Toddler Behavior - Plainfield,IL

SD
Try Dr Sears discipline book. One thing that really works with my kids is telling them what they can "You may play at the park"," we can run when we are playing tag". Bribery will work occasionally if it is something the child really wants.
For the little brother issues you can try if you want something he has you have to trade with him every time.Also remind him that his brother will do everything he does and does he like it when his brother takes things from him?
The other parents have bad days too. Good luck to you.
J. O

Please try telling him what to do instead of what NOT to do. It's like yelling at a puppy for trying to pee in the house. You speak sharply to stop the behavior, but you have to follow immediately with what you want to teach them. Example: (puppy) No! sharp voice. Outside! happy voice. Kids need a literal phrase to learn what we want. Saying "be nice" doesn't mean anything. Saying "stop hitting" leaves him wondering what to do to get what he wants. Saying "soft hands" or " hands to yourself" and "we share" or "we take turns" helps them understand what we want. Don't give up on the time outs, though. They work if you are consistent every time. As for the running away, that's grounds for going home immediately. You only have to do it 2 or 3 times to break that habit. Then just remind him about it each time you go to the park.

Your little guy is so normal – lots of wants and almost no impulse control. His head can process the rules, but his little emotions aren't there yet. Not really his fault – he'll be gradually getting more in control of himself over the next 2-3 years. More of the time, anyway.

Meanwhile, you need parenting techniques that work. I know parents who do well with Love and Logic, The Happiest Toddler on the Block, and 1-2-3 Magic.

My personal favorite, that has been wildly effective with my 4.5 grandson, is How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk. It coaches you along so you can immediately start incorporating the simple and sensible examples into your everyday situations. The authors, Faber and Mazlish, also have a book called Siblings Without Rivalry that is popular with a few young families I know.

Be aware that not all children respond well to punishment, or even time-outs. Some kids only become more frustrated, reactive and willful until you get to the root of their authentic needs. Otherwise, the needs keep growing, and their ability to cope keeps shrinking.

Good luck. I commend your willingness to keep looking for an approach that works for your son. Kids sure do require us to stay on our toes.

Parenting with Purpose is a good book although it was written a while ago (80s I think). I also heard good things about 1, 2, 3 Magic although I haven't read it myself. Try looking up discipline books in Amazon. Reviews are usually very helpful as to whether its a good book that works. Best of luck!

Congrats, your son is normal! All parents experience what you are going through, though to different degrees based on a child's personality. My daughter was - and still is sometimes - a spitfire. The following resources help us stay on the positive discipline track: 1) Tuesday's Child in Chicago. TC has classes for parents and kids. 2) Love and Logic. L&L is based in Colorado, but they have a great website with free e-mailed tips, as well as DVDs, books and such for sale. 3) Smart Love. I believe this group is local, so you should be able to find some meetings. All these resources draw on child psychology and are science-based. I credit them with greatly improving my relationship with my daughter. Good luck.

At home, after the time out, you should remind him that his brother is not going to play with that toy forever and will put it down soon. He needs to find another toy while he waits. Pushing and hurting another is not acceptable. At the park,I would give the toy back and have a talk with him on the side. If he can not follow your rules, he will have time out in the park. If he does it again let him know that you will leave the park. At home, you can try role playing how to behave. 1) If someone has a toy, you can ask if you can play with that person too or can I have a turn and be sure to share time with that toy or you can just tell him that toy doesn't belong to him and that's that. For every time out, you should back it up with what he did wrong, and maybe even ask him what he could have done differently (with some guidance). Good luck.

I want to second what the previous poster suggested. The Smart Love book literally changed my life. My son also is extremely active and the book made me realize that (as many others have said) it is normal. I still worry too much about the other parents with their calm and perfect children, I work on this all the time, but I have grown to love my son's exuberance and to help him to channel it in a positive way. I also have much better faith in what I am doing is correct. Also, I finally realized one day that my son is extremely curious and what many others would label as "mis-behaving" really just is his curiousity. We eventually had him tested and he has a very high IQ so everything started to make sense. Here is a link to the book:
The Smart Love Parent: The Compassionate Alternative To Discipline

http://www.amazon.com/Smart-Love-Parent-Compassionate-Alt...

I studied child/infant psychology and Dr. Sears is one of the most practical one out there. I use this book to help with our own 4 year old with issues and it helps us tremendously. I strongly recommend you check it out.

The Discipline Book: How to Have a Better-Behaved Child From Birth to Age Ten by. Dr. Sears

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0316779032/jamen

In the psychology world there is plenty of debate over whether time outs are good or counterproductive. They certainly are not recommended before age 3. Your little boy is acting very developmentally appropriately. He sounds like a more typical strong willed child - just as my little 3 yr old girl is. A strong willed child will test the limits over and over again. it is interesting to watch but can be pretty frustrating. Here are a few books I have found useful:
1,2,3 magic
How to parent your strongwilled child
Unconditional parenting by Alfie Kohn

One of the most important things I learnt from several of the books is to remain calm and to avoid extended dialogue that leads to a fight on whatever it is that you are trying to get sweet pea to do. Also consistency and following through on related consequences is important. Pick consequences that are reasonable and that you can live with yourself ie don't say you are taking the bike away for ever or for a week.

good luck.

3 is not a toddler. He's a little boy. He can understand rules and needs to follow them for his own safety (and your sanity). I'm sure he's sweet but it sounds like it's time to get tough mama. He can miss play time if he dosent obey you. If hes mean to his brother, he will be mean to other children as well. It all starts at home. If my children aren't nice to each other they are not allowed to play with anyone else until they are. Keepthe rules clear and simple. He will feel more secure once he has the rules he can follow. You will both be happier. Hang in there, motherhood is not for sissys!

I also am finding Siblings without Rivalry very effective and recently picked up a book recommended by my sister in law, who is a therapist and social worker: Active Parenting Now! I plan to read How to Listen so your child will talk and how to talk so your child will listen (I am sure I miswrote that title!).

Good luck-
A.

I think you need to put him in time out immediately after he misbehaves. Don't talk to him until after the time out and explain why he had timeout. Don't bribe him. Motivate him by explaining before you go to the park or playground, that if he is not nice, takes away toys or disobeys you, you will leave the park and go home. After a few times of leaving his fun and play, he'll get the idea. Remove him from the situation when he misbehaves. Also, tell him if he behaves at the park, you will do something special with him. Follow through and be consistent.