To Have or Not Have a Third at 40???

My best friend just had her 2nd baby at 41. She made sure she ate right and exercised throughout her entire pregnancy. She had no complications and a fairly easy birth. She's even thinking of having another.

I think that you should discuss this with your husband and doctor. Women have healthy pregnancies and babies after turning 40. You can too.

T.,
I,too,felt like our family wasn't quite complete with two children. I had my third when I was 40 and it was my easiest pregnancy. I felt and looked great. I really took it all in knowing that would be my last time being pregnant. She's 16 months old and I can't imagine our lives without her!

Go for it. This is a regret you do not want to live with the rest of your life!

I know what you mean, I was the same way, feeling like I just wasn't done yet. I'm not quite 40, so I can't tell you about that part, but I can tell you that it was a harder pregnancy with the 3rd. I experienced several things that I didn't with the first 2.
I wouldn't change anything though. I don't think someday you're going to look at your child and say "I wish I never had you"! You may though say down the road, "I wish we would have had another"! Obviously the final decision is up to you and your husband, but if you're financially, and physically ready (remember those sleepless nights, middle of the night feedings, multiple diaper changes :)) then go for it! Best of luck, whatever you decide!

I just had my fourth and last at 36.....but anyway my friend just turned 45 and she is on her 3rd and last (oops)...the Dr gave her a clean bill of health and she had a few more ultrasounds than someone younger.....but she is expecting a healthy baby boy this march......so talk to your Dr. first.......oh and by the way she says she has had a good amount of energy throughout her pregnancy thus far & she works part time and has a 2 1/2 year old & 15 year old who is in every sport imagineable.

Hi T.,

I didn't start my family until I was older. I was 38 when I had my son and 40 when my daughter was born (they're now 5 & 3, respectively). My "40" pregnancy was fine (except that I gained a lot of weight, but that was my own darn fault!). I, too, was worried about the age thing, but all was well with my daughter and me. As long as you're healthy and your body is okay, you should be fine. If age is the only risk factor you have, you're lucky. I also know, if I were younger, we would have had a third. I didn't want to push things by being 42 or 43 and pregnant. I say go for it! Good luck!

J.

I say go for it. Just be aware of the risks. I have 3 - the last one is 6 months old and I had her a few months before I turned 40.

The third pregnancy is harder than the other two - but I think that is typical no matter what your age. you also are much more tired, but then you are also taking care of 2 kids instead of one or none.

I agree with the other mom who said, you will never look at your child and say i wish i didn't have you but you might think I wish I had another.

I debated about even having a third, and once I got pregnant I was so excited but I'd have moments of panic thinking am I going to be ok with three. And its wonderful!

But whatever you decide, it will be the right decision.

I had my 2nd and last 8 weeks before I turned 40. If I could have another one (I can't have more) I would totally go for it. We've talked about adopting one more for the same reason you state- we feel like we're supposed to have another person in our family...if you and your hubby are on the same page - jump!

Talk to your doctor, talk to your husband, and maybe even talk to your kids.

Make sure that in addition to the "I love being pregnant" and "I want that serious baby itch again" that you also want the nighttime feedings, diaper changes, tantrum toddler stage, potty training, and added mouth to feed. It also comes with that first smile, first laugh, learning to crawl, walk, first words, and the joys of watching your little human being learn about and discover the world around himself/herself.

Only you know your family situation and what all of you can handle, so why not hold an informal meeting with your husband and perhaps the kids to discuss the option? Really examine what your heart wants and what your head can handle. After a lot of rational reflection you should have your answer - it'll be the right one for you!

Good luck with your decision.

I had my fourth child (BIG surprise!) at 40. I had some problems that I did not experience with any of my other children, but nothing serious that required bedrest. I was in great shape, exercising 4 or 5 times a week, but I still was tired a lot and it just hit me more than my other pregnancies. So here's my personal experience.....

Going from 2-3 kids is a BIG change. Basically you go from man-to-man defense to a zone. There will always be a child not getting attention because there's only 2 of you. That's something to think about. So this will be a HUGE change to your kids. There's also the car factor, there won't be many cars that all the carseats will fit in. You're going to have to do the SUV or minivan.

My last one is lots of fun. There is a 10 year age gap between him and my oldest, 8 years between #2 and him and 6 years between #3 and him. It took them awhile to get used to the crying and distration of a baby in the house. They have lots of fun with him, but they still complain.

I am usually the "old" mom at any classes or playgroups with him. Not that it bothers me, but it's another factor. I keep in shape, so it's not like I can't keep up with him or anything.

That being said, I wouldn't give him up, but there are lots of things to think about. I was actively working on not getting pregnant when I found out about Luke, so I figure that he's set to do something very important! Maybe he has just by being in my house! :-)