Today's Unbelievable Court Ruling.....

Wow how scary, I always dread the chance of something like that happening to us. Hang in there and document everything.

Appeal.

And make sure you write down specific quotes from the mediator. "Bringing it on yourself" is a quote that REALLY won't fly with most.

And if you aren't in touch with victims services... get in touch... pronto. They'll be appalled.

Hi O., You really should get some kind of counseling to get you through this tough time. I too went through exactly what you have. People aren't perfect, and when their world as they knew it is coming to an end people do terrible things. I'm sure he is a great father to your child. And at 4 years old she will get over the fear. The important thing to remember is she is loved by you both. Unless he has been violent and an unfit parent then your crys will go unheard by all mediators (and even attorneys). You really need to get some counseling, sharing custody can work but you have to be able to be an adult about it. It really is in the best interests of your daughter. As a mother of three boys I assure you they all came out fine and unscathed through the whole ordeal. Their father has disowned them on his own, but they know a mothers love is always unconditional. So it's a win win situation for me but the memories that they could've had with their father can only be thought of as "What if". Please I beg you get counseling to help you through this tough time and never talk about your ex in front of her.
S.

Take your daughter to a psychologist for an evaulation. If the evaluator finds that she is truly afraid of her father and that this visitation schedule is NOT in her best interests, take your husband back to court with a copy of the psychologists report in hand. It will be costly to have her evaluated and for the psychologist to write a report, but it will be worth it if it saves your daughter this anxiety. My daughter felt the same way when she went to mediation; I have heard this several times that the mediators seem to take the father's side. I don't know what that's about, but I personally have absolutely no faith in those mediators. I don't know what kind of training/education they claim to have, but one thing is for sure, none of them have children (at least they act like they don't!)

I would suggest to get your daughter's doctor involved - have a medical referral to see a psych therapist that would strongly suggest a "transition plan" or at the very least delay the court order for the well being of your child mentally & emotionally- Not to mention your concerns for her physical safety.

I can not believe that they would do that esp. your daughter is only 4 - She will need couseling ....

cant you ask for a mis trial, a different judge? i know i sure would do what ever you can to get out of that jurisdiction and get another court hearing

omg that is not healthy for here and seems to me like you need to appeal it California law is differant but you already got full custody and no visitation it should have been done and over with after that ruling. Document everything that your daughter says does and feels. I will keep you in my thoughts this is every mothers worst nightmare

Hugs, O.... you are not alone. This seems to be a trend in the legal system. Your story sounds exactly like my best friend's story.

You must fight, knock down walls, tear things up (all figuratively)... there is a solution and an answer.

Have you taken your daughter to a doctor or therapist? Will that doctor speak on her behalf?

If you don't have a lawyer, google child custody lawyer & find the best one you can. He/she should know all the right things to do.

Do not give up, hug your daughter & help her through this process. Be strong & courageous!!

O., Having sat in a court room weekly over several months on a legal matter as a character witness I can say that I have seen many unbelieveable things. I will repeat what the judge just said at the last hearing and hope it helps you also as so many highly charged emotions were in place" This is now a time to set aside all emotions as they dull the resolution process. It is a time for logic, reality, and calm minds or the results will be the issues look to go in favor the side of the real issue".
I am the mother of 5 and have fought hell and back for some of my foster children that I love and treasure so I understand that you are desperate and doing what you have to do to protect your child not just yourself. I am not being mean but is there any chance that he's not the father and you can have that out to get rid of him? I have seen a couple of women do that and it worked because the man didn't want to pay for the DNA testing. Just a thought that you must have already had before. I am assuming you have asked to have this reheard, I know to show the mediator has bias is hard but can be done if they can sort through to the real issue and again emotion is set aside.
You can ask for someone to be there at the exchange of the child. You can actually do it at the courthouse, the police department or depending on cut backs have an officer there at your home. You can hire a off duty officer to be there and many will do that for you so you have the power and the control. You can request but only if you were married tht the man not bring any women friends, that he be drug tested before pick up. I have literally seen this requestd in the past months at court, my family members that are in law in various ways all tell me it is feasible. I hope that you have kept a binder of all the incidents and dates and have the police reports. If not I encourage you to start with what you do acutally have and keep EVERYTHING and get photo's as well and keep 911 on speed dial and tell them that someone is trying to harm your child These officers a family men and most are honorable and good men and will set aside the fights between adults that are acting like jr. high school kids for the best things for the children. I have sat and held the hand of an officer that cried as he talked about what he had seen that day and kept repeating "if only she had followed thru instead of letting him off again and again".
I have 3 4yrold grandchildren and can't even fatom the fear the child is reeling from because of what she hears from both of you and what her little eyes have beheld. Is there a family member on his side you trust? Will they help your child while in his care?
My heart goes out to your little one and all I can do is say that I will pray for you and hope you recieve the strength to do what you have to do. Stay Strong and make your voice heard by the State Attorney General if you have to and write letters to those in office that can change laws.

Was the mediation binding?
Did you have an opportunity to contest the mediator's conclusions?
Was your attacker your daughter's father?
or someone else?
Does the father have appropriate living conditions in place?
I find it very hard to imagine how a mediator could conclude
that you brought an attack upon yourself.
Sending positive thoughts and concern for your little girl.

Go to an abused women's shelter they have lots of resources to help you. I have a friend that called one and set an appointment up and she was able to get a lot of legal help.

It is not okay. Fight it. What does your lawyer say about all this? Get him/her working for you again and get that little girl back.

sounds like you need to appeal the decision. sorry to hear the bad news.

appeal appeal appeal!!!

Ask the court to assign a Guardian Ad Litem to your child. They will meet with your child (if he/she is old enough to talk to. the GAL will interview several people that are a part of your child's life. Each of you get to suggest who you want them to interview but of course they will also interview others (and these others will likely include someone you do not want to hear from). Anyway, a GALs' recommendations are a lot more revealing than a mediator's and are very strongly respected by the courts.

You need to make an appeal. And if needbe, get yourself the best lawyer that money can buy. Your life and your daughter's are worth it!