Toddler Afraid of Going to the Potty!

Boys seem to have this fear much more so than girls. Something about having the external organ. My two older boys were potty trained early, next 2 didn't go poopy on the potty consistantly until 4yo. I wasn't really pushing it either, but that is when they were ready. I think that the busier the lifestyle the harder to accomplish such a big thing in their little lives. I just know from experience where there is fear on any issue you have to back off and leave it alone, and they usually come around in their own time. I hope you find what works for you.

Don't push it. Children who hold their BMs are often trying to assert power and control over their lives. If you push it, you turn it into a greater power struggle and your son may have bowel issues for the rest of his life. My suggestions: find ways to give your son power and control over other areas in his life. Back off on the potty training for now and try again later. When you reintroduce potty training perhaps you need a different approach. Your son may have mixed feelings about being a big boy, especially with a new baby brother in the house. It's scary to grow up and enter into unknown territory. There may be some family dynamic issues that need to be addressed.

both of my boys did this. They weren't ready to sit on the potty until 3 yrs 2 months approx. there was nothing wrong with them. They weren't ready. They are a ok and well-adjusted boys. Give your son time to get ready for it. Boys develop differently and at different times.
Peace,
Pam

I CARE FOR MY 4 GRANDCHILDREN AND HAVE 2 OF THEM ALREADY POTTY TRAINED .BOTH OF THEM DID THE SAME TO ME AND I JUST KEPT REASURING THEM IT IT WAS OK NOT TO BE SCARED AND I WOULD STAY WITH THEM AND SING SONGS AND MAKE POOTY TIME MORE FUN. THE MORE SILLY I MADE POTTY TIME THE EAISIER IT WAS.

my son did the same thing, he would pee in potty and be so proud but wouldn't poo in potty. he would try and then would get scared about something and hold it in. i figured you know you got a go so i didn't put a diaper on him. well, he held it till he couldn't hold it no more. what a mess. after that i think he regressed a bit and had issues peeing in the potty. i pushed him about the potty when i shouldn't have. he started peeing in the potty again within a couple of days, but still wouldn't poo. i started by tellin him to let me know when he had to poo and i would put a diaper on him, he would poo, i'd clean him up and put his underwear back on him. we did that for like a month, then i found this really cool chore chart at target that is magnetic and dry erasable. it came with like 50 little magnetic stars and some said good job, etc. i drew a picture of a toilet on there and told him every time you poo in potty you get a star. when he earned 2 stars i'd give him a cookie, and when he got to four stars i gave him a sheet of stickers and when he got 6 stars i'd take him to the park, etc. and we'd start over every week. that seemed to help him alot. i found a kids book thats about going potty adn it has this button to push and it makes a flushing sound. he liked that too. he turned 3 in december and we havent had aany accidents in months. now i just have to get him trained at night. he still wears a diaper to sleep or he'll pee in the bed in his sleep. i know this was kindof long, but the reward system really worked for me. he enjoyed picking which star and puting it on there. and don't push them. that makes things worse...good luck...

I just finished potty training my 2 yr old daughter. I tried at a younger age and she did the same thing. I suggest; i guess you can call it a strategy. While your son is still in the diaper (without pressuring him to go potty), find a friend, cousin someone he likes that he can see go potty or that can tell him 'diapers are eww yucky' or something like that, and at the same time you and his father at home encourage him that the diaper is yucky and you and his father are cool becuase you don't wear a diaper...i know it sounds weird but it really worked with me. My daughter really started to feel like she wants to be a big girl like mommy and her cousin maya and all the other people i named to her. All this and I still didn't tell her to sit on the potty. Also everytime i changed her diaper i would say something like 'yucky kaka in the diaper, bravo daddy you do kaka on the potty'...in what ever way that would get your sons attention. it's kind of like using reverse psychology, then soon HE will want to be a big boy and sit on the potty. Just make sure you do all this and not ask him to go potty. Than when you feel he's ready...start! Let me know if you want to know what i did to potty train her. It took 7 days from the day we took the diaper off! GOOD LUCK!!

The most important thing is to prevent him from getting constipated. I would keep him in his diaper for now, and don't pressure him to go on the potty. If he continues to hold his bm's, you can give him mineral oil mixed with a little oj in the evening (I would start with 1 tablespoon) and this will get him pooping again. It takes 24 hours to work, and it's best if you give it to him for a week, each evening. This will prevent him from holding his poops. You can also add fiber to his diet; popcorn has lots of fiber...
Once he's going normally you could try the potty again, but I would not put too much pressure on him. Maybe he had a hard bm while sitting on the potty, so now he associates it with a painful poop. Good luck!

Hi M.,
I know this can be frustrating, we recently finished tackling this exact problem. Our 3 year old has used the potty to pee since before he was 2, but pooping was a scary thing for him. He would hold it in (sometimes for days) and cry and not want to sit on any potty. Our problem is completely gone now. This is what we did.....after he pooped his big boy underwear (no diapers) we put it into the potty and flushed it. We talked about how the poop really wants to be in the potty because that is where poopy goes. When we flushed we cheered and said bye poopy. Soon he was sitting on the potty, but still much of the poop was in his pants. He was still scared and we would try to make it fun by singing songs and just being goofy. The first time he really got most of it in the potty we called his grandpa (Pap) who hooted and hollered like crazy man on the phone. We did talk to Pap in advance so he would be supportive in our efforts. Josh told his Pap that it looked like a rocketship and now everytime he poops he can't wait to do a poop report (with full descprition) to his Pap on the telephone. I know it sounds crazy, but being able to brag about it and make light of it made it fun for him and no longer scary. My father now calls himself the poop doctor and it is a big joke. My son is very proud of himself and we have to try to get him not to report his poops to everyone. He no longer holds it and is eager to get to the potty so he can make his call afterwards. So if you have someone special he can call and give a report to it may make it fun and end the mess. (This person needs to really go crazy on the phone and cheer and scream and ask them lots of questions about it (size, shape, color), etc..) My sister up north is now doing the same thing with her little boy and Pap is a busy guy these days. She said after the second call he never pooped his pants again and now just calls to brag about his poops. I know it sounds nutty, but it really works! Good luck!
A.

I think your plan of action depends on why he suddenly is frightened, and you need to somehow get to the bottom of what caused this sudden change.

Did he have a hard poop that was painful and now he thinks every poop will hurt? If so, talk to your pediatrician about giving him a stool softener AND gentle laxative or suppository so he can't hold it in and will discover that it doesn't always hurt. If this is the culprit, nip it now or it will turn into a viscious cycle that could go on for months/years of constipation, painful poops, and the loss of sensation of when he needs to go.

It could actually be something else, though. Is he afraid to fall in the toilet and get flushed away with his poop? Is he just too busy playing and doesn't want to stop to go into the boring bathroom to do a boring poop? A friend of mine with a psycology background figured out that his daughter was afraid to let a part of her go, so he told her there is a poppy fairy who collects all of the poop that gets flushed and saves it to give it back to you as a grown up!!! Gross, but it worked for his daughter!!!