Toddler Having Trouble Adjusting.

Wow...many thanks to your daughter for serving our country!! And thanks to you for taking care of her children! I would think that she needs to give herself time to adjust, since it must be a tremendous change for her. As for the kids, I would say that it is natural for them to have some difficulty. I agree with the other post about the high energy level of little boys. Boys also seem, at least outwardly, to have more adjustment issues. Keeping him busy and active is key as much as possible. My two boys are always on the go, and whenever I think they've had enough activity, they always need more. Your daughter should look at a "new normal." Her son might need the extra activity and the extra attention for awhile. All the best to all of you.

Just make sure she is following a good schedule. Young children like schedules. Like knowing what is going to happen next.

Also little boys have a ton of energy. They really need to be kept going and blowing. Sister may be fine with playing inside with playdo, coloring, dress up etc.. , but her son needs to be able to be outside for at least an hour in the morning and again in the afternoon.. Running, jumping climbing, peddling ,yelling, digging, throwing, kicking. .. Running errands does not count. Of course her daughter will also benefit from these activities too.

Her son may also have some attachment issues. He may need a lot more reassurance that she is really going to be there. At some point when he is a little older she can talk about when she goes away for work, she will come back.

Just remind her they are twins, but he is still a boy and they each have different personalities and different needs.

tell this young woman to shake the sand out of her boots, kiss her kids and give them a little time, staying with them for a short stay may be the thing to do, it will help all three of them.
K. h.

I think getting a routine going is the best way. Kids really thrive with routine and I'm sure you had one when they were with you. They need to know what to expect and everything is new, so they are going to definitely go through a transition phase. I would make sure that she is making a bedtime routine-bath, story, bedtime to help with the sleeping and ease him into sleeping. All kids adjust differently, so she may need to be patient with him and give some extra attention until he is comfortable. My 2 year old also has a stuffed lamby he likes to sleep with so she may want to try getting him something special like that.

I totally agree with routine and snuggles from his mom. We do bath, book and then bed every night...and my little guys always go down better after some snuggles and talking. Also, there was one night when my eldest son was around a year old that we changed around his room...moved furniture and some of his stuffed animals on this shelf that was next to his bed. He would NOT go to sleep...he missed the teddies next to his bed b/c he babbled at them. :) After putting them back next to his bed, he fell asleep. Maybe have her think about what you had in his room or near his bed or what he snuggled (teddy, blanket, etc) when he went to sleep at your house. Good luck. :)

Thank your daughter for serving our country. Her son has only really known you. I don't think it is an unfair comparisson to when someone has adopted a child and there world is turned upside down. He is grieving you and his old routine. Some children have a more difficult time with bonding and attachments. There are books about children who are adopted and how they are helped to adjust to their new home.

Take care
J.