worry. They won't sleep with you forever. My eldest (3 years) used to sleep with us. Now the 22 month is in bed with us. And I'm pretty much a stay at home mom. Oh yeah, and yes, sometimes my very understanding husband does get booted out onto the couch.

You can try a few differnt things. Use her crib mattress and put it in your room right next to your bed. Move it a little ways away every other day till she is out the door. You may have to sleep next to her for a while too. Maybe she needs a weighted blanket. Sometimes the pressure helps calm them and keep them asleep. You also could put her to sleep in her bed and you can sleep on the floor next to her so if she wakes up you can soothe her back to sleep in her own bed. Hope this helps.
A. B

It sounds to me like she is overly tired... Sleeping with you should help, but earlier bed time should do the trick. This is a time when they need extra sleep for developing well...

Stay consistent, it took about a week for my son to start sleeping in his bed after my husband and I started to be consistent. I was up ten times a night putting him back in bed, but once he figured out we weren't going to give in he started staying in bed. It also helped to really wear him out in the afternoon/early evening. Whatever you do you have to stop letting her in your bed. She has you figured out right now, she knows if she is consistent/persistent you will give in.

S.-
I had the same problem. What I did was put pillows on the floor beside my bed. My daughter would lay on the floor and sleep. Slowly I moved the pillows into her room and on her bed. It took a long time but she has stopped sleeping in my bed. When she gets up durning the night and wants to sleep with my husband and I, she just brings her pillow over and lays on the floor and goes back to sleep. My husband and I finally got so good rest at night. I hope this helps.

Try wearing her little butt out! Try active games. At home we "lion and mouse". I act like a lion and roar at my little boys. They will run around screaming with laughter. Then they will turn around and chase me. Of course, I run and act silly along with them. ;-) Tickle them unmercifully. Go out and play in the snow or play ball for a while.

Try laying down with her in her bed when putting her to sleep. I had to do this quite a while before my little ones would finally sleep on their own. For my two toddlers, I put their twin beds together and against the wall. It gave them more room to roll around without falling out.

17 months is kind of big to be in a crib, so try a twin bed. Put it in your room next to your bed. Sleep with her for a while. Then try putting her to sleep on her own telling her you are right there with her. Eventually put her bed back in her room. When she gets up, walk her back to her room. I sit with my boys and hold their hand or put my hand on their backs until they fall asleep. Then I go back to my room. After a little while, I was able to simply put them in bed, say lights out and nite-nite, then walk away. Sometimes they try to get up, but I walk them right back to their room. Then I go to my room.

It's all a working progress... ;-D

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When I was having trouble with my 2 year old sleeping through the night, we started making a "bedtime tradition". We started with a lavender bath, snuggly time while putting on PJ's, a nightlight (that he picked out), and a bedtime story that is choosen before we head upstairs. We tried using all sorts of soothing stimulus before bedtime. We have a lavender scent from bath & body works in his room, or you can put that scent in a humidifer. That seems to really help. He started to complain about bad dreams, so I came up with an idea to take some vanilla body glider powder and tell him that Tinker Bell gave me this special powder to help keep bad dreams away. The vanilla is also a calming sent. We layed with him for about a week, and then we just sat at the edge of the bed (this was about two weeks), then we sat in the doorway (about 2 weeks). We kept getting farther away from her bed each week or so, but still reasurring him that we were close. This was not an easy or quick fix, it took time, but my husband and I know enjoy a full-night's sleep.

A. F.
3 boys (6,4,2)

Bad sleep means bad days for everyone!! I've been exactly where you are now...

I highly recommend this book: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth, MD.

We have two boys (2 & 4) who both had sleeping issues at different stages and this book helped us tremendously!!

Bad sleep only begets more bad sleep. This book will give you some ideas to help get her to sleep on her own. And yes, it does recommend the cry it out method as one option. We did it - and it was torture for 2-3 nights... but after that - BLISS!!! I kid you not.

Because I went in everytime he cried, my younger son was not sleeping well at all. But after letting him settle himself (he was 2 yrs. 4 mos. when we did this), he sleeps 11 hours at night and goes to sleep on his own just fine. Truly, it was only 2 BAD nights and one not-so-bad night and the 4th night he was out without a whimper or peep!! As long as we are vigilant of keeping his routine and not "giving in" to his requests, he sleeps very well.

Good luck!

Along the line of the restless leg idea, I am 28 yrs old and remember having restless legs as far back as 3 yrs old. I'm sure I had them before that, but I just can't remember past that. My mother's solution when I was little - she would massage my legs each for about five minutes when she put me to bed. It was a two-fold benefit, 1)It calmed the prickly nerves in my legs, and 2)The massage aspect of it calmed me and helped my mind to relax.

I honestly have not yet met a parent that doesn't encounter this problem at some point or another! We definitely did with both of our daughters!
If you don't have a bedtime routine try creating one. Even at 17 months your daughter is a smart cookie so involve her in creating the routine. I'm big on sticker charts for everything from potty training to cleaning up toys~maybe she would benefit from some sort of reward system where if she stays in her own bed all night then she earns a sticker and then x amount of stickers could equal an extra story at night.
After creating a bed time routine the best advice I have which worked for us is be diligent about putting her back in her bed and reassure her that she will be okay. It takes some time, but like everything else this too shall pass!

What is her schedule like during the day? Is she napping to late or too long during the day? Is she active and burning off energy so she will be tired at night? Try getting her moving in the afternoons so she will be more likely to sleep longer at night. Try a warm bath with lavender or some other sleep enhancing oils or lotions right before bed. Try calming music or scented pillow case with essentil oils. The bottom line is, when she sleeps better so will you! Good luck!

Hi Stephanie,

Don't know if this will help, but my 12 year old did not sleep through the night utill he was 5 years old. We found out that his adenoids were enlarged and he could not breath well when he was sleeping, so he had a kind of sleep apnea. The day they took his tonsils and adenoids out, he slept through the night! Funny thing is, that is not why they were taking them out!

If you check that out and it is not the problem, maybe there is a food sensitivity. I know, sounds strange to connect the two, but my 14 year old has a sensitivity (not a full blown allergic reaction) to gluten and it effects his biology in a really strange way. He was waking up at night with nightmares and sleeping in our bed, etc. for years! I swear I didn't get any sleep for eight years, between the two of them!

Good luck!

Have you tried laying with her for a little while in her bed? When my son was almost 2 he would not stay in his bed- even thought it was a toddler bed I would climb in (not real comfy:) and read him a story and cuddle a little bit. I would wait til he was almost asleep and get up- I'd say Mommy will come back to check on you in a minute- stay in bed. 9 times out of 10 he would be asleep by the time I got back in 5 minutes. I gradually made it less and less time until he was in bed and I was beside it reading his story. It took a couple of weeks but eventually he was comfortable in his own bed- and I never had to listen to him scream. If she's in her own bed she'll probably sleep more soundly too- just as much as she's disturbing you your probably disturbing her. Good luck- I hope you get a good nights sleep soon!!

Hi there,

Our son who is almost three still struggles with sleep esp. the going down for sleep (at night only.) He cries, yells, whines, and the worst is that he now knows better! I feel like being a full time working mother has nothing to do with this (I work full time as well) and know plenty of parents who has one who stays home and the kid (s) struggle with sleeping. I am sure you do enough berating of yourself about working full time - do not add the not sleeping thing to the mix! The thing we have struggled the most with our son is being too soft despite feeling really hard at times. I know that we have sort of coddled him (some times out of guilt for not being home full time!) and he gotten away with staying up later or not letting him cry it out when we put him down to sleep. I also find that every time we have a big change in our house, that is when the sleep issues arise. Like we just changed our son's room around entirely and some what quickly. And he is once again fighting sleep. The addition of the 6 month old to your house may seem like old news but perhaps that is what is throwing things off for your daughter. I also find that the more we talk to our son (and listen to him) it helps. Finally, Secrets of Baby Whisper and Toddler I have heard are excellent books (and fairly inexpensive.) Good luck!

Oh one last thing - I think some kids are great at some things and not so great at others. Sleep is the same way. Some kids are great sleepers and others are not. Try not compare or feel bad that your child does not sleep at times - that is just her predisposition perhaps and you can find ways to help her through it. One day she will be a teenager and you will be trying to figure out how to get out of bed!!!

we had to put are son on meletonian.(dr recommended). we had the same issue. he sleeps great on it. some people don't produce enough of it.

You might try getting some baby bath products with lavender scent before you put her down for the night. Lavender soothes and calms, then try a loose fitting gown long sleeve. Maybe the problem is the sheets irritate her or she just gets cold. Soft classical music has also been shown to help. It is Ok for her to cry herself to sleep if you know all her needs have been met. She could just want to be close to you - nesting. If that is all the problem is - she will cry for a few nights for maybe a couple hours - when she realizes she has lost the battle - the crying game will cease. So, you may end up loosing a few nights sleep until she gets it, but in the long run you will regain valuable sleep.

When my family went through a huge tragic upset, my daughter had to be near me constantly. I pulled her crib, with the one side off, next to my bed at night and tied it so it couldn't move away. I then allowed her to go to sleep in Mama's big bed, then gently moved her into her own crib (which was a little lower than my mattress level). This went on for MONTHS, but we both slept better and she felt secure. Eventually I started pushing the crib/toddler bed away at night so she would get used to waking up somewhat separated (with pillows or couch cushions beside it in case she fell out). The next step was a bigger bed for her that was set up near by but further away. Each time, I made her a new sleeping space, it was further away. Now she has her own room.
Also, a nighttime prayer assuring her there is Someone Who watches over her Who never "slumbers or sleeps", and soothing music can be helpful, even in her own room.