To Wean or Not to Wean?

I know that the WHO (World Health Organization) recommends breast-feeding for 2 years to get the max benefits. Just something to think about! I wish I had been able to breastfeed that 2nd year. I stopped at 13 months due to a medication that I had to take.

P.

Hi J.,

My daughter was weaned at 15 months she just wasn't interested anymore so I felt that was fine. My nephew was also weaned at 15 months so my sister and I feel that 15 months is about the right time for a child to be weaned. So you could just wean him and he should be fine.

I would go with your gut feeling, as you know what is best for your little one. Mamas usually do! There is evidence that nursing beyond a year still has health benefits (Sears family The Breastfeeding Book, www.kellymom.com, The Nursing Mother's Companion), but your baby knows what he wants and needs. I haven't weaned my 14-month old yet and don't plan to do so until she turns 2 because she is still interested in nursing 2-3 times during the day.

Good luck!

You are a great Mommy....as a Breastfeeding Peer Counslor and a mom to an 17 month old...here are just a few things I know...I too feel like I could breastfeed my child forever because I love that bond and time with him as well!! You are very lucky in that he can sleep with out without nursing. I would suggest you continue not feeding him to go to sleep being that he does need to learn to self soothe and go to sleep on his own(which it sounds like he has). I think the info you have is pretty acurate..at this point he is getting most of his nutrients from food, and a little from you but not as when you were exclusively nursing. Your breastmilk will change according to his needs and with as little as you are nursing it sounds like the nutritional support from you is minimal. Just a few more thoughts. The world average age for children to completely wean is 4 years old. This being said, my thoughts are use him as your cue. He will let you know his needs and (i say this for both of us!! ) nursing for just yourself will not serve him. Doesnt that suck..lol. But, seriously, Maybe you could have a time durring the day that you two take some time, by yourselves and offer to nurse him then. If he wants to great, if not then spend that time creating a new way of bonding, create other ways of being intimate with him.(massage, reading, a special game that only you two play, plain old snuggle time in bed) Nursing is sooo intimate, such a special thing that only we get to share with our child and it is dang hard to let that go. But, the best thing we can do as mothers is listen and respond to what our child needs and wants even if it sometimes goes against what we want (like to nurse forever)....(dang it, lol)He needs to develop a sense of self and if he is ready to let go of nursing then you should look at it as you have given him everything he needs so far to feel confident enough to stop. That is a huge accomplishment and BRAVO to you!!!! Just remember, your bond with him will always change form BUT you can always be bonded thru different forms and will always have that bond with him...(even when he screams "I hate you" at 14 years old, which if he does it is because of the trust in your bond with him.)I have learned that motherhood is more that just teaching right and wrong and keeping them clean, loved, safe and fed...it seems to be more about lovingly letting go so they can become all of who they are meant to be in this world. Just remember, what ever you are doing and what ever you choose to do about nursing...look to him and trust your insitinct. You know what he needs and will be able to respond the way that is best for him. Best of luck!!!D~

Wow, you have done an amazing job! The national average of breastfeeding is only 3 months, and you have for over 1 year. Congrats!

Obviously there are unending benefits of breastfeeding. Even though his nutritional needs are different now, your milk is still good for him and provides added nutrition that is more suited to his needs than formula or milk would. Have you talked to your pediatrician and asked for his opinion? If your little guy is a picky eater, the pediatrician may say to continue for his health. However he may also say that your son is fine and that a vitamin supplement would help.

Another thing to give him that is totally natural and packed full of nutrition is a green smoothie. Babies and young children (in my experience) love the sweetness of them. Mix 1 handful of spinach, 1 peach, and 1 cup water in a blender or Vita Mix until it's liquified. Serve it in a sippy cup. It's pretty good. You jusy have to be sure it's not chunky. You can also look online for other kinds of green smoothies to make.

As for the bond, you will have that with your son forever. He looks at you totally different than he does his father or any other caretaker in his life, and that will never go away, even after breastfeeding.

I think it is as hard on mom to wean as it is on baby (sounds like it may even be harder on you!). It's so nice to have that quiet, relaxed, comfortable time with baby.

Look at it this way. If he is fine without it and you are wondering whether to stop or not, I would stop. He doesn't seem to "need" it anymore, so maybe its time to move on.

Best wishes and lots of smiles to you!

Their immune systems are only 60% dev. at 12m. Continue as long as you can. Look at the Le Leche League site or their books, The WOmanly Art of Breastfeeding... ALOT of benefits if you continue. Sounds like you've been blessed with a milk supply, use it.
About solids: avoid preservatives, sugar, salt, fried foods.... especially if you stop BF. Help their brains and immune systems by only giving foods that will help them.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/babyselfwean.html

Hi J.,
As others have already said, it's really up to you. My son was born Sept 22, 2007 and I nursed him through the first year, too. I didn't think I was ready to give it up either; enjoying the closeness especially before bed. He was only nursing in the morning and at night at that point (I work full time and pumping during the day quit producing enough to sustain him throughout the day around 11 mos) so knowing that the time was coming I added a story to our bedtime routine as kind of a substitute for that closeness. Now, after he's had his shower and gets into his pj's, we settle down in the glider with a bottle and a book. That way, we still get our cuddle time. Actually getting him completely off the breast was way easier than expected. For about two weeks, I would approach bedtime/morning armed with a bottle. Some nights/mornings he would push it aside and nuzzle my breast, other times he'd take the bottle. It became a "don't offer, don't refuse" kind of thing. Then he just stopped asking. Sad? Yes. But also a bit liberating, I have to admit. I'm still getting used to the idea that I can take aspirin for a headache. And my husband and I just went out this past weekend for the first time where I didn't have to be home in time for my son's bedtime. I hope my experience has been helpful. Best of luck!

Hi J.,

There is just one thing I want to say and I hope you believe this, no matter what you read or hear from others there is one thing that is true. You can always find pros and cons for everything under the sun but only one thing matters...

If it works for you and your family then it is the right thing to do.

I breastfed my first past 2 and my second just past his 3rd Birthday. My second, I thought honestly would self wean by 1. I was surprised he kept on going. He too eventually was only nursing at night and would even go days without. For me, besides it being something he really loved, I found it very useful when he got sick. Having an older sister, she brought a lot of crud home and my son never got really really sick - he'd get a runny nose, we'd nurse 24/7 and that was that. He'd get a tummy virus, throw up/diarhea - he'd nurse 24/7 and he'd be well - no dehydration, etc.. Nothing like momma's milk when they are sick.

For me, I prefered my kids to self wean. It's your decision - if you are resenting it/not enjoying it, then it may be time. If you are both still in it, then do what feels right.

Best wishes to you and your little boy!
M.

Well, I say if you are both enjoying it then definitely keep it up! I breastfed my daughter until she was 18 months (morning feeding only) and she self-weaned. My son is almost a year, and I will also continue the morning feeding until he's ready to give it up.
Here is some information on breastfeeding past one year:

If your baby nurses for more than a year (or until he outgrows the need), you will continue to provide him with the best form of nutrition. The fact that most babies can tolerate cow's milk after one year doesn't mean that they don't continue to get benefits from nursing. The concentration of antibodies in human milk becomes more concentrated as the volume they consume goes down.

During the toddler stage, your baby will encounter many spills and bumps and bruises as he navigates his new world. Nursing provides a perfect way to comfort a toddler who had bumped his knee, or who is fighting sleep after a busy day. Children who are breastfed long-term tend to be more secure than babies who are weaned early, because they have had their needs met during the vulnerable period of infancy. Don't worry that your baby will nurse forever - all babies wean eventually, no matter what you do. Children grow up way too quickly, and the time they spend nursing is so short in comparison to the 18 years that they spend at home.

Long-term nursing provides benefits for moms, too. Many of the benefits of breastfeeding are dose-related. This means that, for example, the longer you breastfeed over the course of your lifetime, the lower your risk of breast cancer and osteoporosis.

I know my son is my last child, so I am completely NOT ready to give up the breastfeeding time we have together. I look forward to waking him up each morning and spending that time together. He just lays in my lap and eats and talks to me...nothing better than that! Put the books down, stop reading about it, and just let it be.

Jennifer,

You sound like a great mom. Learn to trust your intuition - it's better than books and experts. This isn't a black and white, life or death issue and you don't sound like you have any serious vices or addictions for which you need help, so listen to Brett and your instincts and do what's right for you two.

Good luck.

M.

I love that your still nursing!! I nursed my son until he was 2 1/2 yrs old... If you love doing it, why stop right now. You really don't need to.

I agree with some of your responses about trusting your instincts. I think it comes down to what is best for both of you. I didn't think I was ready to wean my son, but he gradually appeared less interested in nursing. I kept forcing him to nurse, until a week before his 1st birthday, he just refused. So I finally had to wean him (or wean myself really). In retrospect, I've found that when I let my son set the pace, he generally lets me know when he is ready. Sometimes it just takes me awhile to hear him. Good luck.

I would say if you aren't sure, don't do it yet. Give yourself 6 weeks and ask yourself again. At this age, BF is still important. If you cut out one time a day, you may look at it differently. Remember that the brain is growing rapidly until age 2, and your son needs the essential fatty acids and live cells from your milk for optimal brain growth. And flu season is coming up. Having been through THAT, I can tell you that I was so thankful I was still nursing. I got sick as a dog, but my twin nurslings didn't get it at all. They nursed more than usual, but that may have been more because I was dehydrated. Good luck!

it seems to me that your mommie instincts are telling you to keep it up. If it is still working for you and your son why would you stop. Ignore our culture and go with you gut. You know best.

I nursed my son until he was 15 months old and gradually starting around 13 months, he slowly weaned himself. Unless he's REALLY attached to the breast, he should wean himself.-www.weelicious.com

J.,

It is totally up to you. If you are happy breastfeeding, there is no reason to stop. The idea that breastmilk is somehow "optional" after 1 year old is kind of silly. Most other cultures breastfeed their kids to 3 or 4 or even longer. The idea that a baby is no longer a baby at 12 months is a culturally constructed idea. I breastfed my first until he was 2 (a very pickey eater and always underweight) and my second until he was 18 months (he self weaned at that point). Neither of my kids was "ready" to quit nursing at 12 months old and neither of them really didn't NEED the calories, fat and nutrition in the breastmilk. Neither one of them was eating enough solid foods at 1 year old to sustain them. Even at 18 months when my younger one self-weaned, I switch him to hypoallergenic formula (he's allergic to dairy and soy) because I couldn't get enough fat, calories and protein into him without a milk source. Cow's milk really isn't a substitute for human breastmilk (after all, mother nature designed cow's milk for baby cows, not baby humans) but it can be part of a healthy, well rounded diet (for kids who can tolerate it).

So really the answer is up to you. If you want to wean, wean and if you don't, don't. Is your babe still benefiting from your breastmilk? Yes.

:-)T.

you know what breast feed as long as you think you should. it seems like your son will and is self weaning himself off this last feeding. i know it must be hard but let him do it and maybe start to offer him the cup. at a year old he really doesnt need the breast milk but it also doesnt hurt him. if you are going to give him whole milk (if hes not on it already) pump some of your breast milk and mix it with the whole milk. yes he does need solids and hes only picky because he is unsure about what hes eating. my daughter will eat just about anything you give her fruits vegies steak chicken andything because i introduced her to a wide variety at a young age (i fed her every solid baby food i could find) yet my nephews will only eat chicken nuggets grilled cheese quesadillas and fruit. kids are all different. if your worried about him not getting enough put him on a liguid vitamin (my daughter takes poly vi sol). give it time and just keep introducing new foods every week. i hope this is helpfull!

If your son wants to wean, you should listen to him. I know the closeness is so nice, but as moms we want to hold our children back and keep them little babies forever, but instead we should be celebrating how they grow and change and want to move on from things like big kids. It sounds like the breastfeeding is emotionally more for you than for him at this point.

Dear J.:

There is nothing anyone can tell you that will be better than your Motherly instinct! Do what feels right for you and your baby! The love, security and closeness you and your baby feel is irreplaceable! Enjoy this time!

Sincerely,

Andrea B.

I have six children. I only nursed the last three, wish I had nursed all of them. I nursed one of them until he was 18 months. He is now the most family oriented, and independent young man ever! Believe me, I got lots of comments and stares about nursing an 18 month old. I did it anyway. It was good for both of us. The other two were 13 months and 15 months. Nursing was the best for me and my youngest three. I say do what's best for you and the little guy.
Anne

It sounds like you are not ready to wean fully wean him. Hanging on to one nursing session a day is really normal at this age - I'd keep nursing until one of you doesn't want to nurse anymore.

After 12 months, it is perfectly ok to wean him. You've done your time! ;) If you feel strongly about continuing that is your choice, but first ask yourself "am I doing this for him, or for me?" When I weaned my daughter it was definitely harder on me that it was on her, but it's just one of those things you have to do! If he seems ready, why not just wean him now while it's easy on him?!
Good luck to you :)

It's totally up to you. Many people nurse until their kids go to kindergarten. Some, just manage a few months. I think experts recommend the first year of life - and you've reached that milestone. Many people struggle to wean their kids off, sounds like you're kid is doing it himself if he's not bothered one way or the other. It's totally up to you, but if it were me, I'd consider it a blessing and take advantage!

It's really up to you... and of course your son.
There is nothing wrong with extended-breastfeeding...and in fact, many child experts nursed their own babies past 1 year old.
It is just that in our culture... "1 year" is recommended in terms of the MINIMUM length of time that breastfeeding is beneficial. But, longer is actually valued... and valued in terms of Parenting, bonding, emotional/mental well being, some babies actually need to nurse longer because is helps their immune system etc.

There are many reasons.

Breastfeeding is either (1) Parent lead or, (2) child led.

For me, I let my children self-wean. And they did, on their own. My kids grew like weeds, are confident, independent, and healthy. My first child weaned at about 2.5 years old. My son weaned at about 1 years old.

It's all a matter of perspective... just do what YOU feel is best... and I would suggest researching "extended breastfeeding" on the web.

No matter what... do NOT feel guilty about what you choose for your life and your child. Do what is in your heart. Every Mom is different.

Take care,
Susan