Toddler Naptime Issues

I have heard this similar story from 2 other friends who kids are also in daycare. Since they girls are only getting mommy 3 days a week, perhaps they want to savor the moments they have with you and therefore not sleeping. I would enjoy what days you are home with them even if that means they don't nap... it's just more time with mommy which they need. Before you know it they'll be in kindergarten and it will be a mute point.

I'm assuming from your posting that the girls share a room. Split them up...one in their room and put the other on your bed. Give them each a book or two they can "read" if they don't want to sleep but tell them that they have to stay in bed for X amount of time. Make sure to set an alarm for yourself to make sure you get them up when you told them you would. Tell them that this is Quiet time...they can read, rest, or nap but they CANNOT get out of bed until you come for them (unless there is an emergency, of course). Give them a consequence that will really matter to them and stick to it if they don't follow through. For example if you normally have dessert every night, then no dessert if they don't take their nap or no daily dose of the leftover Halloween candy w/o a nap. You can also use rewards (but be stingy with these or they will take advantage of it) for example, if they take their naps/quiet time for the week you will take them to the movies...if one does it, take her and not her sister. THAT alone will reinforce good behavior. Let them know that you are taking quiet time too (either on the computer, reading, or whatever you want to do for you)...

Establish a routine with them...read them a book before you put them down or whatever and stick by same routine everyday. Let them know that the rules for day care are the same for at home...if they nap there they nap at home...no excuses. Again, I can't stress the importance of consequences. Ride them hard the first 2-3 weeks and you should be home free after that. Good luck!

Well for starters, they are not toddlers anymore. They are preschoolers and most preschoolers at this age don't want to sleep. Your daycare provider is apparently more strict and the girls know she values that nap time like no other time of the day. They probably don't have the desire to get on her bad side by messing it up.

What's going on with you is that they are with their mommy and want to spend that time with you and they are getting older and don't feel sleepy unless they lay very still for quite awhile. You haven't expressed enough personal frustration to get them to lay still. But I'm really not sure you should. It's one thing to require a nap at daycare. Most providers work around 12-14 hours per day and this is their only break time. Then we are forced to answer phone calls from parents that often wake someone up, deal with the one that wakes up early and wants to wake up the others, clean and get ready for after nap snacks and activities. If they sleep for 2 hours we might get 30 minutes off our feet if we are lucky. Trust me, if YOU need the quiet time during this time of the day badly enough, the girls will get that. But if they aren't the least bit afraid of you or any consequences you might dole out, then they are getting too old to just willingly comply.

It would probably be a lot easier for you to offer them a quiet time at the table coloring or playing with play dough and explain to them they may not talk at all. Tell them this is mommies quiet time and if they can't play very quiet, they must take a nap instead. Then you can put them to bed an hour earlier because they'll definitely need it. You'll have some more quiet time before bed this way.

Suzi

Hi, Jamie!
I have 4 year old twin gorls, so I know what you are going through. When my girls stopped taking naps about that same age, I still made them lay down for a rest period so they weren't so cranky. I bought a small tv and DVD player for their room, and had them put in a movie and lay on their beds and rest until the movie was over. It kept them from getting cranky and tired and it works like a charm. I know some people will squawk about having a tv in the child's room, but to keep peace in the house, it's been a blessing. The girls love it, and they look forward to movie time in the afternoons.

S.

J.,
I used books on tape with my daughter. I got the disney tapes with a condensed story and used the fisher price tape recorder
and put it in. The stories have a prompt for when to turn the page, so they can do it themselves. She focused on the story and relaxed. Most of the time she fell asleep before the story was over. You can also put a couple of stories on one side of the tape. Tell the girls that they have to listen to one side of the tape and then they can get up. Some times she didn't go to sleep, but at the very least, they will have a little quiet time. It worked great for me. Try it.

Both my kids stopped taking naps at home when they were about 2 years old, but they continued to nap at day care. Ask yourself if they really need to sleep? Having a quite time may be the best you can get. Maybe just read stories or listen to music. As for the evening, maybe they just need to go to bed earlier. Their sleep/rest needs are going to continue to change, they are obviously not the same kids they were 4-6 months ago!

In december my girl and boy will be turning 2 and 3, and I am due with my third. They are not ready to give up naps because without a nap they are cranky the rest of the day. However my soon-to-be three yr old boy will do the same thing you describe if I don't watch him until he falls asleep. For a couple months, I just sit in there reading quietly until they are both asleep, this way they know they can't get up and play because I am right there to tell them no. Some days this is very frustrating for me cause it has taken an hour for him to fall asleep! But, that was worth the wait because he woke up refreshed for the rest of the day. So I suggest not leaving the room until they are asleep. At daycare, they are supervised til they fall asleep and it is apparently working, so do it at home too.

If that isn't working for you, or you just don't have the time to sit and wait on them to sleep, then maybe try building sleeping mats where ever you are so you can get stuff done while they nap on the floor or mats. As long as you are supervising them until they fall asleep, I promise they will fall asleep.

try to stick with their daycare schedule and maybe that would help. Sounds like the change in their routine may be the cause. Also when they get fussy in the evenings put them to bed earlier. After losing that time they may want to take their afternoon naps or it may work to skip the nap but have an earlier bedtime when they don't nap. Some kids grow out of naps earlier. My oldest quit taking naps at 18 months but wasn't fussy at all and didn't go to bed at night until 9:00 and woke up around 8:30-9:00 am. 2nd child took naps until she was 4. 3rd child was around 2 1/2 when he quit naps so each child is different. Some kids get their 12 hours of sleep all at once overnight others sleep shorter at night and need afternoon naps.

I did always have quiet time during the afternoon when they used to take naps. I would put a baby gate up to their door, leave the door open so I could peek in and check on them anytime and most of the time they didn't see me but could play quietly in their room or watch a movie and unless they needed to go potty they stayed in their room until quiet time was over, sometimes they would get bored enough to fall asleep but most of the time played quietly in their rooms and knew this was their daily routine after lunch so we didn't have any fussing issues with it. It didn't matter if they slept or not but that quiet time was expected and usually when I got most of the housework done or read a book.

My 2 yougest are 18 months apart and when they were little I have to admit that nap time was something I looked forward to. i still do. I am the kind of person that needs that hour or 2 in the afternoon if I am going to get through the night time rituals. My kids seemed to need it less than I did and I would get so frustrated with them, all I wanted to do was lay down for a few minutes. I just needed some quiet time, not always sleep time.

I came up with something that worked fairly well at our house.

When it came time for nap time, I would stretch out on the sofa and they would pop in a movie. The each had to bring in a pillow and blanket to the living room floor. I made sure they laid them out in area where they would not be right up against each other, to cut down on giggle time. I told them that this my nap time, not theirs, and that I really needed it to be quiet. Of course I was secretly hoping it would turn into their nap time as well. Because I was serious about it being my nap time they made sure to be very quiet for me. They had strict instructions not to get up until the movie had finished.

Well you know what happens with a pillow and blanket, and quiet time. They almost always fell asleep. From time to time I did as well, but either way i enjoyed the quiet. The times that they did not fall asleep, they had enough rest that they were able to get through the rest of the day.

It worked well for us, I hope it does for you.

I too agree with Linda B. You can't make kids sleep but you can make them be quiet. Kids that age don't want to sleep and resist being forced to. And separating them is key. My youngest girls are 17 months apart, which was almost like having twins. When they napped together, they got very giggly. Separating them gives them nothing to play off of. Just threatening to separate them may be enough. I would tell them they could talk quietly or read, but could not be up giggling or jumping on the bed. Several times I'd come in and separate them and that put an end to it. So, they learned that if they wanted to nap together, they had to behave. And usually they did. I did the same thing at bedtime, because with those two girls - every night was a slumber party to them!

On a humorous note, when my son was about 2, my father in law had to come live with us in our 2 bedroom apartment. He shared a room with my son. So my son napped with Papa. And one time, I hear bursts of giggling from my son and I peeked in the bedroom and Papa was laying in bed making faces and entertaining my son who is supposed to be napping. I had to separate them. Yep, I made Papa leave the room and put him in a time-out in the livingroom!

My daughter is 4 and we fight at nap time all the time. But, if she doesn't nap, she is a terror. So, we bought her her own stereo (it's a princess one for kids)and she loves Delilah soft rock. So we recorded some Delilah and bought some other CDs. We let her pick what she listens to. As long is she is resting in her bed she can listen to the CDs or stereo. If we have to fight about it, we bring the stereo out of her room. Another thing, there is a weighted blanket you can buy. I can't think of the name of it but you can probably look it up. Anyway, it provides extra feeling of security for the child while they sleep. Hope these suggestions help.

Amen to Linda B. She said just what I would have said.

if they're tired & stressed in the evening (after no nap), then they're not quite ready to give up the nap. As a childcare provider, I find that having the same routine at home & here makes it a much easier life on all involved.

Currently I have 2 4 y.o. girls & 2 18 month girls....the babies have packNplays in bedrooms....& the 4 y.o. girls sleep on sleeping bag pallets in the living room. The overhead lights are off, the quiet music is on. A hug, a few kind words...& they're all asleep....all at different times. Naptime is about 2 hours, from beginning to end with about 1 hour in the middle where they're all asleep.

It's the same routine everyday. On Mondays, the older girls are exhausted from not having dedicated naps on the weekend & they ususally crash. On Tuesday, we're back in the routine. I enforce naptime because our school district has full day KG & the children have a 1 hour quiet time for the 1st semester. They are required to lay on KG mats & be absolutely still & quiet.

All of my daycare children are away from home 10-12 hours each day, with the evening still to get through. I can't imagine an evening without a nap! For your twins, another thought would be that at the daycare they have sooo many other things to do & other kids to play with....they're wearing themselves out more with all of the day-to-day stimulation......that's part of the reason "why" they're able to nap there!

Sooo, set up a dedicated nap routine & stick with it! Everybody will be happier.

I am anxious to read other responses before I repeat what is already said.

Sometimes we try to many things instead of sticking with this is how it is. It is hard to do when you have two. My sister had triplets, but they never went to daycare so everything was constent. They did have to move one of the children to another room. Which is a possibility, but I worked in a daycare and a trick we always used was turn off the light put on quiet relaxing music, sit in between both girls and rub their back slowly, a lite consistant tapping was useful as well. Make sure you are sitting up by their heads so they can not see each other. Do not make eye contact with them. It gives them the opening to ask you a question. Just look forward with your eyes closed and if they do ask a question simply say shhh nothing else. Its not easy but they will understand more of what you want from them. because if you answer they aren't trying to be difficult they just think its okay to ask another and then another and so on. This could take 15 to 20 min. You will be able to tell when you slowly stop patting or rubbing their backs after they close their eyes. When you stop if they open their eyes they need alittle longer. The first few times you try this might take longer. Then you will start to see them falling asleep sooner. Good Luck!

Thank goodness for naptime!

I use to run an in home daycare. Find out what works for the daycare and then try that at home. I always lay blankets out on the living room floor and have them lay there. It maybe that when you have them lay in your room or their room they think that it's bed time not nap time. Hopefully this will work for you. Good luck.