To Work or Be a SAHM

Updated on January 13, 2009
A.C. asks from Mentor, OH
8 answers

Merry Christmas everyone----My husband and I keep having this discussion that I should go back to work part-time. Our children are 5 & 6 right now. Madison goes to school from 8:30 - 11:00 a.m 4 days a week and I drive and pick her up and then she's home with me all day. Jacob is in school all day everyday but I take and pick him up. 2 days a week I take Jacob to Speech therapy, in addition to dr. appts, library, , managing the whole picture of the house (bills, food, cleaning, laundry, cooking, repairs, etc.) My opinion is if I can find someone (free of charge, responsible, dependable, etc.) to take and pick up my kids from school, take them to their appts, speech, etc. and I can find a part time job to pay me enough to compensate the time I'm away, gas, lunch, clothes, etc. Then I will gladly do it. He just see's the additional $'s. But, doesn't see where they are going. How do I get him to see the light--or am I not seeing the picture correctly. Please advise.

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So What Happened?

Thank you moms who responded. I have been losing sleep over this whole issue and going back to school, too. I'm leaning towards continuing to stay home, get our finances and a family life structure in place, quitting school for at least the spring and summer and see how I feel about school in the Fall. I just need to slow down, focus on my children and husband and regroup as a family. We have both (hubby and I) been running in different directions since our son came home 6 years ago and it needs to stop. Again, thank you for the advice -- i do appreciate it.

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T.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

Real quickly--I think part-time work is the best solution.
Full-time leaves you exhausted, and sometimes feeling guilty, and SAHMoms have I'm-the-maid-around-here and lonliness issues. (generally speaking, doesn't apply to all)
It's important to have recent work experience in case you need it, and it provides adult time and outside of the home feelings of productivity. Hope it works out!!

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M.C.

answers from Youngstown on

If you can find someone to do all that for free, let me know...I could use them!! You are right...I don't see how you could get a job with all that going on. No one is going to drive your kids for free (unless its a family member). And besides, they are only this age once. Spend your days with them. Every day make a list of what you did that day...all the places you drove, the dishes, laundry, dinner etc. and maybe your husband will realize how much you do in a day. Also that if you are working that these things will not be getting done everyday. I don't think he wants to come home to a messy house and no dinner made, no bills paid etc.

Men sometimes don't see the whole picture. He is just seeing dollar signs and not all the rest of it. Good luck and let us know what you decide to do!

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J.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

I can absolutely understand your situation. When my husband & I decided that we needed more income instead of going and working somewhere I decided to start my own Tupperware business. I get to set my own hours and the best part is that I can give myself a raise anytime I want. I had tried other in home business with no success. Tupperware sells itself (basically) because everyone has heard of it and we truely provide products to help people save time & money. If you are still looking for a part-time income and would like to find out how you can start your own business for FREE I would love to talk to you. It doesn't matter where you live because you can do this anywhere and anytime!!! Set your own hours and work it around your family! I have now been selling Tupperware for almost 2 years. I've earned FREE trips, products, and am almost a Director with tupperware! Also, I was on the Rachael Ray Show in April. I hope to hear from you.
Feel free to email me or call me at ###-###-####.
www.jenniferdeanthetupperwarequeen.com

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S.Z.

answers from Cleveland on

If your still going to school then I would say no to a part time job. However if not then perhaps a pt job would be ok, just 2 nights a week. Look at if from your husbands point of view. You may be "babying him too much" or too clingy when he gets home. Perhaps he just feel you need some adult interaction. I mean it sound like your totally devoted tothe children, which is great but you also have to have grownup time with other grown ups. I was in the same boat. I babied my husband (even cut his food up one night) when he got home from work. That was when I knew I NEEDED to get a break from the children just for a little while. Talk it over with him. Divide up the house stuff and if it doesnt work, then its just pt, no harm, no foul!
SZ

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D.H.

answers from Cleveland on

I think you are seeing the picture very clear! Before you know it,both of your children will be in school all day and then you will have some free time to maybe work the hours they are at school. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Lafayette on

I think you are seeing it clearly... you are doing exactly what I wish I could do but can seem to find a way... I work FT... have a hard time getting the bills paid house clean and all that stuff... It sounds like you are "working" he just doesn't see it... I have always told my husband if I ever get to stay home I will do everything at the house his only job would be the $$ making one... that to me sounds like a fair exchange... right now we try to share the household chores and stuff but it is difficult... anyway if you must work look into some home party sales things like Pampered Chef or something I am sure there are millions to choose from and then you could work a few evenings a week and he can take care of the kids... you will have already done the running he will just have to feed them and put them to bed...Good Luck!

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K.T.

answers from Columbus on

I also think you are seeing things clearly ... and I believe it's far-fetched to think you might find someone free of charge to do all the running with the kids.

Good luck with your decision!

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K.V.

answers from Indianapolis on

This was something that I debated with my hubby while I was still working full time. I had always worked and only took 2 week maternity leaves with all 3 of my kids. When the daycare bills began to take up most of my paychecks and gas rose to over $3/gal, it was not worth the money for me to go to work everyday anymore. I had no money left by the time I paid for gas and daycare. Put it down on paper for him. You may be able to find something to do on-line from home for a little extra money. A friend of mine found a reputable place on the news where she worked from home answering phone calls for infomercials. The calls rang right to her established line, and she processed the orders from there.

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